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Reply | C'était formidable – Report
at 21:23 26 Oct 2026
True, but October was seen as a very tough month where we had to prove ourselves. We're four games into it, and we've been superb (for my money) in three of those games.
Southampton I don't expect a lot, but if you take four points from Burnley and Lincoln after that then it's a terrific Oct-Nov period. |
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Reply | October
at 17:32 26 Oct 2026
Three of the four October games we’ve been superb IMO. |
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Reply | Clive's Report
at 11:35 26 Oct 2026
Ok...
1 - Notes during the game. Used to be on a bookies slip with one of those little pens they gave you, now on my phone. Depending on Peroni intake these can either be quite insightful or completely illegible come Sunday morning.
2 - Big long conversations/arguments in the Crown afterwards, hear what everybody else thought, man of the match etc. You can listen to these when Jaz does Awaydays podcasts on the Patreon - another one coming from Southampton this weekend. I'll give the match thread and just backs on here a look as well to vibe the situation.
3 - I'll have a listen to Stephan's post match stuff on the tube home. There will often be some sort of interaction with Jack Supple around this time as well, when was the last time the QPR goalkeeper wore a bobble hat etc etc. He's unfailingly polite and useful when I'd probably tell me to pis off cos it's the middle of the night.
4 - Sunday morning- Large bacon sandwich with a lot of sauce and the EFL highlights show. Crop and load the pictures if we've been delivered some (a total ball ache), do all the lay out (the bottom bit with the numbers and links basically) then transfer the notes from the phone into a Word document followed by a couple of watch throughs of our extended highlights to check what I thought happened against what actually happened. I'll have a scan through the stats sites and see if anything stands out - the Edwards and Madsen numbers from West Ham, for example. Have a first throw at some player ratings of my own. These then get modified as the day goes on, by taking in views from the board, looking how the interactive ratings have gone, and visiting the opposition's websites to see who they thought was particularly good or bad for them. Somebody will still inevitably think a 6 for Harvey Vale is outrageous.
5 - My better half and I will then go and have a Sunday together. Usually a long walk or a train ride somewhere and a fat dinner. We like to try and do bits of London, or outside, that we haven't been before. Went to Whitstable last week, it was fcking lovely. There'll be no QPR, or talk of QPR, for the afternoon, but I'll often have a chat with a couple of you off here on the phone to see what they thought, Nick London is often good to bounce things off as we quite often disagree or see things slightly differently, Brian McCarthy is absolutely golden when I'm on the verge of sticking my head in the oven. I get A LOT of WhatsApp traffic on a Sunday morning if we've won 5-0.
6 - Hopefully by the time we get home there'll be an angle there. The angle is the hardest bit. If that isn't there it can be a long night staring at a blank screen (these are the ones that sometimes don't make it until Monday morning). If you see me pacing around Greenwich Park on a Sunday night, that's what I'm doing. Handy if there's an obvious moment from the game to hang it on - the Kieran Morgan last minute winner match report. If not, context angle - set it against what's gone before this season, or a historical comparison. Super power one, I can basically recall every detail of every game this fcking club has played for the last 30 years, so there's almost always one of those you can fall back on - the Jan Stejskal penalty save match report. And if all that fails then just go completely left field - the long night in Prague match report. Super power two - once it's in my head I can spill it onto page stupidly quickly. https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/
7 - Add in the jokes and the popular culture references. There is an enormous and frankly batsht crazy file of all these on my phone, picked up through veracious consumption of books, films and TV, but also I'm blessed with some very funny friends and sit between Simmo and Seann Walsh at the game who are funny fckers. 9/10 times your favourite joke in the report was written by Simmo, who should really be doing it for a living. If it's a longer sketch, like the infamous Kitchen Nightmares match preview...
https://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/
... then that's usually been worked up with a couple of writers James and Josh, about whom you know nothing and we should probably keep it that way but they're fcking brilliant.
8 - CTRL+F, search for "fck" and "cnt" and remove at least half of those or it'll be tea with the Rabbi again (another story). Try and keep the dick jokes and catastrophic Ronnie Edwards horniness down to a dull roar (failed this weekend). I've got a few ticks as well, like saying 'of course' all the time and starting sentences with "but" a lot, so check and make sure there aren't 17 bloody examples of 'of course' in there and then have a 10-15 minute crisis of confidence about what a sht writer I am which can usually be settled down by opening a bottle of wine. Remove any example of treating one opinion from one weirdo on Twitter like it's in any way representative no matter how much it's triggered me (bit guilty of this in the past, Andy/Jeff is trying to coax some personal growth out of me). If we're being critical, seek second and third (and fourth and fifth) opinions before publishing. People get A LOT of WhatsApp traffic from me on a Sunday night if we've lost 5-0.
9 - Proof the life out of it, often after posting because for some reason I see the mistakes a lot clearer on site than I do on Word - so it's often best to read it about an hour after it's posted because it'll change quite a bit sometimes in that time. However thoroughly this is done, I will always wake up to a text from Ozzie Nick about a rogue semicolon. He seems to find this amusing. Post the links on socials once I'm happy with it.
10 - Sweep through the 300/400 emails that have come in for the day job over the rest of that wine so I'm ready to hit the ground running at 6.30 Monday morning.
11 - Sleep. Wake up with an enormous adrenaline pumping anxiety that I've said something I shouldn't have, gone over the top, upset everyone, made myself look a prat etc. Get to laptop ASAP. Sometimes I have, sometimes I haven't.
So, there you go. Sad bstrd? I reckon it's the coolest job in the world.
This post has been edited by an administrator |
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Reply | Man United - You going down with the City
at 09:49 26 Oct 2026
Yeh they're in that really bad perfect storm where...
1 - top, established players won't touch you any more because you're such a joke and they want to be winning stuff and playing regular Champions League.
2 - so you try and buy next tier down and promising younger players, but your scouting/data/analytics doesn't seem to stretch much further than who's had an abnormally good year for Southampton, or what was that name I kept hearing on the TNT Sports midweek goals show? Lo and behold, most of them are fcking crap (Zirkzee).
3 - If you do accidentally stumble on a good un, your due diligence on their personality is non existent, and your club culture and training ground is so rotten that they just immediately tank (Sancho).
4 - Even to get hold of those requires an enormous premium. There's a Man Utd tax on transfers and wages. A player you might sell to Newcastle for £20-30m immediately becomes a £50m-60m players because it's Man Utd buying them. A £100k a week wage becomes £200k. Everyone sees them coming.
5 - You end up just pissing players into a furnace. Some of them might be quite good, might thrive in a better environment, but your team has no identity and no real idea how it wants to play and your dressing room is completely toxic. It's like dropping a glass of fine wine into the North Sea, it's immediately just swallowed up and dissipated among all the sht.
It might actually take a relegation because you essentially need to get rid of every single one of your players (there isn't one I'd keep), you need to get rid of your owners because you're going nowhere with the Glazers leeching and Sir Jim trying to win the league by firing all the secretaries, and you need an entirely new coaching team with a clean and blank slate.
Like you say, it's absolutely glorious. |
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Reply | Big, horrible adverts.
at 22:07 25 Oct 2026
Can you guys tell me what companies, which ads, and where you're seeing it.
Ideally screenshots.
loftforwords@yahoo.co.uk
or Dms |
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Reply | Clive's Report
at 21:05 25 Oct 2026
I massively appreciate you saying that mate, thank you. |
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Reply | Clive's Report
at 20:42 25 Oct 2026
It's nearly there.
Thanks lads.
If you genuinely want me to run you through the 'creative process darling' I'll do that tomorrow, but I suspect it'll be terribly dull and self indulgent. |
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Reply | Our Big Jim
at 20:41 25 Oct 2026
I like that he was annoyed at the end of the Derby game as well. This is what you want from the captain.
I've told this story before, but I was mascot for the Aylesbury FA Cup tie, which was switched from there to Loftus Road.
I had a great day, and I loved it, but there were a couple of things went on. Trevor Sinclair (not playing) gave me Les' shirt, so come 2.50pm Les was in the tunnel topless demanding to know who'd had his shirt away. Then we got out onto the pitch and there were no footballs to warm up with, so I just ended up jogging up and down with Alan McDonald.
Macca was absolutely fuming. Absolutely livid with all of them. I remember him really getting stuck in while Brevett and Sinclair were laughing about Les not having his shirt, and telling them to stop pissing about and pay the game the respect it was due. |
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Reply | Our Big Jim
at 09:01 25 Oct 2026
Loved him revving the crowd up as he went up looking for his hat trick.
I suspect he wasn't thrilled they played that last corner short.
Fantastic bloke and clubman, playing really well. |
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Reply | Julien Stephan
at 08:39 25 Oct 2026
He's come up with superb tactical set ups and executions against the top two sides in the league over the past couple of weeks. Let's see what he's got for Southampton... |
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