| It’s only a laugh ! 10:11 - Aug 12 with 30645 views | KeithHaynes |
Put your jokes, pics etc right here 👍
Here’s one.
This post has been edited by an administrator |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 22:15 - Aug 29 with 4093 views | WxmJax |
A ham sandwich goes into a pub and asks for a bowl of chips
Sorry, said the barman, we don't serve food here. |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 07:55 - Aug 30 with 4045 views | YrAlarch |
Patrick put on a clean pair of socks every day.
By the end of the week he couldn't get his boots on. |  | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 09:17 - Aug 30 with 4030 views | theloneranger |
When I went to my doctors for a check up earlier.
He told me, "Don't eat anything fatty"
I asked him, "Do you mean things like pies and chips and fried breakfasts" ??
He replied, "NO !! - I said don't eat Anything - Fatty" ...!! |  |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 21:52 - Aug 30 with 3946 views | Kilkennyjack |
I used to run a help group for people addicted to plastic surgery.
It was nice see so many new faces each week. |  |
| Beware of the Risen People
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 08:56 - Sep 1 with 3827 views | SullutaCreturned |
What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft?
Chewing gum. | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 09:04 - Sep 1 with 3814 views | onehunglow |
So the Muslim says I’d rather be xxxxxxx y a 100 virgins and the Irishman says
Thought we didn’t have a choice | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 11:29 - Sep 1 with 3805 views | theloneranger |
"What's the longest sentence known too man"??
"I DO"...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:13 - Sep 3 with 3647 views | Kilkennyjack |
A guy walked out to 5th Avenue and caught a cab just going by.
He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Guy: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab…things happened like that to Frank Feldman all the time.”
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could’ve won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He had the voice of an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me – I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to get through traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate and shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died several years ago and I married his fecking wife." | |
| Beware of the Risen People
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:22 - Sep 3 with 3634 views | Treforys_Jack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:13 - Sep 3 by Kilkennyjack |
A guy walked out to 5th Avenue and caught a cab just going by.
He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Guy: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab…things happened like that to Frank Feldman all the time.”
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could’ve won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He had the voice of an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me – I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to get through traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate and shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died several years ago and I married his fecking wife." |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 20:53 - Sep 3 with 3606 views | union_jack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:13 - Sep 3 by Kilkennyjack |
A guy walked out to 5th Avenue and caught a cab just going by.
He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Guy: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab…things happened like that to Frank Feldman all the time.”
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could’ve won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He had the voice of an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. And he could fix anything. Not like me – I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to get through traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. His clothing was always immaculate and shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died several years ago and I married his fecking wife." |
Very good, the best one yet😂 |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 10:56 - Sep 4 with 3547 views | theloneranger |
The problem is - God gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 00:32 - Sep 5 with 3479 views | Robbie |
Just back from my holiday abroad flight was a bit rocky . woman passenger behind me mentioned she had not known muscles like that she had .
Turned round , see she was looking into her sick bag .
Copyright , Milton Jones . [Post edited 5 Sep 2023 0:34]
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 22:18 - Sep 10 with 3200 views | Kilkennyjack |
One from Bernard Manning ….
Englishman, Scot, Irishman and Cymro captured in Iraq.
Told they will all be shot.
But they can each have one last wish.
Welshman says, i want 1000 welshmen to sing Land of My Fathers.
Scot says, i want 1000 scots playing Flower of Scotland on bagpipes.
Irishman says, i want 1000 irishmen dancing to Riverdance.
Englishman says …… yes you guessed it …..’shoot me first’ …… 🤣 | |
| Beware of the Risen People
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 22:38 - Sep 10 with 3189 views | union_jack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 22:18 - Sep 10 by Kilkennyjack |
One from Bernard Manning ….
Englishman, Scot, Irishman and Cymro captured in Iraq.
Told they will all be shot.
But they can each have one last wish.
Welshman says, i want 1000 welshmen to sing Land of My Fathers.
Scot says, i want 1000 scots playing Flower of Scotland on bagpipes.
Irishman says, i want 1000 irishmen dancing to Riverdance.
Englishman says …… yes you guessed it …..’shoot me first’ …… 🤣 |
I’ve upvoted two of your posts on this thread which confirms to me that you ARE a comedian😂 | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 14:35 - Sep 11 with 3127 views | Kilkennyjack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 22:38 - Sep 10 by union_jack |
I’ve upvoted two of your posts on this thread which confirms to me that you ARE a comedian😂 |
🤣 | |
| Beware of the Risen People
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 14:37 - Sep 11 with 3127 views | Robbie |
Doing a bit of gardening last week , chap next door looks over the fence to me and says , never mind the grass is aways greener in the other side .
I ask him if everything is ok , he answers , you have laid your astroturf on upside down . | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:03 - Sep 14 with 2943 views | theloneranger |
Cliff Richard meets a fan from China.
The fan says, "I luv you Cliff"
"I luv your song, "Itchy Sore Fanny"
Cliff replies, "I never sang a song called that"
The fan says, "Yes you did"
"It went - "Itchy Sore Fanny, How We Don't Talk Anymore" ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 10:09 - Sep 17 with 2768 views | Kilkennyjack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:03 - Sep 14 by theloneranger |
Cliff Richard meets a fan from China.
The fan says, "I luv you Cliff"
"I luv your song, "Itchy Sore Fanny"
Cliff replies, "I never sang a song called that"
The fan says, "Yes you did"
"It went - "Itchy Sore Fanny, How We Don't Talk Anymore" ...!! |
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| Beware of the Risen People
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 18:18 - Sep 17 with 2717 views | theloneranger |
My wife has tried suing our local hospital.
She's saying that after treating me recently, I have lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman has replied, “Your husband was treated in Opthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight" ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 18:52 - Sep 17 with 2699 views | union_jack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 18:18 - Sep 17 by theloneranger |
My wife has tried suing our local hospital.
She's saying that after treating me recently, I have lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman has replied, “Your husband was treated in Opthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight" ...!! |
file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/99/09/84DD871D-CEB1-4507-86E1-6307D3F99E15/IMG_6599.webp
Sorry, don’t know how to get this link to work. [Post edited 17 Sep 2023 18:53]
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:42 - Sep 17 with 2676 views | Joesus_Of_Narbereth |
It’s better to be a prostitute than a drug dealer. A prostitute can always wash her crack and sell it again. |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 15:24 - Sep 18 with 2597 views | theloneranger |
"TECHNOLOGY WILL BE THE DEATH OF US"
Hi Max
This is Richard next door. I've been riddled with guilt for the past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you face to face.
When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife day and night. Probably much more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, and I know there's no excuse - But the temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincere apologies and forgive me.
Please suggest a fee for the usage - And I'll pay you whatever I owe you.
Regards
Richard
Max feeling enraged and betrayed grabbed his gun and rushed next door and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on his sofa.
Max then looked at his phone and saw a second message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE ...
Hi Max
Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text message. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the Spell - Checker had changed "Wi-Fi" to "Wife"
Technology huh ... It'll be the death of us 😂😂 ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:52 - Sep 21 with 2412 views | Kilkennyjack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 15:24 - Sep 18 by theloneranger |
"TECHNOLOGY WILL BE THE DEATH OF US"
Hi Max
This is Richard next door. I've been riddled with guilt for the past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you face to face.
When you're not around, I've been sharing your wife day and night. Probably much more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, and I know there's no excuse - But the temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincere apologies and forgive me.
Please suggest a fee for the usage - And I'll pay you whatever I owe you.
Regards
Richard
Max feeling enraged and betrayed grabbed his gun and rushed next door and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on his sofa.
Max then looked at his phone and saw a second message from Richard.
SECOND TEXT MESSAGE ...
Hi Max
Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text message. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the Spell - Checker had changed "Wi-Fi" to "Wife"
Technology huh ... It'll be the death of us 😂😂 ...!! |
Love it .. 🤪 | |
| Beware of the Risen People
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:33 - Sep 21 with 2373 views | theloneranger |
At school I was taught by a wonderful cross-eyed teacher.
But he lost his job - Because he couldn't control his pupils ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 00:50 - Sep 22 with 2321 views | dizietsma |
- I was feeling pretty horny last night mate, but my missus was too busy listening to Lady Gaga.
- Poker face?
- Nah, just had a w**k instead. | | | |
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