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Tartan Skirt Army
at 17:51 25 Feb 2026

Pleased that FIFA have allowed the Scottish to take their furry handbags into World Cup games.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/art

They will have somewhere to keep their tissues.

Thousands of pasty faced gingers who've only seen three hours of sun all year will be on the lash in Miami at the end of June. There's a business opportunity for anyone with a few bottles of aftersun.

ABS

[Post edited 25 Feb 17:55]
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 22:07 23 Feb 2026

I must have watched Pulp Fiction at least five times I could probably quote most of the film.

Some of the acting in Escape to Victory was cringeworthy, but I loved the other three you mentioned.

There is another footy film where the opening scenes were filmed at Layer Road!
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 12:00 23 Feb 2026

Slicker – Barnet, sounds like an advert for Brylcreem (do they still sell that?)

Didn’t realise he was on loan from the Farmers. Hopefully he’ll make their first team soon.
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Former U's (n/t)
at 09:26 23 Feb 2026

I know, Chelmsford, I too was lost for words.
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 08:08 23 Feb 2026

For those lucky enough to be too young to understand any of this:



I can imagine the scenes at the Racecourse Ground must have been similar. Coming from 2-3 down to win 5-3. Good old Parky!
[Post edited 23 Feb 10:47]
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 08:04 23 Feb 2026

I'm guessing it meant something to Norway. 45 years later and you can still buy an amusing Tee-Shirt commemorating the famous night in Oslo.

https://www.redmolotov.com/nor
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 07:59 23 Feb 2026

Using my very best Samuel L Jackson impression "Check out the big brain on Wessex".

As well as playing 11 times for England, 21 year old Osman played POW airman Doug Clure (or possibly Clune) in Escape to Victory.

This clip of his big line "I don't want to go.... let's go back....we can win this" shows why he stuck with football instead of a career in Hollywood.



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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 19:00 22 Feb 2026

In what was probably his most watched game, the score was 4-4, although it should have been 4-5, but for some dodgy refereeing.
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 18:43 22 Feb 2026

In the words of the late, great Meat Loaf, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Mariner was at Plymouth before and after (as manager) and Mills was at Layer Road in our darkest hour.

But who was the airman? He played 294 times for the farmers.

EDIT: Despite loosing to Norway, leaving Romania one point behind us with two games in hand and Hungary two points behind with three games in hand, we still qualified thanks to Switzerland beating Romania away and drawing at home. Mick Mills was England captain in the five games at the finals. It should have been Keegan, but he was injured.
[Post edited 22 Feb 18:55]
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 10:03 22 Feb 2026

One joined the RAF, one became a Pilgrim and the other was at the helm as the ship went down.
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 09:53 22 Feb 2026

Funny enough there were 3 Farmers in the England team that took the original 'beating' in 1981.

Any ideas, without Googling?
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Parky, Parky, what’s the score!
at 19:08 21 Feb 2026

Kieran McKenna….

Cardinal Thomas Wolsey….

Alan Brazil….

Sir Alf Ramsey….

Ralph Fiennes….

Squeaky Ging-ger….

Sir Bobby Robson.…

………today your boys took a hellll-oovvv-aaa beating!
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From Boudica to Barnet: Barbarians at the gate
at 19:03 21 Feb 2026

Amazing result, just what the doctor order and 7 days rest. Hopefully injured players will be able to return soon.

Two especially big games up next.
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A Clean Sweep
at 10:53 21 Feb 2026

Who are the biggest nutters at the WO? The downhill, ski jump and ski-cross are all daring in the extreme, but I take my hat off to the skeleton and luge riders, they must be mental.

The flume at Leisure World used to get my heart racing, but 90mph on a glorified tea tray! I’m not sure if I’d prefer to go head first (skeleton) or feet first (luge).

I would just say that the double luge looks a bit suspect to me, you would want to be very ‘good friends’. You can definitely count me out for that one.

I did see someone suggest that they should have a luge competition ‘it’s a knockout style’ where you stack as many people on the luge as you can and the one that crosses the finish line with the most people wins. Obviously, Arthur Ellis would be there is a jacket and tie to count the number people.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapa
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A Clean Sweep
at 20:20 20 Feb 2026

Essex boy porn

https://philipraby.co.uk/produ
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A Clean Sweep
at 12:12 20 Feb 2026

This is possibly a little off-piste, but I lost my virginity in a Cortina.

I defy anyone to lay claim to being more 'Essex' than that.

EDIT: It was a MkIII 1.6XL Daytona Yellow, with black vinyl roof, spot lights, Webber carb, 8 track and whiplash aerial, she was a beauty, but I don't remember much about he girl.
[Post edited 20 Feb 12:47]
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A Clean Sweep
at 12:10 20 Feb 2026

Anyone watching the Ski Cross, it’s mental.

…. meanwhile back to sliding a bit of rock.
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A Clean Sweep
at 11:44 20 Feb 2026

Well DCI Plod, yes, I can explain how all these documents were forwarded to my Bestie, sorry to the beast.

Apparently, in turns out that the WiFi in Pizza Express Woking is not secure, I’m mean, can you believe it!!!


So that's a cheque for £12M made out to the coppers benevelent fund, who you have never met.

Well that seems to have cleared that up.
[Post edited 20 Feb 11:52]
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A Clean Sweep
at 11:17 20 Feb 2026

I see Ponce Andrew is going for gold in the ‘downhill’.

A natural move for someone who’s been ‘skating on thin ice’ for most of his ‘career’.

It will be interesting to see if he has a ‘skeleton’ in the cupboard.
[Post edited 20 Feb 11:45]
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A Clean Sweep
at 09:58 20 Feb 2026

Genuinely chuffed that the men’s team have made the final, best of luck for a gold, and very well done to the women’s team to get so far.

If we are giving out Olympic medals for non-athletic ‘sports’, just to appeal to us lazy armchair sportsmen, then Ronnie O’Sullivan and Luke Littler should certainly have one.

This has got me thinking. Why not revamp the whole Olympics to better match the modern world. Just image….

Hello and welcome to day two of this year’s ‘Chav’ Olympics, and just a reminder, this year…. Judo has been replaced with Bingo. Weightlifting has made way for Shoplifting and the controversial Break Dancing has been replaced with Line Dancing.

Today’s Schedule:

10:00 The USA are favorites for the mass shooting.

11:00 Jeremy Kyle will be presenting the Rowing.
(No, that’s having a row, arguing, not some posh tw@ts from Oxbridge)

12:00 Outdoor swimming, watch out for Team GB in the turd lane.

13:00 Tovide will be going for another medal in the diving.

14:00 Wrestling starts with ‘Fighting for the TV Remote’.

15:00 More wrestling in the ‘Getting into a boob-tube and skinny jeans that are 3 sizes too small’.

16:00 It’s all action at the ‘toning tables’.

17:00 Shock news that Team GB have been disqualified from the Fencing. 6ft composite panels in ‘Admiral Blue’, complete with trellis, matching patio sofa and patio heaters may be OK in Chelmsford, but it’s not acceptable on the world stage.

18:00 Cycling. No surprise at GB’s latest failure in the pursuit. Once again, the GB Police have failed to catch a single bike thief.

19:00 ….and after yesterday’s shock, when the Italians pulled out after Team GB ordered an ‘Hawaiian’, it’s back to ‘Pizza Eating’.

20:00 We round off the evening with freestyle shagging, where Team Vatican are expected to withdraw at the last moment and don’t be surprised if you see the Greeks at the rear. Team GB’s B@nnie Blue is assured of a medal in the marathon.

No thread about the Olympics can be complete without the joke I first heard many years ago from Billy Connolly….

Two athletes chatting,

The first one says “are you a pole vaulter?”

The second one replies “No, I’m German, but how did you know my name was Walter?”.
[Post edited 20 Feb 10:34]
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