An extensive and ongoing lock-down clear up of the flat has unearthed some long lost objects: iPods, minidiscs, half-finished books, ex-girlfriends etc. But I turned up a real gem the other day. I’m not a football shirt wearer but I do own 3 tops. A classic Rs 70s blue and white hoops (proper gauge), a fetching carmine red number of a Dutch village side I appeared for in the late 80s, and an up until now lost Russian top. The last ever Soviet Russia national top.
Abroad in the early 90s when the Soviet Union was breaking up I saw a load dirt-cheap in the bargain bin of a back-street Parisian sports shop. I contemplated buying them all up but only bought one, explaining to the shopkeeper they were more than just football shirts but historical cultural artefacts and would be worth something one day. He didn’t seem too bothered or maybe didn’t understand me as my French was tres merde. I found said topski the other day under a decades worth accumulated strata of domestic-debris. It’s a garish chintz-curtain Adidas affair, the design reminds me of a massacre at a Wimpy Bar. A Leningrad Wimpy Bar. It’s saving grace is a sewn-on material hammer and sickle badge.
Anyway here’s the Antiques Roadshow bit. One was recently sold on eBay for £400. Get in comrade!
I’ve been doing a lockdown Friday football quiz nite with a few mates on Zoom. As I won it last week I have to set the questions for tonight. I’m getting heavy homework flashbacks as I’ve left it all to last minute. Actually it’s going well. As we’re a mixture of QPR Spurs and Millwall all the questions are going to revolve around the three teams. To cut a long story short. Who was QPRs first £2 million pound player?
I know our first million pound player. And I know Spurs first million and 2 million pound players but who was our first double million player?
TF: Can you here me Don? How’s it looking in the dressing room?
DH: Not good gaffer. Falco’s turned an ankle, Reidy’s lumbago is playing up, Clarkey’s got gut rot, and Martin Allen’s baby’s got gripe.
TF: Okay we can work round that
DH: There’s more gaffer. Wrighty’s blabbing his eyes out singing Flower of Scotland swigging from a bottle of Whisky. Says he’s homesick.
TF: Can someone help him?
DH: Another problem. Kenny Sansom is already helping him with the Whiskey
TF: We’ll start with Mark Dennis. He’s not suspended again is he?
DH: No he’s not suspended boss but you sold him in the summer.
TF: Andy Gray?
TF: Any of the reserves about? The lad Leslie. Leslie Ferguson.
DH: Leslie Ferdinand boss. Says he can’t play unless we sacrifice a chicken for him in the centre circle like they do at Besiktas.
TF: Will a roast chicken do? Nab one from the executive catering suite.
DH: I thought of that gaffer. Les says a roast chicken’s not the same. Got to be alive.
TF: Don just get 11 bodies on the pitch. We’ll park the bus and hope Spunky has the game of his life in goal.
DH: Also problems there boss. Dave has just turned up in his waders says he’s sprained his wrist wrestling with a 6lb chub.
TF: What’s he doing wånking before the game?
DH: No gaffer he was fishing
TF: Stick the big lad Macca in goal.
DH: He’s offered but Paul Parker’s grabbed the gloves and keepers jersey. Says he loves playing in goal and is the best in the club. Reckons he better than Seaman.
TF: Paul Parker! We might as well put a garden gnome in goal.
DH: I thought of that boss. Daphne says they’re all sold out. Scandinavian coach party bought the lot.
TF: Ah there you are Don I can see the day-glo yellow piping of your influence tracksuit gleaming in the autumn sunshine. Who’s that young lad you’re with? Can you tell him you’re busy. Tell him no autographs. Tell him to fcuk off.
DH: The young lad I’m with is the chairman Trev and there’s more bad news.
The Rs second season back in the top flight finishing as top London team for the first time in the club’s history. Was looking good for Europe too but ran out of steam towards the end. Nonetheless a magic season. One I’m particularly fond of as I made my debut - in the Shed. A six-goal ding-dong baptism of fire.
My Grandad was pushing Liverpool on me at the time, and he almost succeeded, but I defy you show any 8 year-old that team in that kit back then and they would end up Rangers for life. The tracksuit (above) was pretty special too.
I’ve trawled YouTube and found approximately a third of the season in various shapes and sizes. Will post below.
Whitby Town or Gloucester City vs Stourbridge Southport vs Altrincham Oxford City vs Margate Canvey Island or Bowers & Pitsea vs Chichester City Dartford vs Kingstonian or Weston Super Mare Weymouth vs Dover Athletic
I wonder if any of this lot can make it through to the 3rd Round Proper in January.
Ps: I respect LFW may be fed up with politics and the state of the nation (aren’t we all) but in the context of parliament being shut down and democracy being tested to the max it doesn’t look good there’s no politics on here. I suggest at the very least keep it to one thread.