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Saturday, 26th August 2023 Kick-off 15:00
Colback's grand arrival not enough to prevent latest QPR defeat - Report
Tuesday, 29th Aug 2023 09:57 by Danny Paddox

Once more, you couldn't really fault QPR for effort and performance, but a succession of missed chances cost them any sort of result at Southampton on Saturday. Danny Paddox was there for LFW.

They say it’s best not to have expectations. They also say try not to think of an elephant. What are you thinking of now? An elephant. I don't know who they are but they're bastards

I had the Southampton away fixture in the back of my mind for weeks, months. Filed away in that part of the brain where the expectations and elephants live. Half-time at the first game of the season against Watford standing outside the ground in the sunshine, four down, wondering whether to go back in or not, with the previous night having watched Southampton dance around a Sheffield Wednesday side (albeit with a narrow victory). The expectations appeared on the horizon riding elephants. If we continue playing the way we did at Vicarage Road and Southampton carry on in with Russel Martin's dance of a thousand passes I could be reporting on the club's heaviest ever defeat. This was the most pessimistic of forecasts but nine or ten-nil seemed a possibility. Best not think about it.

Then events, mostly in the transfer window, began to chip away at the terrifying edifice of a ten-nil defeat and sculpt a different expectation. James Ward-Prowse leaves the Saints for West Ham - that's gotta knock it down to a respectable seven-nil. Lavia leaves for the other team in Fulham - five nil? We two dogs of war in Cook and Colback. Cook makes an immediate impact. Ainsworth drops whatever effing strategy or style he attempted at Watford, and guided by the players, the Rs put in a hugely impressive and improved display at Cardiff leaving Wales away with an unexpected away win.

Hell, maybe we'll even score a goal at St Mary's. A plucky 3-1 away defeat is not unfathomable.

The team news for the home side is Nathan Tella has said auf wiedersehen and Che Adams is a no-show. With all the galacticos leaving Southampton they have several debutants including one James Bell. Oh wait a minute - he's the ref. More of that later. For the R’s it’s the same as last week except Jack Colback makes his full debut as our resident no-show Chris Willock is poorly again. On the R’s bench for the first time in a league game is 19 year-old Steven Bala, fresh from scoring a hattrick for the U21 side on Monday against Coventry City. There's plenty of scope for upward mobility in the Rangers squad this season.

Despite the exodus of the Premier league stars from the newly-relegated club and Saints fans concerns about the lightweight starting XI the early pattern of the game starts as expected. Southampton spend most of the first half hour camped out in front of the Rs penalty area playing a tippy-tappy passing game bordering on the attritional. But R's manager Gareth Ainsworth has set up a well-drilled and disciplined 4-5-1 to hold and press Russel Martin's megalomaniac passing tactics. It's light years and a vast improvement from the porous shambles we saw at Watford on day one of the season still a mere three weeks ago. When Saints do penetrate through the hooped defence its generally via the trickery of the two Samuels operating high up left and right of the Southampton 4-3-3. Seventeen year-old Sam Amo-Ameyaw making his first start for the home side has a bright start down the right but it was Samuel Edozie on the left who was to be the thorn in Rangers side for much of the first half hour. After five minutes Edozie, Fandab to his mates, leaves Paul Smyth on his arse and plays a ball through to Saints centre-forward, Adam Armstrong, who, though shown too much room by Rs centre-back Steve Cook, can only hit the side-netting. Fandab again, looking lively tormenting Smyth down the left, chips a cute cross in but fortunately Charley Alcatraz's tame header is easily collected by Asmir Begovic in the R’s goal. You Skate bastard! roar the Southampton crowd to our left. I deduce one of the ports of call in Bego's goalkeeping journeyman career must have been Portsmouth.

The first third of the game proceeds in a similar fashion. Southampton tap tap tap it around deep in the R’s half but Rangers are mostly solid. Colback, Dozell, and Field are all tenacious and on their game for making sure the opposition's relentless short passing doesn't find the room to create a chance on goal. And behind them the new Rs defensive spine Fox, Cook, and Begovic are all focused and unphased. Osman Kakay is also performing well after a shocking pre-season looking much more at home in a back three.

Southampton's short passing is like the drip-drip-drip of water-torture or the click-click-click of someone fiddling with a Rubik's cube. It's mesmeric, designed to make opposition player (and spectator) lose all sense of space and time. It's football rohypnol, and though QPR are mostly focused and impervious to the strategy, sooner or later the constant shifting across to mark the extra-man will create an angle or space for an attacking player to exploit.

Time passes, and still Southampton tap, tap, tap. Minutes, hours, seemingly days go by. Industrial revolutions begin and end. India puts a rocket on the moon and Southampton are still at it. Then of all people, Rs old-boy Ryan Manning, sees an opening. Pass, pass, pass. Click, click, click, the colours on the Rubik's cube finally align. Paul Smyth marginally out of position is beaten by a threaded pass from Manning to Fandab who sprints into the box and fires a shot waist-high to Begovic's left. The keeper should really deal with this but his big gloved, generally safe, hands become two weetabix, weetabix's that have been in the milk too long - soggy and useless. The current number one annoying phrase I keep hearing in football and sport is being the best version of yourself. I like Big Bego as a keeper and I'm glad he's at the Rs but on the half hour mark on Saturday the version we saw of him was a dodgy Stock, Aitken, & Waterman production - the Skate bastard remix. The ball goes through Begovic's gloves. 1-0 Southampton.

How will the Super Hoops react? This game is very much a clash of styles personified by the managers. Tippy-tappy Guardiola-lite Russell Martin versus the humbler pragmatic hoof-tainted Gareth Ainsworth. Usually Rangers would go one-down against more tactically adept opposition away from home and react by crumbling to a heavy defeat. To be honest Rangers of late going one-down against anyone, tactically adept or not, would end up with a heavy defeat. But over the past few weeks, with limited resources and expenditure, the man in the red snakeskin boots has transformed QPR from a woeful bunch of misfits into a sturdier, wily, cohesive unit. The 1967 war-film The Dirty Dozen sees Lee Marvin's character Major Reisman train a bunch of murderers, criminals, and assorted reprobates into a courageous crack military unit with the mission of parachuting behind enemy lines and shooting-up loads of high-ranking Nazis in their own back-yard. Seeing the transformation at QPR at the moment is akin to watching a remake of The Dirty Dozen.

This is what the new QPR did. They went down the other end of the pitch and with their first shot on target after 32 minutes equalised immediately. Paul Smyth, now the torturer and not the torturee, jinks down the right hand side, drops his shoulder, sprints past his marker, and fizzes the ball low into the danger zone. A Southampton defender clears but Jack Colback expertly controls the awkward clearance, gets his knee over the ball, and smacks in a thunderbastard from fully 25 yards out. Last week the ball hit the post at Loftus Road and enjoyed it so much it rolled along the goalline, hit the other post, and went back into play. This week the ball did what it was told, beating the outstretched Bazunu in the Southampton goal, hitting the post, and then hitting the back of the net. Jack Colback, malevolent wotsit - welcome to QPR.

Game on. And it was game on. The R’s didn't shrink back. Minutes later a beautifully flighted cross-field ball from Cook on the half-way line sets up Kenneth Paal on the left of the penalty area. He rolls it inside to Ilias Chair who dances across three Southampton players and whips a shot in. This time Bazunu reaches it with a decent save but Sinclair Armstrong is there at the right time, and in the right place to bury the rebound. Unfortunately he's also offside.

The game and the energy in the stadium had now changed completely. The atmosphere in the capacity crowd had been good from the start and the Rs fans had been on top vocal form but we'd been watching half an hour of tip-tap drip-drab, to you to me football. Now we have a proper game on our hands with action at both ends. There's even a spontaneous chant of Gareth give us a wave. It takes Ainsworth by surprise and he spins around in his technical area, like a startled Max Wall at the London Palladium. He waves enthusiastically - both hands.

QPR keep up the momentum. Armstrong, fed by Kakay, has an attempt on goal. Smyth, set up by Chair, has a shot blocked. Even Steve Cook decides to get in on the action but his shot too is also blocked.

The first half possession stats read Southampton 74% to QPR's 26% but the goal attempts and shots on target tell another story. The Rs leading 6-4 and 3-2 respectively.

The second half carries on as the first half finishes. All QPR. Dozzell under pressure outside the penalty area plays a clever pass inside the box to set up Ilias Chair on the left. Ilias is clear through and should score but Bazunu makes himself big and blocks the effort. Another attack and another chance sees Smyth hits the side-netting. Yet again Rangers on the attack. Ossie Kakay on the edge of the Southampton box wins possession with a block tackle that sends two Southampton players (fairly) up in the air. It’s a manoeuvre Charles Bronson would've been proud of. Bronson's in the Dirty Dozen by the way. Just to keep that analogy going. Not content with that, in the same move Kakay muscles another player out of the way. Then a short pass to Field. Field a short pass to Smyth. Smyth shoots. Crossbar!

QPR were turning their heads furiously and vomiting copious amount of mint-sauce over crucifix-wielding priests but despite all this possession we hadn't taken what would have been a deserved lead. And as the time-honoured rhythms of football dictate - when you have a sustained period of possession creating chance after chance but not making them count the likelihood is the oppo will soon pop up the other end of the field and put one away.

A key factor in this contest were the substitutions available to, and made by, each manager. Previously on 25 minutes, Southampton captain Jack Stephens went off with a twisted/ sprained/ ruptured something or the other. Russell Martin appeared to replace him with Jack Ward-Prowse. It was in fact Jack Ward-Prowse look-a-like Flynn Downes, who as well as sounding like an area of outstanding natural beauty owned by the National Trust, is also a decent midfield player and put in a decent shift today on his club debut. He is a perfect Russell Martin type happy to sit deep and patiently tap the ball around the park and to be fair often in a forward motion. Downes is on loan from West Ham. On 56 minutes, the Southampton manager made a tactical double-substitution. It was fairly like for like. Kate O'Mara for Charley Alcatraz, Ryan Fraser for Sam Amo-Ameyam. Fraser, a Scottish international, was another debutant, on loan from Newcastle. Ideally Ainsworth would have liked to have brought on Jay Stansfield but the young Fulham forward for whatever reason (either QPR's parlous FFP situation or QPR's parlous FFP situation) has ended up at Birmingham City. Ainsworth would bring on the young Albert Adomah for Paul Smyth and replace Jack Colback with his mini-me Stephen Duke-McKenna. Great first start by JC - bombing around getting in the way and making life difficult for the Southampton dream machine. He perfectly complements the already installed Foxy Cookavich triumvirate. And what a goal he put away.

Ryan Fraser came on for Southampton after 56 minutes and played on the left of the front three while Fandab-Edozie switched to the right replacing the youngster Sam Amo-Ameyaw. A strange one I thought as Fandab was their most dangerous player and went quiet after switching wings. Fraser did however bring a new energy to the Southampton attack and he must have taken some part in the 16/17/18 pass manoeuvre that led to the Southampton's second and ultimately decisive goal on 64 minutes. Ryan Manning, the beardy munchkin, was again the chief assist threading through a pacy ball to Adam Armstrong whose first touch and body movement was inspired, feigning to go one way while cushioning the ball slightly away from his body giving him a chance to tee himself up with a clear rasping shot on goal. The first touch bamboozled Kakay and I wouldn't lay any blame on him (or Begovic) for this one. I looked at the notes I'd made during the warm-up "Armstrong, Adam - fat arse goblin - one purple patch for Blackburn - done fcuk all since". There's Karma for ya.

And maybe now's the time to mention Saturday's referee Mr. James Bell of Sheffield. Only his second season in the Championship and his first time officiating QPR (and Southampton for that matter) A man who decided today was the day to reinvent the advantage rule. The Saints winner started from a free-kick given after Referee Bell had played the advantage rule for Southampton which they didn't take advantage of by playing a rare sloppy pass. So Bell blew up and let Southampton have a free-kick for the the earlier infringement. I'm no expert and the laws seemed to be being tweaked every season but I don't think this is how the advantage rule is supposed to work. He did this more than once, maybe up to three times all in Southampton's favour.

A double QPR substitution on 74 minutes (Adomah & Duke McKenna on, Smyth & Colback off) has left Sinclair Armstrong confused as he is still on the pitch. He'd had a decent game up until then. He hadn't found the net but his hold-up play is improving massively and against the seriously experienced Polish international defender Jan Bednarek he more than held his own. He was also up against the seriously inexperienced fcukwit referee James Bell who gave Sinclair nothing all day. On 15 minutes Sinc made up three yards on Bednarek on the left hand side touchline robbed him of the ball and gave himself a clear path to goal. Strength and pace winning out. Referee Bell blows for a foul by Armstrong. That's a bit harsh ref as well as potentially game changing. Minutes later Bednarek pushes Armstromg to the ground. Nothing given. Aah, I see. Anyway 75 minutes on the clock, Sinclair Armstrong is still on the pitch and he's looking disorientated. He's not used to being this deep into a match he and he looks he's got the time bends. Using subtle body-language namely press-ups and hamstring-stretches in the centre-circle he lets the bench know he's had enough and sure enough on 82 minutes Rayan Kolli is brought on. But not for Sinclair. Dozzell is taken off. Ainsworth is going for it in attempt to grab an equaliser. No more Sinclair Hamstrung, he's staying on for the full 90 and more. A word on Dozzell, a very tidy and impressive performance today. Kept it simple, broke up play, and even managed a few intelligent through balls. Not your usual 8/10 but good game. Keep it up please.

Towards the end of the game Saints look more like the team that began the game i.e. in control but there's still only one goal in it and the Rs still look capable of catching Southampton on the break. There will be one chance left. But what's this, Southampton, take a quick free-kick and Ryan Fraser is clean through, one on one with the keeper but Begovic makes a fine save to keep the Rs in the game. Redemption for the first-half howler? Not quite ya Skate bastard. But what on earth? Mr Bell has taken the ball back to give Southampton a free-kick for an earlier infringement - you see he was playing the advantage and because they didn't score they're allowed another go. Then he books Duke McKenna for having the temerity to give as good he gets in a fifty-fifty midfield tussle.

On 87 minutes the stadium announcer announces the Man of the Match and it's Adam Armstrong. Best player on the pitch? It’s debatable if he's even the best Armstrong on the pitch. But he found the net with a decent goal so credit where its due. I think they missed a trick by not giving the accolade to double-assist shithouse-specialist Ryan Manning. That would have really wound the Rs fans up.

So the clock ticks away and we wait for the big reveal - how much time is there to be added-on. At Cardiff and 2-1 up we were hit with 11 minutes. At Southampton 2-1 down we are given six minutes. Six minutes!? Let's add this up: six second-half substitutions, one goal celebration, two stoppages for bookings, three lengthy delays including at least three minutes for Ryan Manning to have his beard groomed and we get six minutes!?

The fabled one last chance materialises. Rangers sends a hopeful ball into the box, a Saints defender clears with a stretched leg but substitute Rayan Kolli, hair billowing behind him like a giant pre-Cambrian sea creature, has made an intelligent run into the left of the penalty area and now finds himself with the ball and a chance on goal, or is it a chance? The ball is at an awkward height around his midriff and he's lost a bit of inertia trapping the thing. He sees Albert Adomah on the edge of the 6 yard box centre of the goal, but Kolli's attempt to square it is weak and nothing comes of it. Meanwhile in a parallel universe called Birmingham, on-loan Jay Stansfield, rumoured to be a QPR target all summer, makes up for having been around the world not and finding his baby, by coming off the bench and finding the back of net to give Brum all three points.

The game at St. Mary's ends minutes later with Steve Cook about to take another long throw after the previous one is cleared back to him. He wipes the ball, steps back, and readies himself classic throw-in pose style and begins to move forward but the referee blows for full time. Cook is apoplectic. I stay watching Cook's reaction. He kicks the ball away and makes a bee-line for the ref. Cook is pointing at the ref, jabbing his finger. He's furious. I try and lip-read what Cook is saying. He's calling the ref by his surname and he's making a reference to the untimely conclusion of the game. "Bell-End Bell-End" I can’t vouch for the complete accuracy of this but Mr Bell-End does wave a yellow card in Cook's face in a manner I would describe as pathetic and impotent. Oh I'm so looking forward to your first game at Loftus Road Mr. B-E.

2-1 the home team, and Saints remain unbeaten with three narrow wins in four. Russell Martin is on the pitch waving at the crowd bounding around like a half-shaved Tweenie. Gareth Ainsworth, still by the technical area, is dejected but proud of his boys. The Rs players genuinely did give their all today, and played with discipline, and guile. But fine margins, it is what it is, and all that jazz. The positives are QPR have come on and improved much much more than I would have expected after the Vicarage Road debacle on the first day of the season. There are now leaders on the pitch (Cook and Colback particularly) and a team spirit to boot, two things that Rs supporters have been bemoaning the lack of for too long now. It's time to build on this and turn these unlucky plucky losses into wins.

Links >>> Ratings and Reports >>> Message Board Match Thread

Southampton: Bazunu 6; Walker-Peters 7, Bednarek 6, Stephens 5 (Downes 25, 7), Charles 6; Manning 6, Armstrong S 5, Alcatraz 4, (Mara 56, 5): Amo-Ameyaw (Fraser 56, 6), 5 Armstrong A 7, Fandab-Edozie 7 (Aribo 83, - )

Subs not used: Lumley, Ballsy-Ketchup, Bree, DJ Eneppo, Doyle, Fraser

Bookings: Manning 11 (foul), Armstrong S 19 (exceeding the Armstrong quota), Alcatraz 29 (Wearing a Woody from Toy Story t-shirt under his shirt), Fraser 92 (foul)

Goals: Fandab-Edozie 30 (assisted Manning), Armstrong, A 64 (assisted Manning)

QPR: Begovic 5; Kakay 7, Cook 6, Fox 6: Smyth 6 (Adomah 74, 5), Dozzell 6 (Kolli 82 - ), Field 6, Colback 7 (Duke-McKenna, 74 5), Paal 6, Chair 6; Armstrong 6

Subs not used: Archer; Clarke-Salter (Let it be known), Larkeche, Dixon-Bonner, Aoraha, Bala

Bookings:Duke-McKenna 87 (Playing football in a built-up area), Field 89 (the usual), Cook FT (Giving the ref a big dollop of truth-juice)

Goals: Colback (self-made)

QPR Star Man - Jack Colback 7 First start for the Rs. Bowled around like he owned the place. Classy goal. Difficult one this as this really was a team effort.

Referee - James Bell (Sheffield) 3 This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Much like the one we have with Keith Stroud. Bell. End. End. Of.

Attendance 30,401 (2,800+ QPR) Superb atmosphere in a capacity crowd mainly due to Rs fans singing their hearts out beginning to end. A mission to get to the game with Trains, Boats, & Dames - train strikes, the biggest fcuking cruise-ship I've seen in my life arriving in port, and the Southampton pride march - all making it a difficult day travelling, driving, and parking wise. And to greet all those that made it to town - a biblical downpour on the walk to the ground. Great to once again be in a big QPR following that was vociferous, behind the team, and not toxic - even in defeat.

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Esox_Lucius added 10:17 - Aug 29
Great report Mr. paddock but no mention of Peroni? the sponsors will be investigating you very closely from now on. ;-)
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Padulas_Shampoo added 10:17 - Aug 29
Lovely stuff Paddox! Particularly Fandab - that had me giggling out loud!
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Dorse added 10:40 - Aug 29
Nice one D. I pictured you in a Planes, Trains & Automobiles-style caper trying to make the match on time, by secretly diverting the Pride March past St Mary's.
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stneotsbloke added 11:01 - Aug 29
Great report Mr Paddox, very close to the legendary standards set by CW.
Much improved performances of late but, to state the bleeding obvious, we need points not "we worked hard and deserved more" stories. Will we have a player whose goal tally reached double figures - doesn't look like it at the moment.
Let's give a shout out to Kakay, he may get caught out a bit too often (as does the otherwise impressive Smyth) but he never gives up and always puts in a really good shift. He's one of ours and I hope he continues to learn and improve,.
Also like the look of Kolli and love his brillo pad in a body scanner hair. Hope he moves his game forward over the coming months.


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Paddyhoops added 11:41 - Aug 29
The Max wall reference was brilliant . Norfesque !!
Fair play to Dozell . Haven’t been his biggest fan but he played well Saturday.
One swallow doesn’t make a summer but credit we’re it’s due.
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sinceApril66 added 12:34 - Aug 29
Thanks for a brilliant report: funny, insightful and loved the Dirty Dozen, Rubiks Cube and Skate Bastard re-mix images, which really brought it to life for me.
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bellomatic added 12:48 - Aug 29
Cracking report, Paddox. As on the pitch, great to see some fresh talent coming through!
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Marshy added 15:00 - Aug 29
Magnificent support in the away end. Shame we couldn’t take our chances. Ref pretty much gave everything Southampton’s way. But the performance gives encouragement that with a bit more luck and ingenuity, we should hopefully be ok this season. This assumes we can get the players out injured fully fit, and not be hampered by further injuries Also, if we can continue to bring forward the youngsters this season, it should bode well for the future.
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thehat added 20:47 - Aug 29

Really enjoyed reading that - Great report thank you!

I didn’t go but great to hear the full away end was all together as one and not a toxic environment.

Gareth says he will get the players giving “everything” and if the do then we are all right behind them win, lose or draw.
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AlexWard added 13:31 - Aug 30
Great report - I haven't been to an away game for a while (well..AFC Wimbledon in pre season but we won't count that). Thought the support in the away end was superb. The game was similar to the Ipswich game, some strong moments (usually involving Sinclair) but not taking chances.
He gets criticised now and then (at times justified) but of the games this season I think Dozzell has vastly improved, it's good to see him at the standard that we expected when first signed and hope it continues. Likewise Ozzy who is obviously enjoying playing as part of the back 3, the run he made at Southampton to try and set up an attack was superb..
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cranieboy added 17:52 - Aug 30
Fantastic stuff - really enjoyed reading this.
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TheCommonHours added 22:37 - Aug 30
Fandabi and the Stanfield reference… superb, and future classics.
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TacticalR added 21:21 - Sep 1
Thanks for your report Danny.

What on earth happened with that first goal? Was the shot harder than it looked? It seemed Begović had it covered, but was just not strong enough to parry the shot.

Our goal was really something out of nothing by Colback.

We weren't able to go ahead when we were on top, and eventually paid the price when Southampton got their second goal. I am not as anti-Russell Martin ball as some, but I agree that in this game Southampton were boring (although their tactics worked).

Very strange the way the ref kept playing advantage and then bringing play back when the advantage didn't materialise. I didn't think advantage was supposed to work like that.
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