x

The man with no eyebrows...the final chapter...The Damned United revisited

It was certainly a case of being off the Leeds United Gravy Train following our defeat to Derby County on Bank Holiday Easter Monday.

Derby did us 2-1, after the match a grim faced David Haigh was waiting in the tunnel "We need to talk Neil", I could see what was coming.

I stalled him and looked up Clough junior, who was cavorting with his players in the away dressing room. I knew Nige from my Notts County days and said to him "Nige, I think the buggers are about to sack me, in that film about your Dad exactly what did he say? Sommat like it will cost you 25 grand?"

Nigel shrugged "F**k knows Neil, never watched it mate, mum disapproved of the book so there was no chance of seeing the film"

I knew this was a lie because two seasons earlier, Clough made his players walk the last couple of hundred yards to the stadium like in the movie.

Haigh was still waiting for me in the tunnel, again I stalled him cos Yorkshire Radio were waiting for me too and that was Bates's baby so I told Eddie Gray they should look at appointing Redfearn to see if the t**t could do a better job than me! Well I didn't exactly say that but the sentiment was there!

I thought I'd save Mark Hughes name for the papers, me bitter? Ha ha!

Sure enough Haigh announced it was all over. Luckily Sharon was up in Leeds for Easter, so she loaded most of my stuff into her car. I did another quick interview with Sky, said my goodbyes (well to Browny and Paddy at least) and returned for one last look at the cottage that had been my home for a year.

I noticed there were sixteen boxes of gravy granules in the pantry. These came as part of my kit sponsorship deal, one box per month. Luckily I had the good sense to insist the sponsor deliver up front as Sharon and I were planning an event "Sunday Dinner with Neil Warnock" where for just £45 fans could enjoy a Sunday roast and all the trimmings in our barn and meet me as part of the deal.

I thought nothing of it as I loaded them into my Jag before making the long journey south-west.

Three-days later, I was out looking for a new tractor with William to buy with my severance pay when my mobile phone rang. It was Bates. The kit sponsor had gone ape-shit cos they reckoned I owed them back two boxes of gravy as I had not completed my full term as manager.

I got my solicitors to write a letter to Haigh. However that summed up their pettiness and in the end I sent them a cheque for £12.18 to cover the cost of the gravy granules they said were not mine.

My time at Leeds was anything but a ride on the gravy train!

What to read next:

Play forward with purpose - what Mousinho wants to see more of after Pompey's draw at Derby
John Mousinho liked what he saw as Pompey claimed a well-deserved point from rheir visit to Derby.
We can't feel sorry for ourselves - Mousinho message to Pompey strugglers ahead of Blackburn clash
John Mousinho says making wholesale team changes can be 'over the top' - and has indicated he does not want to do that when Pompey host Blackburn in what feels like a must-win game on Saturday.
Swansea City 1 - 0 Portsmouth - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Pompey fans' moans and groans are understandable - so can team silence them?
John Mousinho says some 'moans and groans' from fans are underatandable as Pompey struggle for results and form - so now he wants his team to halt such reactions by getting back on the right Championship path.
Win your individual battles - the message to Pompey players ahead of Bristol City clash
Win your battles - it's what Pompey fans will be demanding of those selected to face Bristol City this weekend - and it's what John Mousinho will be telling each man in blue too.
Portsmouth 3 - 1 Millwall - Player Ratings and Reports
If you saw the match, please give us your player ratings and a mini match report.
Key Pompey trio ready to return - but which of them will walk into starting line-up?
John Mousinho is set to have three key members of his squad available after injury when Pompey entertain Millwall on Saturday - but are all three guaranteed starts?
'Not going to be too negative' - Pack looks on Pompey's bright side
Marlon Pack has played more of a role in Pompey's season so far than many thought he would - and his intention is to carry on being at the centre of things, literally.
Pompey v Stoke is very different to last season - and is chance to improve patchy home form
Pompey's home form has been patchy so far - and John Mousinho knows it's down to his players to get on the front foot and look to redress the balance when Stoke City visit on Saturday.
Solid and pragmatic - Pompey are better on the road, but Leicester is big test
Pompey are a better Championship away team than they were for much of last season.