IT'S tough when you go to only one away game a season. You could spend hours looking at the fixture list at the start of the season trying to decide which game offers the best hope of a win or the greatest chance of a memorable day out.

So my friends and I have taken the angst out of it by electing to go to an away game on the same weekend of each year. We started this at Brentford in 2013 (a 3-2 loss after leading 2-1 late on) and continued the trend at Dagenham a year ago (4-1 win and arguably the best Blues display of the season).

Those trips were both good fun in different ways but when this season's fixtures came out, the computer presented us with a long haul to Morecambe. We didn't flinch - the decision had been made and Morecambe we would go to - no arguments or doubts.

It's a long time since I've been a regular at away games - I didn't miss too many at all between 1986 and 1999, but my last journey anywhere like as far as Morecambe was Goodison Park for a 1-0 win. That was nine seasons and three league divisions ago.

Almost a decade on, we found ourselves setting off for one of the most meaningless games of recent times, but somehow that didn't matter. Pompey are not going up nor down, and nor are Morecambe for that matter. But the relevance of the game doesn't really come into our thoughts with such awaydays.

We'll deal with the match later on but what makes these days out is the journey, the banter with friends, seeing other away supporters you don't ever meet at home games, and assessing how good or bad another club's facilities are compared to Pompey's.

Morecambe's a long old trek, as the other 648 fans who made the trip will also verify. You get to Stoke, which has always seemed like the distant north-west to this south-coast dweller, and you still have about 100 miles to go. Then you get to the Manchester and Liverpool turn-offs and you're a good hour away, still.

Of course we chose to go to this corner of Lancashire at a time when its closest motorway junction was not worth using. And no, there was no point coming off the M6 earlier and finding another way to the town. The geography of this area meant going even further on the motorway then coming back on yourself was the only alternative. Still the scenery was nice.

The undoubted highlight of the journey up, after the obligatory stop for breakfast at Warwick, which is exactly halfway to anywhere, was a white painted signed on a railway bridge across the motorway imploring all to VOTE PIES. It's the most sense I've heard in this general election campaign so far and I'd love to know why the other parties think we shouldn't do as told on this one.

Oh and what's with the weird building at Lancaster services? It's like an air traffic control tower at an airport. There was a funny smell in the air, here, too.

As important as getting to the Globe Arena for us was stopping by the Eric Morecambe statue on Morecambe seafront and striking the Bring Me Sunshine pose next to it for photos. We found it easily although had imagined Eric would be larger than life. He is, in fact, lifesize, but it was still lovely to see him.

Then on along the seafront towards the ground and what's this? The Polo Tower? A very tall, thin structure, painted with the wording and colours of a tube of Polo Mints. How come this isn't as famous as Eric's statue? In any other town, it would be the number-one tourist attraction.

We arrived at the ground at exactly the time we had hoped to - which is always a pleasant surprise after a 300-mile journey that could have held any number of delays - and we had time for a little wander around before going in. A friednly bunch, the Morecambe people, and what a relaxed stadium to watch from.

We had seats and could sit wherever we liked in the Pompey section. And they were cheap too - mine was £21; my 12-year-old son's free! I wrote a piece earlier in the season saying all Premier League and Football League teams should use the TV mega-money they are getting to let children in for nothing. It's heartening to see Morecambe doing it already.

Then to the food kiosk. Morecambe's pies have been sampled by TV's Hairy Bikers and have won awards, so it would have been wrong not to find out what the fuss was about. The choice of chicken, ham and leek or meat and potato was tough - the question of whether to have gravy on it was not. I went for the former and... wow! What a pie. Delightful - they put the pastry-based offerings from Fratton Park (in particular) and many other grounds to shame. They were £3.50 and worth every penny. Exquisite.

I did joke that once we'd eaten our pies, all the main reasons for going to Morecambe were done and we could head home. A couple of hours later, that didn't seem like it had been such a silly idea. But more of the 3pm to 5pm bit later.

The journey home was equally trouble-free and contained two main highlights: one was another painted motorway bridge sign on the same theme as earlier - 'Pies. This is your time.' It wasn't even on the other side of the 'VOTE PIES' bridge. Clearly, someone is taking campaigning seriously, and good for them.

Then there was the sight of a horsebox containing Pineau De Re - last year's Grand National winner and a creditable 12th-placed finisher in the same race this very day. Of course I had to overtake it and imagine that my little Kia was beating Pineau by half-a-length on the line. Wouldn't you have?

After a second visit of the day to Warwick services, there was time for a sing-along to American Pie - a nice continuation of the day's main theme - before we clocked up the last of the day's 607 miles and put the key in the front door around 11pm. It had been a great day, shared with good friends and containing many memorable moments.

Unfortunately not many of those came from the event we'd actually gone to see - the match. It was a poor game and felt like exactly what it was, one between two teams going nowhere.

Pompey were woeful and their efforts made me glad this was my first away game of the season and not - as it was for some - the 24th. I can only sympathise with those who have been to more or to all, because I imagine there have been a number of days when Pompey have looked this poor from start to finish.

On the way up, my son was wondering if we'd see 'another Cambridge'. Well we did see one team score three times as many goals as the other team but that was where the similarity ended.

Pompey had no shape, no energy and no passion. Alarming, really, given how many of those players are playing for their Fratton futures. I actually thought Dan Butler had a decent game at left-back but would struggle to praise anyone else. The central-defensive duo looked vulnerable in every Morecambe attack, the central-midfield two were ineffective, Wes Fogden and Jed Wallace had frustrating days and at times didn't look like they knew where they fitted into the system, and the front two had little to feed off but didn't look on top of their game even when they did get a sniff.

The horrible injury suffered by Josh Passley brought worrying scenes and the crowd fell silent as the medics worked on him. Thankfully he is now out of hopsital with no serious damage done.

The shirtless Pompey chaps dancing on the concrete strip behind one goal provided more entertainment than the team, which was a shame for all those of us who'd made the journey. It wasn't good enough and I'm sure the players and management know that. But they've known they've been way below par on plenty of other occasions this season and they don't seem to be able to stop it happening a little too often.

One wonders whether such abject performances will still be haunting us when we set off for our April 2016 awayday, which may take us to - among other possibilities - Cambridge or Crewe, Northampton or Notts County, Luton or Grimsby or Yeovil or, heaven help us, Eastleigh.

I wondered what sort of one-liner the late, great Eric Morecambe would have come up had he been watching the game. Maybe he'd have adapted one of his funniest ever for Pompey: 'They were playing all the right passes ... but not necessarily in the right order.'

by Steve Bone @stevebone1 on Twitter

Follow @Pompey_Fans

Click here to sign up for an account and reserve your username! You can then post on the Forum and add your comments to articles

Photo: Action Images

Portsmouth Polls