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Bullying in Schools 13:38 - Sep 26 with 2427 viewsjack_lord

What should schools actually do?

My daughter has personally experienced this twice in a matter of a few months.

Different girls apart from one protagonist.

The latest incident saw my daughter surrounded by approximately 20 girls.

In my opinion, they really are not dealing with this emotive issue but I am asking, both as a parent and interested party, what can they actually do?

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Bullying in Schools on 13:42 - Sep 26 with 1945 viewsomarjack

What can schools do? Suspensions.

What can parents do? Support.

What can the kids who are being bullied do? Kick the bullies in the balls if they have to.

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Bullying in Schools on 15:51 - Sep 26 with 1878 viewscontroversial_jack

Bullying in Schools on 13:42 - Sep 26 by omarjack

What can schools do? Suspensions.

What can parents do? Support.

What can the kids who are being bullied do? Kick the bullies in the balls if they have to.


They don't want to admit it happens in their perfect school under their management
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Bullying in Schools on 16:33 - Sep 26 with 1858 viewsCatullus

They can call the parents of the bullies in for a meeting, suspend the bully or bullies and even expel them if they are really badly behaved.
Truth is though, most of the time they do very little. We know someone who complained every week about her son being bullied and the school denied anything was going on. They paid more attentiom when he tried to commit suicide but his mother removed him from that school and looked for another one. Even then, they threatened her with action, even the police if he didn't attend.
When her daughter became prey for bullies and she complained again, they called the police to the school, had her removed and banned her.
I hope you have complained in writing and keep a diary of every incident and who your daughter has told in school.
It's a parents worst nightmare, the uncontrollable, knowing there is trouble but being practically powerless.
Our son was getting a bit of trouble in school and we told him he could defend himself but when he did, the teacher on yard duty punished him. He said he'd told the teacher while it was happening and was called a liar.

It's hard.

Just my opinion, but WTF do I know anyway?
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Bullying in Schools on 17:14 - Sep 26 with 1833 viewsJACKMANANDBOY

I sympathise with your position, we had to keep the conversation going with the school, we kept a diary of all our dealings and eventually sat down with the chair of governors and went through our dealings. He was very supportive and was responsible for set up a ' respect programme' in the school.
My son came through it, it was not easy, but he eventually focussed on the more position relationship s he had and taking him to Kick Boxing improved his confidence enormously.

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Bullying in Schools on 18:27 - Sep 26 with 1769 viewsexhmrc1

Having experienced this years ago with my son schools just dont address it. They pay lip services to it. the answer is the expulsion of the bully which doesnt look good on the school so they do nothing and cover it up when things go wrong. There is jealousy against your daughter but tell her to keep at it. She will be the winner long term.
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Bullying in Schools on 18:38 - Sep 26 with 1763 viewsCooperman

Both of my kids attend and my wife is on the teaching staff at the Llanelli school.

Believe me when I say that we’ve lived and breathed this every night for the past few weeks, hours spent debating what could have been done and how the situation can be improved. There is no easy answer.

It is impossible for the school to investigate every playground spat and kids have a habit of exaggerating or bending the truth. How can the more serious cases be uncovered? If we could just get to that point then I think it becomes easier as suspensions can be applied. I truly feel for any parent who has a child going through this and I would encourage you to fairly challenge the authorities if you ever feel the need.

There is something else that all parents can do - put your arms around your children and teach them about the difference between right and wrong. Much of this starts at home. We’ve all shed tears at home following the recent tragic events and via our talks I would like to think that my kids have become even better for it.

RIP young Bradley ❤️

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Bullying in Schools on 20:39 - Sep 26 with 1689 viewsdickythorpe

Teachers aren't allowed to shout, rant or get hold of these bullies anymore. It stopped bullying in my school in an instant.
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Bullying in Schools on 20:55 - Sep 26 with 1664 viewsDr_Winston

The problem is the bullies are untouchable as parents don't give a shit.

Make parents liable for the behaviour of their kids in school and things might change.

Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or f*cking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

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Bullying in Schools on 21:18 - Sep 26 with 1633 viewsCatullus

Bullying in Schools on 20:55 - Sep 26 by Dr_Winston

The problem is the bullies are untouchable as parents don't give a shit.

Make parents liable for the behaviour of their kids in school and things might change.


I saw 3 girls bullying a boy Monday, all from Birchgrove comp. They were grabbing him, slapping him, he was trying to get away and was visibly upset. I slowed down, wanted to do something but what? The kids would just swear at me and if I touched one I'd be in the sh/t and the boy would be no better off.
Is it just me or are girls much worse these days?

Just my opinion, but WTF do I know anyway?
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Bullying in Schools on 21:18 - Sep 26 with 1632 viewsjack2jack

Mrs J2J suffered bullying when she was in school.She actually met one of the girls that had bullied her in school many many years after leaving school.
They had a good chat, and the bully told my wife that the reason she bullied her, was down to the fact that my wife had a mum and dad that cared about her, something that she didn't experience at home, so I'm guessing there was an element of jealousy, and possibly low self esteem connected with her a actions.
The root problem is possibly down to the home life, I'm not saying it's that simple, and how do you solve the problem when some parents don't care.
Parents ,schools and individuals all have some responsibility, but as I say there's no easy solution.
I feel for any parent and child going through bullying, it's not nice and can have dire consequence, as we've all seen so very recently.
Best wishes to all.
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Bullying in Schools on 21:26 - Sep 26 with 1619 viewsDr_Winston

Bullying in Schools on 21:18 - Sep 26 by Catullus

I saw 3 girls bullying a boy Monday, all from Birchgrove comp. They were grabbing him, slapping him, he was trying to get away and was visibly upset. I slowed down, wanted to do something but what? The kids would just swear at me and if I touched one I'd be in the sh/t and the boy would be no better off.
Is it just me or are girls much worse these days?


Girls have always been bad.

My mothers other half used to be a bouncer and the nightmare was always a woman kicking off. Blokes were fair enough. You trade punches and you're done. What do you do with an aggressive woman?

Most of the times someone has kicked off at me in work it's been a girl.

Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or f*cking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

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Bullying in Schools on 21:33 - Sep 26 with 1604 viewsGwyn737

The sad thing is that bullying is quite hard to sort out.

If it’s witnessed physical stuff school can act on proof. However, schools aren’t the police - they can’t always fully investigate online issues or apportion blame with name calling when it’s
One word against another. Schools also can’t be a proxy for poor parenting.

What I would suggest for secondary school age children, if parents aren’t getting the support
of the school, is to involve the police. The children are the age of criminal responsibility after all .
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Bullying in Schools on 21:38 - Sep 26 with 1592 viewsmajorraglan

It’s a very difficult issue to deal with. Eldest had a word with one offender and offered to “duff up” another, but we warned him not to because he would have ended up in deeper trouble than the bullies.


My youngest has had issues at secondary school and we have been to see several head of years and the head teacher on a couple of occasions. Schools don’t like to hear they have bullying issues and they all have policies etc, but it’s often quite hard to get something positive done about the issue because the bully invariably does the bullying when they are alone, or when they are with their mates and the victim is on their own, even though the school knew it had happened they couldn’t prove it as it was one word against the other or people weren’t prepared to speak up and say the truth.

Keeping a diary is good advice, asking for a copy of the bullying policy is good as is asking for a meeting with the Chair of Governors, but with the latter they are often close to the Head Teacher so you may not always get what you want. You can go to the Police, but there down our way they have a policy in place where issues that happen on school grounds are dealt with by the school, but last time out I threatened to go to the police and that did focus their mind. Some councillors are good and being able to bending the ear of the Cabinet Member for Education would be positive. The school should have a Police Liaison Officer (they are funded by the WAG), the wife has a friend who was a police officer before retiring and was able to point us in the right direction.

It’s a terrible thing to deal with and watching the effect it has on your kids is terrible.
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Bullying in Schools on 23:26 - Sep 26 with 1526 viewsjack_lord

When the bullying occurred last term, we set about moving her to another school as she was about to start her gsce years. She was not accepted as we were out of catchment and the school was at capacity.

We did appeal and have just found out that it was successful so will move schools within days. I spoke to the heads of year and the headteacher today and there was, what I would describe as, a bit of a cover up. I have told them that I don't want my daughter there as this is a repeat occurrence and it is not six of one and half a dozen of the other.

They have not addressed the problem but is it the school or is it really that difficult as has been highlighted above?

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Bullying in Schools on 09:16 - Sep 27 with 1444 viewsCatullus

Bullying in Schools on 23:26 - Sep 26 by jack_lord

When the bullying occurred last term, we set about moving her to another school as she was about to start her gsce years. She was not accepted as we were out of catchment and the school was at capacity.

We did appeal and have just found out that it was successful so will move schools within days. I spoke to the heads of year and the headteacher today and there was, what I would describe as, a bit of a cover up. I have told them that I don't want my daughter there as this is a repeat occurrence and it is not six of one and half a dozen of the other.

They have not addressed the problem but is it the school or is it really that difficult as has been highlighted above?


It's really that difficult. Bullies are devious. You can't be there all day and teachers can't watch everyone all the time.
There's a bully in my sons school who I can't post more about in case I manage to ID him to someone but some of the things he's done are really bad. In his case I actually don't blame him, from what I've seen and heard it's bad parenting. He is crying out for attention. I gave him praise one day and he grinned from ear to ear, genuine happiness and he behaved himself. He needs more than he gets at home. I mean, I'm far from a perfect dad, I've made loads of mistakes but our son doesn't go without attention, time spent with him is time we both (myself and his mum) love and it really rattles my cage to see kids treated as if they are a nuisance to their own family, not least because of the consequences but also because the kids deserve better.
Some kids are just bad, I can't hide from that but some bullies from when I was in school turned out to be really good people too.

Just my opinion, but WTF do I know anyway?
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Bullying in Schools on 19:50 - Sep 27 with 1331 viewsCooperman

I really hope you are all able to get your respective issues sorted.

Never give up on the right for peace at school.

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Bullying in Schools on 19:54 - Sep 27 with 1327 viewsSgorioFruit

from day one I will be teaching my boy to fight back against bullies.

Hit em hard

My methods are not favoured by some but by god i speak the truth.
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Bullying in Schools on 20:06 - Sep 27 with 1315 viewsCooperman

Bullying in Schools on 19:54 - Sep 27 by SgorioFruit

from day one I will be teaching my boy to fight back against bullies.

Hit em hard


Also teach him to look out for others who are being singled out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with stepping in and supporting a lone and defenceless child. It is not to be seen as a sign of weakness and the bullies are likely to see it as a sign of strength. Above all else it could also save a life.

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Bullying in Schools on 20:12 - Sep 27 with 1307 viewsSgorioFruit

Bullying in Schools on 20:06 - Sep 27 by Cooperman

Also teach him to look out for others who are being singled out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with stepping in and supporting a lone and defenceless child. It is not to be seen as a sign of weakness and the bullies are likely to see it as a sign of strength. Above all else it could also save a life.


correct, good post

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Bullying in Schools on 10:49 - Sep 28 with 1203 viewscontroversial_jack

Bullying in Schools on 20:12 - Sep 27 by SgorioFruit

correct, good post


To do that you need to be really confident about your abilities or you will become a victim yourself
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Bullying in Schools on 12:08 - Sep 28 with 1175 viewsCatullus

Bullying in Schools on 10:49 - Sep 28 by controversial_jack

To do that you need to be really confident about your abilities or you will become a victim yourself


I'd agree and I'll go further, stepping in to help a victim can also be seen by the teachers as being a bully yourself and getting punished for it.
In my sons case he got into trouble for fighting back....yes I'd told him if he was bullied to lamp the tw@t, which he did. Then the teacher punished him for being violent, reported him to the headteacher and the bully gloated.
I know my son was in the right because a friend told us their son had seen what happened and my boy was defending himself.

Just my opinion, but WTF do I know anyway?
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Bullying in Schools on 15:37 - Sep 28 with 1135 viewsLeonWasGod

Bullying in Schools on 19:54 - Sep 27 by SgorioFruit

from day one I will be teaching my boy to fight back against bullies.

Hit em hard


Which is fine until someone sticks a knife in his gut. Responses to bullying need to be a bit more nuanced than that these days imo. Other you just create a cycle of violence that goes round and can end in tragic circumstances (as we see too often).
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Bullying in Schools on 20:38 - Sep 28 with 1087 viewsSgorioFruit

Bullying in Schools on 15:37 - Sep 28 by LeonWasGod

Which is fine until someone sticks a knife in his gut. Responses to bullying need to be a bit more nuanced than that these days imo. Other you just create a cycle of violence that goes round and can end in tragic circumstances (as we see too often).


hopefully something this awful will never happen to anyone any of us know,
but what would be your alternative to telling your son to hit the bully back twice as hard?

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Bullying in Schools on 21:07 - Sep 28 with 1060 viewsDippy

It's a sensitive issue.. and usually the bully is a traumatised individual.. and schools struggle to address and deal with mentally ill youngsters.

I was one of these mentally ill youngsters (not a bully btw).. but this is an area where schools can improve.. funding for educational psychologists to be placed in school settings would help.. but governments don't care sadly..

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Bullying in Schools on 22:01 - Sep 28 with 1025 viewsSgorioFruit

SgorioFruit speaks....

I was bullied, by a complete bastard
I was in a primary school on an air force base aged 9 years old.
Martin Clark, that's his name, what a hard bastard he was. He held my head under water when we were in a swimming lesson, I was about a half a second from drowning. This was one of many many incidents.
I had new school trousers bought for me. After my first day of wearing them they were full of holes, where bastard Martin Clark had dragged me around the field by the tie around my neck, strangling me along the way while he bellowed with laughter. My parents told me to smash him just the once, and he will leave me alone. I was afraid of being in trouble with the teachers if I got into a fight. But this went on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
Until....
One day a 9 year old SgorioFruit was taking a leak in the urinal when in walked Martin Clark, he grabbed my school tie and strangled me until I couldn't breathe no more. As he stood there laughing, something snapped in SgorioFruit's head, and I smashed him in the face, which he did not expect, I then continued to keep smashing him over and over, this was months and months of being bullied finally coming out in a fit of rage, I was scared of this hard bastard for years, and now I was smashing his head against the urinal which was full of fresh piss. Yes he was stronger than me to fight back but the shock to him being clouted took over, as he had his head slammed against the ceramic time and time again.

Did he go anywhere near me again? NO.

Was SgorioFruit bullied or intimidated by Martin Clark ever again? NO.

Im against violence at all costs, my boy is only 18 months old, later on in life will I be telling him to smash the bully back as hard as he can? You goddamn right I will.


Hit em Hard
[Post edited 28 Sep 2018 22:04]

My methods are not favoured by some but by god i speak the truth.
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