Barry Island brings us one last installment of Diarree of Pembrokeshire's Blue

Every now and again there are posts that appear on the forum that can't fail but to make us laugh. Because of the nature of the forum with so many posts per day these can soon get lost in the archives of the web site and so we look to preserve them more prominently at the front end of things. And that is why, Planet Swans and Barry_Island proudly present for you, Diarree of Pembrokeshire's Blue

Deer Jakarmi

We wun the ruddy cup. I told you we wood and by my rekoning that makes it Us 2 ewe 0. neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. I finks that means we can now have free dementional cornor flags at Ninnyun now.

Ewe knows I left ew yesterday morning saying I ad missed the bus. Guess wot. Dai 2 Spunes frettened the droiver with one of his spunes and he turned round and came back for me. Good job he did as well. As I fort I would have to watch ewe against Mansfield last Saturday on Soca Sunday. How did you get on. Ha ha. Don’t seem like that Dorus Drogba in goals for ewe is much good. Chuffed to bitz.

Anywayz wot an eventful day I ad yesterday. When the buss terned up yestaday I was still in me Superteds. Quick chanje and off to Wemberlee. Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. Mam was roit. It cost me eight pownds for a Kit-Kat in the services on the way up.They had run out in the shop there was so so many of us, so I was lucky I was able to bye one from another Cadriff fan. Top boy. Lots of strange looks I had in the services, must have been where my fase had blisterd under this paint,

So on from there to Wemberlee. That is in Lundon. I am telling ew as you wouldn’t know. Alright ew went to the old wun to win the FA trophy for hameteurs but that was in a different place. Like saying York and New York is the same – they are not. Old wemblee woz in a different place like on Dr Woo.

Out of the buss and on to my singings:

“Are ew watching Jack Pasta?”

“That’s why we twelth in the leeg”

Top of my voys just like I had practised. Epic mun. Real Toidee. Ad sum strange looks but vats their problem.

Next fing I knows I sees the presenter from my favurit TV program, Connie Hok being chased along the streets by sum blorks. She is so frytened she is even carrying a fire stick to beat em off. So, I grabz a pen off Dai 2 (I’m real friendly with him now so I can call him that) coz I also wanted her ortergraf and I runs to her assistance. What I didn’t realised was that the lards for a larf had pained “Free Tibet” on the other side of my 01792 Flag. Next fing I knows I’m being piled on by the Old Bob. Shame Connie wasn’t under the pile wiv me. Ha, ha. Luckily it was oright when I explained wot happened but Conny just run off. I didn’t realise she was also from Pembrorkshire as well. Must have been up for the match after having a brake from solving a problem like Mary Ya. Loads of us there, there was. Whats it like to see a croud. Ha, ha. Ew wouldn’t know.

Dai 2 wasn’t so lucky. Fair play he wades in with a fire eggstinguisher to help me and gets charged with having a fencing weapon. Wot do these police know? I’m shure ewe’ll agree with me. Shame he missed the game.

Anyway getz in the grownd, by myself now. First of all I fort I ad gone in the rong end. Not with Conny mind before ew says anyfing like the dirty Jacks ew is. I don’t want ew to think anyfing untoward happened there. No all our boyz wuz giving me the highball. So I went strayt to my seat, made sertin that my flag didn’t show Free Tibet and hung it up behind the gorls. Next fing I knows there’s orl these Baarnsleh fans dressed up as Caridff fans piling in to me. How the police let em stay there and pulled me owt I dunno.

Old Bob then puts me in a posh box with sum bloke woo starts chatting to me ike eze known me all iz life. I torled him to mind his own bizness. Next fing ere’s this cricket umpire shouting at me “Out! Out!” I tells him I’m not even playing cricket. Didn’t help, they put me down by the touchline. I was a bit moufy by now as I had finished my punctured cans of Mangled Spekalightus Brau outside. I shouts out to his blork in front of me coz by now Jim Medley had skawed. “Cheer up ew miserable pasta.” It was only wen everyone terned rownd that I realised it wuz ower manager. Too late by then another pile of Burnnslee supportas dressed as Bulbheds piled me. This time I got chukked out. Gutted I missed us getting presented with the cupp. Still gowing bak agen in 6 wheeks for the Charitee Shiled.

Outside I cooldn’t find my buss as there was no Dai 2 to help me. Luckily there was this bloke in a huje crowd from Neef woo knew where all the buses was going and he put me bak on the rite one.

Boring jurnee home. Desidered to keep me hed down.

That’s why we twelth in the leeg.

Y r we?


Blooooooooooloooo. Toidee.

Speke agen. Orps Dai 2 is out for the Charitee Fingy.

You can view the previous diaree entry here

Photo: Action Images

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