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Top Ten Facts About Leeds
Top Ten Facts About Leeds
Thursday, 1st Mar 2012 11:13

Another in the award winning series of articles bringing you all the trivia about our next opponents and to prepare you for the grim reality of another trip past Winchester.

1. Leeds main urban subdivision has a population of 443,247 as per the census of 2001 and the metropolitan area in total numbers 798,000 as per 2011, making it the 30th most populous city in the European Union, if you add Bradford to it then the urban population is around 2.3 million, 4th biggest in the UK however in terms of quality of life it is ranked slightly behind a coalmine on the outskirts of Gdansk.

2. The City Variety's Hall used to b the location for the popular 70's TV series, The Good Old Days which for those of you under 50 was a variety show where the musichall bills of the Victorian era where re enacted and people dressed in clothing in style around 80 years earlier, in tribute to the show which ended in the early 80's the tradition of wearing clothing in a style of eight decades earlier has been continued when Leeds play at home when large concentrations of fashion crazy Yorkshiremen gather to show off the latest trends they have just discovered such as flat caps and braces.

3. Leeds is at the cutting edge of popular Music with bands like the Pigeon Detectives, Gang Of Four and The Kaiser Chiefs all being local celebrities to a select few, although the masses prefer more mainstream stuff like Glenn Miller and the James Last Orchestra, both of whom have recently become popular in the City.

4. In a recent survey in was discovered that the most popular pet in the City was a Ferret, closely followed by a Whippet and then Pigeons, Leeds residents also dont tend to give their pets names as they say it makes it harder to eat them during food shortages etc.

5. The Leeds Service Crew was/is a feared gang of Soccer Hooligans, they were noted for their distinct style of dress that tended to be around ten years behind their rival football firms, their trademark Birmingham Bag trousers and three star jumpers marked them out as trendsetters. Their motto was "We might get done but we never run" this was out of neccessity rather than bravado, the average weight of a LSC member was 23 stone with a waist of 42" so running was not really an option, at least not very far, also the obligatory Yorkshire tradition of having a ferret in your trousers further hampered anyone who was toying with the idea of doing one in the face of superior numbers.

6. The majority of residents of Leeds define themselves as Christian, possibly due to its relatively new introduction to the area, the first missionary only arriving in the City in 1957, he was killed and eaten by the residents, however the COE persevered and eventually by 1961 the 7th missionary established the first church in the City, St Ferrets COE. Religion however is not big in the lives of residents, in a recent survey only 43% could recite the Lords prayer compared to a whopping 87% who could recall the entire McDonalds menu (Both breakfast and normal) including the fat content.

7. Skimmed milk is illegal in some areas of Leeds due to its London Media Luvvy type connotations, as is any other type of coffee other than instant, it is the only City in the Western World not to have a branch of Starbucks. Weightwatchers however is well established in the City, for those people who are concerned that their cholesterol levels are dropping to healthy levels.

8. 89% of all Yorkshire residents have never owned a passport, they have never seen the need to leave the County, indeed only 43% of Yorkshiremen/Women (Sorry for this piece of sexual equality, but wanted to be the first ever person to get the words Yorkshire and Sexual Equality in the same sentence) have ever left their native County and 20% of them say it was by accident due to poor signposting on the Ilkley Moor road and it wont happen again.

9. "You can tell a Yorkshireman, but you cant tell him much" is an old saying that rings true today , those of us that travel to Elland Road should bare that in mind if we find ourselves engaged in conversation with the locals, the best course of action is to agree with him on all of his opinions, its a lot more safer in the long run.

10. Most Leeds residents live in a peculiar style of housing called "Back to Back" this takes the traditional Northern terraced house building style a step further by attaching the houses of the street behind to each other, meaning that there is no back yard (no self respecting Leeds person would ever have a Southern invention like a garden, its always a yard) These houses are becoming trendy with the media professionals who are flocking to the City due to the high commissions to be earned selling the Yorkshire Evening Post on the streets of Leeds and therefore are soaring in price and becoming out of the price range of the locals, recently a two bedroom back to back house went for £18,000 although in fairness it did have a fixed bath and hot water.

Photo: Action Images



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WAFLL added 12:57 - Mar 1
All this is bullshit and you can't spell!
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NorthernMonkey added 13:00 - Mar 1
An eleventh fact that you failed to mention is that Leeds has schools in which they teach such things as spelling and grammar allowing for its residents to complete an article online without the need to look a complete dingbat (you should try it pal - then maybe you could tell the difference between a type of cream and a dog. "it's a lot more safer")
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geezershoong added 13:03 - Mar 1
11. They have the most bitter & twisted fans in the country.
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SaintNick added 13:51 - Mar 1
WAFL & Northern Monkey get a sense of humour this was clearly a jokey article
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leeds17 added 14:15 - Mar 1
10 Starbucks in Leeds actually, and only one sad little one in Southampton!
Oh, and we have Harvey Nicks and more top designer boutiques than any other city outside that there London, including Viv Westwood, Paul Smith. Oh and we also have flushing toilets now. Hotel prices are high though as we're the main commercial (accountants and solicitors) centre outside London, so bring some money - that's also why we charge more to come and watch our team, so we don't end up like you did (before your Swiss billionaire baled you out) or Can't Pay Up Pompey.
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SaintNick added 14:31 - Mar 1
You may have 10 starbucks but not one sense of humour between you, oh and by the way I believe there are at least 3 starbucks in Southampton
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5thYorkshireman added 15:40 - Mar 1
I actually did laugh at this - good research... Have the bureaucrats in Brussels moved Southampton under French jurisdiction yet, or is it still a suburb of Portsmouth?
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SaintNick added 15:57 - Mar 1
We ceased to be under french juristiction after Agincourt, we severed ties with Pompey due to the press gang in 1805
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WAFLL added 17:22 - Mar 1
A burglary was recently committed at Southampton's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a red and white carpet.
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SaintNick added 17:34 - Mar 1
Notice how I dont rise to the bait for what was after all one of the oldest jokes in existence, no wonder Leeds hasnt produced many good comedians

Go on regale us with your list of trophys probably from long before you were born, our last trophy was 1976 you got anything newer than that
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NorthernMonkey added 17:50 - Mar 1
I'm guessing winning the league in 1992 would be newer and better than FA cup in 76??? - (which by the way its not only your newest cup ... its your ONLY cup ... EVER)
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YRA1992 added 18:23 - Mar 1
You write a piss-poor article that is supposed to be humerous then accuse WAFLL of trying to bait you...... what is the article trying to do then?

Pot. Kettle. Black.
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StrasbourgSaint added 19:19 - Mar 1
You see, Nick, this is what happens when you write drivel like the above .......

http://www.thescratchingshed.com/2012/03/top-ten-facts-about-southampton/

....... and the grammar is better.

Stick to what you do best, reporting on the game you've just seen.
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ericofarabia added 19:26 - Mar 1
Calm thee down lad, calm thee down lad, calm thee down lad. .... as Harry Enfield might have written had he not chosen 3 scousers instead.

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nobby added 20:43 - Mar 1
Obviously touched a nerve with the Leeds fans...and why start picking holes in everyone's grammar? We're primarily football fans here for a bit of banter not English students. Get a life.
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NorthernMonkey added 23:00 - Mar 1
Nob can't spell either (he's put an extra B & Y at the end of his own name - maybe its a profsessional qualification)
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HillLaneSaint added 00:16 - Mar 2
Come on Nick...how did you leave out the fact that Leeds is a financial services hub. forget London, Hong Kong, New York Leeds is where all the major players are. Let's not forget fashion capital of the north ... When the Mrs asks me to take her shopping to Paris or Milan I will look no further than Leeds for weekend of culture and shopping
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TijuanaTim added 01:06 - Mar 2
Leave those sensitive Northern types alone Nick - you bully!!

There is one good thing to come of there though - the road South FFS
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ericofarabia added 06:48 - Mar 2
http://www.thescratchingshed.com/2012/03/top-ten-facts-about-southampton/

Nice response!! Could they do a belated follow up on their trip to Skatesmuff please!~!
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SaintNick added 08:32 - Mar 2
That could have been a really funny piece if the guy had stuck to the humour instead of getting a bit vitriolic, however several facts made me laugh a lot
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yateleysaint added 12:53 - Mar 2
I went to uni in Leeds.

One of my mates was from Wakey and one of his mates laughed at me once for wearing a t-shirt under a shirt on a night out. Northerners are a bit funny about stuff like that.

I like Leeds.
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Zambucco added 08:35 - Mar 3
Nick you have shamed us ardent Saints fans, how could you forget our magnificent achievement in lifting the JPT. There you go Leeds fans put that in your pipe and smoke it
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leeds17 added 12:22 - Mar 3
Al good fun really, the 'Top 10' is just as likely to show up on every other fansite. Saints should beat us today, but the league has thrown up some odd results all season. I just hope we put on a decent performance and am sorry it's on SKY as we are just starting out on a rebuilding of confidence period and have a month of really hard fixtures that might do little to build that confidence. A single goal loss after an encouraging performance is something I'd settle for, unless Snodgrass can snatch another late winner of course - or may Barndoor Billy Paynter can lumber off bench and enter Leeds folklore by putting one in off his fat arse! If you read this after returning from the game, I hope you managed to spend some time in the city centre to see that it's not all grim up north! Oh, and the stadium isn't THAT dilapided, just the West Stand where the away fans are seated now. The East has had a lot of money spent on it lately (could have been spent on players better though, or better players!). Enjoy the game.
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TimWhelan added 11:40 - Mar 4
There aren't any coalmines "just outside Gdansk", I think you'll find Poland's mining area is in the south of the country, near Katowice. Now that place really is a tip!

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