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i was a typical scrap of east end fluff with a basin haircut in a lee majors tracksuit playing football all day round the back of the prefabs and plashet park. Scuffed knees. Snotty Nose. Bed Bugs. Esso Blue parrafin heaters.
I was headbanging to the 'weekend world' theme tune When my posh aunty marjorie from her penthouse in gidea park comes round to our crumbling, mouldering newham council slum midden in east ham, with her husband, (a Hugh lovegrove jenkins ffs ), bearing gifts for the Co Op stamp mob.
I set my eyes on this huge present , and tear into it like a dead eyed smackhead full of want into a liberated pensioners purse, ravenous for a Muhammad Ali blow up boxing punchbag , a 'Superstriker,' a David Nixon magic hat , a 'Superflight deck' ..even a tommy cooper fuc king golf set.
but no, the chiffon and brushed denim habitat Guardian reading w ankers gave me a fuc king wicker chair. a wicker chair to a football mad 10year old from the east end.
the bastard thing wouldn't have looked out of place Suspended from agent derek flints ceiling. I burst into tears , which was probably the wicked fuc kers intentions.
At least It hasn't marked me in anyway at all.
As for the best Xmas present, it would have to be 'Merlin' , 'rebound', 'Simon' and best of all 'Crossfire' , which you cound detach from the game board and shoot ball bearings at your sister while she watched 'Little house on the prairie'
[Post edited 8 Dec 2023 18:48]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
4
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 18:47 - Dec 8 with 3699 views
I must have been about 8 years old when I was given something I'd been ogling at the toy shop for months. It was a toy machine gun that fired all sort of things - bullets, grenades, the lot. I was in heaven. Then a young cousin got hold of it and dropped it down a long flight of stairs where it lay smashed to smithereens. I was heartbroken.
I played darts with the young cousin later and accidentally threw a dart into his head. Honestly, it really was an accident. He grew up to be Chel*** supporter so I obviously caused severe brain damage.
5
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 19:21 - Dec 8 with 3590 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 18:59 - Dec 8 by dmm
I must have been about 8 years old when I was given something I'd been ogling at the toy shop for months. It was a toy machine gun that fired all sort of things - bullets, grenades, the lot. I was in heaven. Then a young cousin got hold of it and dropped it down a long flight of stairs where it lay smashed to smithereens. I was heartbroken.
I played darts with the young cousin later and accidentally threw a dart into his head. Honestly, it really was an accident. He grew up to be Chel*** supporter so I obviously caused severe brain damage.
Johnny Seven, David?
Deleted crap video.
[Post edited 8 Dec 2023 19:31]
Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
1
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 19:36 - Dec 8 with 3537 views
I got an Oscar Goldman action figure one year. i was really enraged because i obvioiusly wanted the lee majors one. just looked it up it's worth £250 now.! .
i remember getting a 'pockateer' one year a fishing game it was great.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
Mention of the Weekend World theme tune has completely distracted me from the task in hand as requested in the thread Glenn but fcuk it the Mrs is out with 'the girls' and I'm two beers in so lets go on a Nantucket Sleighride......
Think it was 1977 I got my TCR set, happiest lad on my council estate in Aldershot.
3
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:23 - Dec 8 with 3429 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:10 - Dec 8 by Silverfoxqpr
Mention of the Weekend World theme tune has completely distracted me from the task in hand as requested in the thread Glenn but fcuk it the Mrs is out with 'the girls' and I'm two beers in so lets go on a Nantucket Sleighride......
Think it was 1977 I got my TCR set, happiest lad on my council estate in Aldershot.
Me and you tone. lets dance together in the mine field. i think might have to ring you up.
as for political tv theme tunes ; just incredible. cold war, Khmer rouge, JohnBindon, asbestos, joseph mengale, Miners strike..it had it all..
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
5
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:30 - Dec 8 with 3417 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:10 - Dec 8 by Silverfoxqpr
Mention of the Weekend World theme tune has completely distracted me from the task in hand as requested in the thread Glenn but fcuk it the Mrs is out with 'the girls' and I'm two beers in so lets go on a Nantucket Sleighride......
Think it was 1977 I got my TCR set, happiest lad on my council estate in Aldershot.
Had exactly the same reaction!
2
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:37 - Dec 8 with 3406 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:10 - Dec 8 by Silverfoxqpr
Mention of the Weekend World theme tune has completely distracted me from the task in hand as requested in the thread Glenn but fcuk it the Mrs is out with 'the girls' and I'm two beers in so lets go on a Nantucket Sleighride......
Think it was 1977 I got my TCR set, happiest lad on my council estate in Aldershot.
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 20:10 - Dec 8 by Silverfoxqpr
Mention of the Weekend World theme tune has completely distracted me from the task in hand as requested in the thread Glenn but fcuk it the Mrs is out with 'the girls' and I'm two beers in so lets go on a Nantucket Sleighride......
Think it was 1977 I got my TCR set, happiest lad on my council estate in Aldershot.
Not enough songs about “mighty sperm whales” these days.
I got a lovely leather football one year, white hexagons and black pentagons. Mint. Pity it was stamped “The Ch*ls**”.
3
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 21:14 - Dec 8 with 3303 views
Two amazing blazing rows from LFW Christmas past...
We spent one Christmas when we were kids in Ottawa. Mum's best mate Sue married an American guy who was high up at General Motors in Detroit so we'd go over there and stay every couple of years and my brother would smash up their beautiful house. One Christmas we're all sitting round and doing presents and Sue takes her 'main gift' from hubby to unwrap. It's pretty chunky in size and, like I say, this guy is pulling a wedge so it's a big moment. And it was a bread bin.
Similar spirit, more recently, Young North went out with mates for a big night out before the big day, slept in until stupid o'clock, and when mother went to rouse him was told "your present's in the wardrobe if you want it". It was a) unwrapped and b) an ironing board cover.
Honestly, the Marshall Islands reckon they've seen mushroom clouds? They know nothing.
3
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 21:37 - Dec 8 with 3238 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 21:24 - Dec 8 by Northernr
Two amazing blazing rows from LFW Christmas past...
We spent one Christmas when we were kids in Ottawa. Mum's best mate Sue married an American guy who was high up at General Motors in Detroit so we'd go over there and stay every couple of years and my brother would smash up their beautiful house. One Christmas we're all sitting round and doing presents and Sue takes her 'main gift' from hubby to unwrap. It's pretty chunky in size and, like I say, this guy is pulling a wedge so it's a big moment. And it was a bread bin.
Similar spirit, more recently, Young North went out with mates for a big night out before the big day, slept in until stupid o'clock, and when mother went to rouse him was told "your present's in the wardrobe if you want it". It was a) unwrapped and b) an ironing board cover.
Honestly, the Marshall Islands reckon they've seen mushroom clouds? They know nothing.
Hahahaha a bread bin!. that reminds me of a rod stewart story..
He knew he'd made the big time when he hit number one with 'sailing' , his old mum was unimpressed with his career untill he could afford to buy her a bottle of charlie perfume and a bread bin. all the gold discs, the grammys etc etc meant nothing until she got an argos bread bin,
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
1
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 21:59 - Dec 8 with 3204 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 21:24 - Dec 8 by Northernr
Two amazing blazing rows from LFW Christmas past...
We spent one Christmas when we were kids in Ottawa. Mum's best mate Sue married an American guy who was high up at General Motors in Detroit so we'd go over there and stay every couple of years and my brother would smash up their beautiful house. One Christmas we're all sitting round and doing presents and Sue takes her 'main gift' from hubby to unwrap. It's pretty chunky in size and, like I say, this guy is pulling a wedge so it's a big moment. And it was a bread bin.
Similar spirit, more recently, Young North went out with mates for a big night out before the big day, slept in until stupid o'clock, and when mother went to rouse him was told "your present's in the wardrobe if you want it". It was a) unwrapped and b) an ironing board cover.
Honestly, the Marshall Islands reckon they've seen mushroom clouds? They know nothing.
Brilliant!
0
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 22:30 - Dec 8 with 3144 views
Terrible/Fantastic Christmas presents. on 21:57 - Dec 8 by Discodroids
Hahahaha a bread bin!. that reminds me of a rod stewart story..
He knew he'd made the big time when he hit number one with 'sailing' , his old mum was unimpressed with his career untill he could afford to buy her a bottle of charlie perfume and a bread bin. all the gold discs, the grammys etc etc meant nothing until she got an argos bread bin,
One of my brothers gave my mother a microwave. She was 80 something at the time and after looking it over, thanked my sibling for a lovely present.
She put it on the side and used it as a bread bin until the day she died.
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