| Saturday joke thread 07:12 - Mar 7 with 656 views | janegallagher |
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
Shall I get my coat ? 😃 [Post edited 7 Mar 2020 7:12]
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| Saturday joke thread on 09:14 - Mar 7 with 635 views | Lala |
Oh gosh yes!!! Get your coat 🧥
Guess who I bumped into in Specsavers yesterday???
everyone 🤠| |
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| Saturday joke thread on 09:41 - Mar 7 with 632 views | spudgun |
Two burglars broke into my garage and stole a car battery and a box of fireworks.
The police caught them, and charged one but let the other off... | | | |
| Saturday joke thread on 11:54 - Mar 7 with 623 views | Lala |
Wait till Spell gets in on this one  | |
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| Saturday joke thread on 13:41 - Mar 7 with 615 views | janegallagher |
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I’m here all week 😄🤣😂 | |
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| Saturday joke thread on 14:21 - Mar 7 with 602 views | Lala |
 
My friend dropped all her scrabble letters on the road yesterday.
I said ‘ So then, what’s the word on the street ? ‘ | |
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| Saturday joke thread on 14:30 - Mar 7 with 594 views | BringBackTheRedRoom |
Is this some sort of strange custom north of the Tower I'm unaware of?? First Saturday in March is pull leftover Xmas crackers and read the jokes out aloud. | |
| ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair’ |
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| Saturday joke thread on 14:36 - Mar 7 with 589 views | BringBackTheRedRoom |
When do vampires like racing?
When it’s neck and neck. 😎
My coat is next to Jane's if someone wants to hand me it.... | |
| ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair’ |
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| Saturday joke thread on 15:02 - Mar 7 with 585 views | BringBackTheRedRoom |
My wife rearranged all the herbs in the cupboard.
I asked "how do you find the time?" She said "Next to the sage."
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| ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair’ |
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| Saturday joke thread on 15:07 - Mar 7 with 583 views | spell_chekker |
I've got a great joke about the coronavirus that'll probably kill you.
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| Saturday joke thread on 18:00 - Mar 7 with 574 views | janegallagher |
There’s always one 🤦â€â™€ï¸
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high...........
she looked surprised 😮 | |
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| Saturday joke thread on 18:38 - Mar 7 with 568 views | spell_chekker |
It's a coincidence that you mention a wife.
I haven't spoken to mine for 2 days ...... I don't want to interrupt her. [Post edited 7 Mar 2020 18:38]
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| Saturday joke thread on 18:51 - Mar 7 with 560 views | janegallagher |
Oh so it’s wife jokes
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband." | |
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| Saturday joke thread on 18:58 - Mar 7 with 559 views | BringBackTheRedRoom |
A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did | |
| ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair’ |
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| Saturday joke thread on 15:08 - Mar 21 with 535 views | spudgun |
Went to the theatre last night to watch `Snow White and the six Dwarves`.
- Sneezy was self-isolating.
Please yerself... | | | |
| Saturday joke thread on 15:36 - Mar 21 with 528 views | BringBackTheRedRoom |
One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can't buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she brought in her dog and she got the dog food.
The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can't have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.
Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did. She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you're satisfied can I have some toilet paper please! | |
| ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair’ |
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