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The pointless BBC news item of the day thread
at 19:09 27 May 2020

Chrissy Teigen (me neither) is having her breast implants removed.

Good luck to the girl I say.

Licence fee well spent.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-52819051
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Biden trumps Hilary
at 07:42 23 May 2020

Remember when Hilary decided to perform the master stroke in how to win votes and influence people by labelling half the electorate “a basket of deplorables”? Well that lovable child sniffing old scamp Joe Biden has gone one better by suggesting that if black people consider voting for the other guy “they ain’t black”. Where do they find these people? What a massive tit.

https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-us-canada-52773555
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7 players tested positive already.
at 16:43 19 May 2020

Project Restart off to a flying start.
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“High Speed Car Crash”
at 14:42 16 May 2020

A bombshell report has been published revealing for the first time the shocking and unforeseen reasons for the Lib Dem’s shambolic result in the recent general election.

Who could have imagined that the strategy of marketing Jo Swinson as the next Prime Minister would be an unmitigated disaster? Well this report suggests it was. Shocking I know. We were all convinced she would be next PM so what went wrong?

The report also reveals that Jo Swinson was unpopular amongst the male demographic because of “misogyny and sexism coming into play” but she also saw support from women “fall significantly during the campaign”. I suppose one action to put in place going forward for the Lib Dem’s is to appeal more to men and women. I’m no political strategist by any means but I think this would be a beneficial move.

She also failed to target black and other minority ethnic groups according to the report, and targeted seats where the Lib Dem’s had no presence and no chance of winning based on the over optimism of flawed polls carried out by a Lib Dem activist and failed to do the work in her own constituency.

The anti brexit feeling was also grossly over estimated, and the policy of reversing brexit without a referendum appealed to hardly anybody.

I could have told you all this before the referendum. Why can’t highly paid political strategists and advisors not see this until it’s too late?

If anyone fancies a giggle here’s the link.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/lib-dem-general-election-campaign

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Just to put things in perspective
at 13:56 24 Apr 2020

Have a look at these amazing pictures of hundreds of thousands of galaxies each containing at least a hundred billion stars and rejoice in our complete and utter insignificance.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-52391627
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Benhrama of Brentford
at 16:03 11 Apr 2020

No idea if I’ve spelled his name right or not but he’s posted a video of himself training in isolation but he’s wearing a swans shirt for some reason.

Is he a massive swans fan?
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Breaking the two metre rule
at 09:56 8 Apr 2020

The bear faced cheek of some. What makes them think they’re above the distancing rules?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-52204078
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Boredom isolation quiz
at 10:43 3 Apr 2020

Name these football clubs based on the cryptic clues:

1. Always one hundred
2. A burglars entry
3. Light this when naked
4. This pig has eaten too much
5. The latest fort
6. Where cattle cross the river
7. How’s your dads wife?
8. Roger Moore meets The Queen
9. Shit club full of scummy w*nkers
10. Trundle weighs the same as a duck. What should we do with him?
[Post edited 3 Apr 12:07]
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James McLean again
at 14:30 27 Mar 2020

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Tory member exposed
at 14:17 25 Feb 2020

Apparently heard protesters shouting “Johnson out” and took it literally.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/feb/25/tory-mp-james-grundy-apologises
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Merry Shrove Tuesday everyone
at 12:32 25 Feb 2020

Don’t overdo it with the tossing. And we must remember the true reason for this day as we remember that time Jesus ate so many pancakes he couldn’t fit into his tunic so had to go on a diet for forty days.

The moral is don’t overindulge.
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Terrible news
at 22:04 13 Feb 2020



https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51494849
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Hero of the year award
at 14:57 13 Feb 2020

Congratulations to the official hero of the year, a Mr Slowthai (no me neither), who heroically displayed his heroic heroism by heroically attempting to sexually assault the presenter in a heroic fashion before trying to glass and assault members of the audience. Heroically of course.

What a hero.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-51485561
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Monk and Graeme Jones fisticuffs
at 20:38 12 Feb 2020

Came to blows a few times apparently.

https://www.lutontoday.co.uk/sport/football/luton-town/luton-boss-had-one-or-two
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NHS Wales
at 17:12 23 Jan 2020

The bloke living inside my magic radio box just told me that the figures for the NHS in Wales are the worst on record for the fourth month running. Mark Drakeford needs to use his impressive talents and get to grips with this issue. I’m sure he will because he is a great leader.
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Scan and Go dilemma
at 19:57 19 Jan 2020

Has anybody ever done this at the supermarket? They give you a sort of futuristic scanning device and you scan your own stuff. I tried it for the first time and I thought I’d scanned everything but on checking my receipt it seems I missed quite a few items so I presumably got them for free. Being an honest sort of a chap do I go back in tomorrow and settle up or just let it go?

What would you do fellow Planetswansers?
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F.A.O oddballs and weirdos.
at 10:44 3 Jan 2020

Give Cummings a bell, you could be running the country this time next week.
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Arise Sir Ian Duncan Smith
at 22:42 27 Dec 2019

Knight of the realm. Unless her Maj slips with the sword obvs.
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Hangover tips?
at 10:29 26 Dec 2019

Heads banging. Feel like I’ve spent the night at Caroline flack’s house.
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Referee
at 14:53 12 Dec 2019

Interesting that the ref from last night only lives a few miles from Blackburn. We had a similar situation in the Wigan game where the ref came from that neck of the woods.

I thought this sort of thing was prevented these days. Surely they have enough officials knocking about not to have one virtually from the same area as one of the teams?
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