Gardening Tips
Friday, 12th Oct 2001 00:00

Gardening Tips For Swans Fans

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1) Take one very fertile idea, with a view to widespread cultivation. 2)Form Gardening Society and prepare ground with view to bountiful harvest, with guaranteed provision for the future. 3) Advertise Society membership for like minded gardeners. 4) Form Society group and proceed with sowing of seeds. 5) Rejoice at early results despite onset of cold winds from Black Mountain region. 6) Continue to nurture early encouraging harvest, with new blooms appearing daily. 7) Offer advice and Society backing to cynical rural gardener, but find that he has already sown seeds of doubt over a wide field, apparently covered by a net. 8) Continue to find new blooms appearing daily, despite periods of stormy weather. Numbers of society increase as benefits of membership become obvious. 9) Realise that rural gardener has no realistic tips to offer. Assume this to be reason for cynical approach to gardening Society. 10) Discover that rural seeds sown have however produced weak crop, albeit of sour grapes. Resultant wine does not travel well,and is deemed unpalatable, with an offensive bouquet. 11) Gardening Society membership increases as major crisis looms over future of local green field. Society galvanises other local enthusiastic gardeners into action to ensure long term existence of green field, its staff of loyal well loved servants and its somewhat run down, but equally well loved buildings. 12) The Society and all the loyal servants etc, go on to find that well loved seeds, nurtured in a positive way will continue to provide blooms and pleasant fragrance for generations to come and that the green field continues to attract thousands of visitors on a weekly basis.Provisions are made also to ensure that bad seed, be it homegrow or imported has no place at the green field forever more. This of course is not an EVERYDAY tale of country folk, but.........if the ( flat ) cap fits, as they say !! ( end with this line )

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