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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 91945 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 16:59 - Aug 29 with 13918 viewsEsox_Lucius

I think my best mate is having an affair with my wife... he has been really miserable lately.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

6

Corny Joke Warning on 18:09 - Aug 29 with 13827 viewsSimonJames

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles!

100% of people who drink water will die.

3

Corny Joke Warning on 18:14 - Aug 29 with 13838 viewsAgedR

There was a burglary at the multi story car park last night.

Wrong on so many levels.

Poll: Who do we want out of the way?

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Corny Joke Warning on 18:32 - Aug 29 with 13806 viewsDorse

I sold my vacuum cleaner on eBay. To be fair, it was just gathering dust.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Corny Joke Warning on 19:08 - Aug 29 with 13764 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was attacked by 22/7 of a ship the other day. I think it was Pi-rates.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

1

Corny Joke Warning on 20:01 - Aug 29 with 13691 viewshubble

My grandad had a terrible problem with his back so to try and help relieve the pain my grandma covered it in goose fat. Unfortunately he went downhill really fast after that.
3

Corny Joke Warning on 20:03 - Aug 29 with 13687 viewsflynnbo

I really hate those Russian dolls-they're so full of themselves.
4

Corny Joke Warning on 20:06 - Aug 29 with 13678 viewshorshamHoop

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time
0
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Corny Joke Warning on 20:15 - Aug 29 with 13650 viewsStanisgod

I saw a Man U season ticket nailed to a tree today.
I ran up grabbed it. You can never have too many nails.

It's being so happy that keeps me going.

5
Corny Joke Warning on 20:53 - Aug 29 with 13600 viewsessextaxiboy

Corny Joke Warning on 18:32 - Aug 29 by Dorse

I sold my vacuum cleaner on eBay. To be fair, it was just gathering dust.


My mate got his vacuum cleaner stuck up his backside , he was poorly for a while but now he is picking up nicely...
2

Corny Joke Warning on 21:48 - Aug 29 with 13519 viewscolinallcars

Man says to fishmonger “a piece of haddock please” Fishmonger says “finnan ?” Man says “ no, I'll have that thick bit at the end”
0

Corny Joke Warning on 22:10 - Aug 29 with 13472 viewsqpr85

I was going to tell a joke about a fight, but I couldn't think of a punch line
3
Corny Joke Warning on 22:12 - Aug 29 with 13458 viewsDavieQPR

Corny Joke Warning on 22:10 - Aug 29 by qpr85

I was going to tell a joke about a fight, but I couldn't think of a punch line


I just like going up to the desk in Specsavers and asking for a Big Mac and Fries.
9

Corny Joke Warning on 22:30 - Aug 29 with 13412 viewsRamseyR

My grandparents were actually called Pearl and Dean.
We did not call them that, of course. We call them Grandma and Grand pa pa pa pa pa pa pa-pa-pa pa papa pa paaa.....pa!
10

Corny Joke Warning on 22:32 - Aug 29 with 13409 viewsLblock

I wanted to bet the butcher I could get to the beef on his top shelf before him.

He wouldn't take the bet

Said the steaks were too high

Here for a good time..... not a long time

4

Corny Joke Warning on 00:06 - Aug 30 with 13356 viewsTrom

Told my wife she'd plucked her eyebrows too high yesterday.

She said nothing, just stood there looking surprised.
6

Corny Joke Warning on 01:28 - Aug 30 with 13334 viewsBoston

Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 05:42 - Aug 30 with 13273 viewsenfieldargh

I rang up British Telecom and said: ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said: ‘Not you again."

captains fantastic
Poll: tonights result

5

Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Aug 30 with 13194 viewsEsox_Lucius

An English cat named One Two Three Four was entered into a cross channel swimming race with a French cat named Un Deux Trois Quatre. The English cat won because Un Deux Trois Quatre sank.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

3

Corny Joke Warning on 09:04 - Aug 30 with 13155 viewsdontknowitall

Just back from a supermarket where I saw a car parked over 3 spaces

I'm not sexist so I'm not going to speculate what gender she was.....
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Corny Joke Warning on 10:09 - Aug 30 with 13109 viewsqpr85

Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Aug 30 by Esox_Lucius

An English cat named One Two Three Four was entered into a cross channel swimming race with a French cat named Un Deux Trois Quatre. The English cat won because Un Deux Trois Quatre sank.


Why was six afraid of seven?

Because 7 8 9
2

Corny Joke Warning on 10:19 - Aug 30 with 13089 viewsblacky200

Two flies sitting on a lump of dog crap, one farts and the other one says "do you mind i'm eating my dinner"
1

Corny Joke Warning on 10:40 - Aug 30 with 13044 viewsAshdown_Ranger

Maybe this should be on the 'oldest forum member' thread...

-------


I'm still having sex at 81.

Which is quite handy for me, because I live at number 75.
3

Corny Joke Warning on 10:41 - Aug 30 with 13043 viewsAshdown_Ranger

And a Frankie Boyle joke:


Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot - but look at him now...

An alcoholic and a racist!
3

Corny Joke Warning on 10:52 - Aug 30 with 13024 viewsGalileo

Joined in a pub quiz while on a trip to Liverpool the other week.
For a laugh answered 'The Beatles' or 'Stevie G' to every question.
Came 2nd...
3
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