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Careful Out There - It's On
at 11:42 14 Mar 2018

'Hesquith? Gather up Aubrey, Fauntleroy and Hilarian. It would appear that those oiks from Shepherd's Bush will be in attendance on Saturday'.
Russian Spy In Salisbury?
at 11:19 6 Mar 2018

I think the Russians were able to approach him during the snowy weather when their furry hats wouldn't stand out.
Great Names For A Curry House
at 08:56 26 Feb 2018

Argy Bhaji
Childish But Informative
at 15:28 21 Feb 2018

I always wondered. Now I know.
LFW In The News
at 13:41 17 Feb 2018

Come on LFW, I am outraged! Norf should hang his head in shame. Shame, I tell you!
Air Quotes?
at 10:10 11 Feb 2018

What? No Meltdown?
at 17:27 26 Dec 2017

Really must be the season of goodwill.

(This needlessly provocative message is brought to you by Clive's Offshore Retirement Fund)
[Post edited 26 Dec 2017 17:28]
'Tis The Season
at 13:20 12 Dec 2017

At this time of year, I like to remind my parents that, despite all the careful thought and consideration they put into it, I do not want any presents from them. Because they are just awful.

For example, last year's Marmite-themed storage jar. Or the previous year's variety pack of 'expensive' soaps. Frankly, I can't remember the last time they actually bought me something I want. Seriously, one year they bought me an oven mitt. Not a pair - one.

With that in mind, does anyone else suffer like this?
Voice Of Reason
at 09:33 10 Dec 2017

Gentlemen, I think it is looking increasingly unlikely that we will win the Championship this season. However, this frees us up to concentrate on cup competitions.

Now, many of you will say that this is a nonsense but only last night I dreamed that I was eating a mince pie and just this morning I ate one. Follow your dreams, follow your dreams!

We may not have won but, if nothing else, we came a close second. We have the best kit, apart from the green one, and many of our players have tasteful haircuts. There is much of which to be proud. Even the water pressure in the Ellerslie Road bum-sinks has risen to the occasion.

Let us not talk of defeat. Or even deshoulders, deknees or detoes. The only sack we should be considering is from Santa.
[Post edited 10 Dec 2017 9:34]
Curtis Fleming Takes Gym Session For The Defence
at 18:12 4 Dec 2017

'Good hustle, boys'.
[Post edited 4 Dec 2017 18:13]
Ollie Making His Point
at 14:08 30 Nov 2017

Ollie having a word about his post-match comments and apologising.
'Jack, With Your Face Like...'
at 12:41 9 Nov 2017

I have absolutely no reason for posting this other than it has really cheered me up. I too had a face like 'a disused slot' or a 'methane investigation'. Much better now.
[Post edited 9 Nov 2017 12:42]
Prediction Logged by at 14:36:41
Nottingham Forest v Queens Park Rangers prediction logged
Idle Transfer Speculation
at 14:24 4 Nov 2017

Saw this on WLS about Saman Ghoddos. Can't recall any great buzz around the player from earlier in the season. GetWestLondon, TalkSpurt and HITC seem to be the main sources, so probably bollox regurgitated from the Twittersphere masquerading as news.
Prediction Logged by at 14:30:00
Bolton Wanderers v Queens Park Rangers prediction logged
Prediction Logged by at 14:11:20
Sunderland v Queens Park Rangers prediction logged
Minutes of the Strike Award Committee 29th Sept
at 18:39 30 Sep 2017

Venue: Dog & Handgun Public House, snug
Agenda: Awarding Strike To Mr I Holloway, AOB
Apologies: Big Vern (18 months); Bermondsey Dave (lying low, presumed Costa Brava)
Chair: Frankie 'Ironfist' O'Toole

The chair recognised committee member Maureen Pennis-Elbow who proposed awarding a strike to Mr I Holloway of QPR in response to the team selection and performance. Ray Jinghorn wanted his joke about 'awarding him a striker being a better idea, eh, eh?' noted in the minutes (agreed).
The floor was opened to debate.
Ron Scranus felt that the strike should be suspended in order to provide motivation for the manager.
Cassandra Fuque-Tarde proposed that the strike be delivered but that it should be accompanied by an hour of shouting 'Cuuuuuuuuuunt!' at Mr Holloway in the next game if QPR weren't at least four goals up by half time.
Reggie 'The Face' Barse felt that the strike needed to have maximum impact and proposed attaching it to the front of his car and driving across the training pitch into Mr Holloway. It was further suggested that a copy be attached to the rear bumper so a similar effect be attained by reversing over him. Mr Barse was very passionate about the idea and needed to be resuscitated after bursting several veins his temple. Our thoughts are with his family at this time.

After being put to the vote, the strike was unanimously passed and it was delivered to Loftus Road in person by the secretary Alvin Felcher.

Mr Holloway's response was as follows: 'What the fcuk is this?'

That showed him.
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