And it’s 1-2-3 what are we fighting for? In the case of the Rams – nowt, we waved the white flag from the off.
A comatose County ran out at White Hart Lane and proceeded to put in a performance that was demanded defeat. We got what we deserved.
McEveley and Leacock started as did Earnshaw with Davis out injured, Griffin and Jones on the bench, those were the changes from Wednesday.
With barely a minute on the clock, a free kick, a wall redundant as the ball is squared to Steed Malbranque. The number fifteen with more space than a social outcast let rip with a powerful shot that left Bywater no chance, one nil.
Five minutes and Malbranque again in space, this time he goes for the opposite corner of the net with the same predictable result, two nil.
Seventeen, Pearson loses the ball near the centre circle and Jermaine Judas (whoops, sorry) Jenas runs through powderpuff challenges and slots the ball home, three nil.
Now what do you do? Three goals down and you’re already playing a 4-4-2. What can you do especially with no other striker on the bench? The answer was carry on regardless. It’s black humour which matches the kit.
On the half hour mark and the ball is in the back of the net again this time disallowed by home ref Chris Foy, but, let’s not blame the officials they weren’t the worst – we were.
Mears sits down near the dugout having had enough, and, to be fair personally I was surprised he started having picked up the injury on Wednesday against City. Griffin his replacement.
Keane, who could complain after winning the lottery jackpot, alone, comes close twice. There’s no fight in the Rams, yet still the fans sing “We’re Going To Beat You Four Three”, amazing support.
The second half continues as the first, Teale on for Todd finally has the first and only shot on target for the visitors, Robinson parries the ball away to safety. Before that, Howard crunches Huddlestone to applause from certain sections of the crowd.
On seventy nine Chimbonda chips and Bywater tips, the bar flips and Darren Bent gleefully heads the ball in. Four nil and cue a mass exodus from the ground for those who decide enough is enough.
A brief chorus of “5-4”, four minutes of unnecessary prolonging and the match is over.
It’s a downhill slope, excellent against Portsmouth, good first half versus the Sky Blues and appalling today. Which Derby County will we see next Saturday? That’s the £30 million question.
Final score: Tottenham Hotspur 4-0 Derby County
Player ratings:
Bywater 5 - Nothing he could do about the goals.
Mears 5 - Didn’t look fit and wasn’t.
Moore 5 - Up against Bent, did okay.
Leacock 4 - Off the pace.
McEveley 4 - Dreadful distribution.
Pearson 5 - Played out of position first, better second half.
Oakley 5 - Struggled in midfield.
Todd 4 - Bypassed completely.
Fagan 5 - Willingness and little else.
Howard 5 - A target man without missles.
Earnshaw 3 - For those who remember Derek Hales.
Man Of The Match: Derby’s travelling fans.
Referee: Chris Foy 6 - A homer but he hardly influenced the result.
View: Row 9 Upper. Right in the corner. Excellent view, good banter with the locals before hand in the recently refurbished Vicoria. Stewards a sense of humour, no long queues for refreshements. It’s just when you pay over thirty quid and the players shortchange you. Groundrating 8/10.