| Lockdown Restrictions Extended In Portsmouth 11:38 - Nov 20 with 578 views | SaintNick |
PORTSMOUTH & SURROUNDING AREAS LOCKDOWN PROTOCOLâš ï¸
PAULSGROVE - you are able to fight your neighbour providing you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to.
LEIGH PARK - burgling homes in your local area is still permitted providing you sanitise before and after the offence. Track and trace technology must also be used.
SOMERS TOWN - you can only visit your dealer when collecting your children from school. The dealer should wear a face visor and make sure all bags are sanitised. Please use a child buggy for transporting large quantities of any recreational pharmaceuticals.
GOSPORT - having sex with your sister is still permitted but you must be home before 10pm and use approved lubricant.
BUCKLAND - Vigilante groups of no more than six allowed outdoors and socially distancing between the hours of 10pm - 2am only. You must wear suitable PPE for any physical contact. All knives should be sterilised prior to use.
PORTSEA/THE HARD - prostitute services are still permitted to remain open, this is now classed as essential services for fear of the economic collapse of the area. Entry from the rear only.
FRATTON - Now declared a NO GO ZONE (in 1984), if you must travel to this area please follow all diversions, traffic cones and signals, remain in your car, do not abandon your car, masks are not required as nothing is open and hasn't been for years.
ISLE OF WIGHT- Everyone must remain at home and self isolate until manufacturers can distribute gloves with 6 fingers. Please do not go to A&E for digit removal as they are a tad busy.
SOUTHSEA - Covid in these parts does not exist, therefore you should carry on as you were, house hopping, social gatherings, drunken parties and fireworks until January are mandatory, Survival of the fittest, we're currently testing 'herd immunity' in these areas.
Stick to these guidelines and we'll get through it together. |  |
| Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime |
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| Lockdown Restrictions Extended In Portsmouth on 11:44 - Nov 20 with 569 views | Chesham_Saint |
Phew! Local paediatricians can at least rest easy from the rampaging hillbilly mobs for a bit then. |  |
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| Lockdown Restrictions Extended In Portsmouth on 13:01 - Nov 22 with 382 views | Berber |
"SOMERS TOWN - you can only visit your dealer when collecting your children from school. The dealer should wear a face visor and make sure all bags are sanitised. Please use a child buggy for transporting large quantities of any recreational pharmaceuticals."
I was in Oslo between lockdowns. Their rules on masks were you had to wear one only if showing symptoms, or were vulnerable. Walking around, the only people who I saw wearing them were young men in black hoodies, on electric scooters dishing out drugs.  |  | | |
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