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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 91935 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 10:15 - Sep 5 with 3418 viewsTrom

A man with no legs went to the disco

Got thown out for arsing around
0

Corny Joke Warning on 12:30 - Sep 5 with 3318 viewshubble

I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement.
At least I think they're vegans. They kept shouting 'lettuce leaf'
1

Corny Joke Warning on 12:36 - Sep 5 with 3295 viewsMick_S

What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?

A hobby horse

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
Poll: Should Seann and Katya stay on Strictly Come Dancing?

2

Corny Joke Warning on 13:44 - Sep 5 with 3257 viewsSuffolk

Did you hear about the magic tractor that turned into a field?
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Corny Joke Warning on 14:00 - Sep 5 with 3233 viewsSaycey

I've just had a garden fence put in made up of three-foot concrete dildoes.

My neighbour isn't that fussed about it, but his missus is still on the fence...
3

Corny Joke Warning on 14:56 - Sep 5 with 3188 viewsMytch_QPR

Apologies if you've seen / heard before:

Bloke buys a new dog. He soon establishes the dog supports QPR.

One day he's at home with the dog watching QPR v Ch*lsea. His best mate comes over for the game and a few beers.
36th minute, Ch*lsea go 1-0 up and the dog starts growling. By the 68th minute, Ch*lsea score again and the dog is really growling. The owner's mate says 'f*ck me, what does he do when QPR score?'

'No idea', says the owner - 'I've only had him 10 months'.

Boom boom.

"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

6

Corny Joke Warning on 15:09 - Sep 5 with 3172 viewsEsox_Lucius

There has been a spate of pick pocketing from little people in my area recently.
How can thieves stoop so low.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

2

Corny Joke Warning on 15:42 - Sep 5 with 3137 viewsdontknowitall

I was always disappointed in my efforts to see The Clash
There was always something else on at the same time.

People said that i'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
Take a look at me now
3
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Corny Joke Warning on 16:30 - Sep 5 with 3106 viewsEsox_Lucius

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, try swimming with sharks.

Cost me an arm and a leg.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

3
Corny Joke Warning on 17:00 - Sep 5 with 3094 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 15:42 - Sep 5 by dontknowitall

I was always disappointed in my efforts to see The Clash
There was always something else on at the same time.

People said that i'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
Take a look at me now


I remember when my first wife said she was going to leave me over my obsession with Only Fools And Horses.
I said "Ok, I'll fetch the suitcase from the van..."
[Post edited 5 Sep 2018 21:57]

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

1

Corny Joke Warning on 20:02 - Sep 5 with 2989 viewsbosh67

When I met my girlfriend she told me she was bi.

I thought, wow, this is going to be exciting.

Turns out she meant bi-polar.

Never knowingly right.
Poll: Rename South Africa Road stand the Stan Bowles stand

2
Corny Joke Warning on 22:43 - Sep 5 with 2900 viewsRebalhoop

Corny Joke Warning on 20:02 - Sep 5 by bosh67

When I met my girlfriend she told me she was bi.

I thought, wow, this is going to be exciting.

Turns out she meant bi-polar.


Bi-Polar.....isn’t that a sexually experimental bear
0

Corny Joke Warning on 09:44 - Sep 6 with 2787 viewsTrom

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
3
Corny Joke Warning on 10:02 - Sep 6 with 2774 viewsMytch_QPR

Corny Joke Warning on 09:44 - Sep 6 by Trom

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.


Well....

The world champion carpet fitter has just been disqualified - turns out he'd been using stair rods.

"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

2

Corny Joke Warning on 10:10 - Sep 6 with 2773 viewsDorse

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

1

Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - Sep 7 with 2655 viewsBoston

Loftus Rd’s getting new lighting....football matches.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 07:35 - Sep 7 with 2614 viewshorshamHoop

"Formed in 1977 in Coventry, they are an English 2 tone ska revival band whose music combines a steady rock beat with punk attitude. Jerry Dammers and his band mates achieved fame and notoriety with classics such as ' Ghost Town ' and ' Too Much Too Young'".

"Well, that's true" I said to the waiter "But it's not what I meant when I asked you to tell me about the specials"
10

Corny Joke Warning on 11:21 - Sep 7 with 2555 viewsEsox_Lucius

I just bought a Ford Transvestite and it keeps jumping into the wrong gear.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

1

Corny Joke Warning on 12:26 - Sep 7 with 2541 viewsdontknowitall

I used to play triangle in a reggae band but ended up leaving because it was just one ting after another
5

Corny Joke Warning on 12:33 - Sep 7 with 2534 viewsSouthend_Rss

Read in the paper the other day about two guys caught robbing a calendar from WHSmiths.. They got 6 months each
5
Corny Joke Warning on 12:56 - Sep 7 with 2516 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 12:33 - Sep 7 by Southend_Rss

Read in the paper the other day about two guys caught robbing a calendar from WHSmiths.. They got 6 months each


I used to really fancy the girl who worked in the Calendar Shop

Never got round to asking her for a date though

Here for a good time..... not a long time

1
Corny Joke Warning on 12:57 - Sep 7 with 2513 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 17:00 - Sep 5 by Esox_Lucius

I remember when my first wife said she was going to leave me over my obsession with Only Fools And Horses.
I said "Ok, I'll fetch the suitcase from the van..."
[Post edited 5 Sep 2018 21:57]


My ex girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my habit of singing Frank Sinatra songs during sex... I said "That's life..... "

Here for a good time..... not a long time

0

Corny Joke Warning on 14:23 - Sep 7 with 2475 viewsBathRanger

My friend Gemma Pell has a nightmare introducing herself in France.

I'd really like to thank her for being a great teacher though. She taught me the meaning of beaucoup and it means a lot.
[Post edited 7 Sep 2018 14:58]
0

Corny Joke Warning on 15:16 - Sep 7 with 2429 viewsTrom

I was mugged by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can’t run
2
Corny Joke Warning on 16:00 - Sep 7 with 2398 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 12:33 - Sep 7 by Southend_Rss

Read in the paper the other day about two guys caught robbing a calendar from WHSmiths.. They got 6 months each


Two lads were caught using fireworks in the lift of some flats near me. The court let them off.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

0
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