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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 656971 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 17:01 - Mar 4 with 8909 viewsEsox_Lucius

A lorry load of ballroom dancing costumes has overturned on the M1.

Police are advising motorists to go slow, slow, quick quick slow.

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 22:39 - Mar 4 with 8792 viewsBoston

You know why you can’t get that tune out of your head.....coz you’re wearing a hair band.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 16:20 - Mar 28 with 8617 viewsEsox_Lucius

A plane coming in to land at Heathrow carrying a cargo of "Vanish" has crashed on a town just short of the runway. It's being reported that Staines has completely disappeared!

The grass is always greener.

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Corny Joke Warning on 12:59 - Mar 29 with 8423 viewsBoston

One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Floor.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 01:27 - Apr 3 with 8315 viewsBoston

Why does Bazza always post in Lower Case?

Because he can’t stand Capitalism.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 10:24 - Apr 5 with 8165 viewsToast_R

I bought my girlfriend a vibrator for her birthday. She's done nothing but moan ever since.
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Corny Joke Warning on 14:48 - Apr 5 with 8105 viewsBoston

When billionaires finally give up their private planes due to climate change guilt, will they have become well grounded?

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 20:51 - Apr 5 with 8057 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was up in Yorkshire looking for something to chew whilst doing some online auctioning; yes I needed some E Bay Gum.

The grass is always greener.

0
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Corny Joke Warning on 21:59 - Apr 5 with 8019 viewsBoston

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?


Because they taste funny.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 01:46 - Apr 6 with 7960 viewsBoston

You ‘eard about the population of Ireland?


It’s doublin’.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 14:24 - Apr 12 with 7820 viewsEsox_Lucius

There's a new film coming out in the Bourne series.
A villain clones our hero every 60 seconds.
Its called One Bourne Every Minute.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 14:33 - Apr 12 with 7811 viewshubble

My Dad said, always leave them wanting more. Ironically, that’s how he lost his job in disaster relief.
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Corny Joke Warning on 13:06 - Apr 16 with 7660 viewsEsox_Lucius

A repair man from British Gas asked me the time this morning. I told him, "It is between 8am and 1pm"

The grass is always greener.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 13:11 - Apr 22 with 7468 viewshoopedmonkey

Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on holiday.
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Corny Joke Warning on 13:31 - Apr 22 with 7441 viewsjohncharles

Why didn’t Chris de Burgh cross the road ?
He was happy in the middle
[Post edited 22 Apr 2019 13:32]

Strong and stable my arse.

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Corny Joke Warning on 13:47 - Apr 22 with 7411 viewsFDC

Corny Joke Warning on 20:51 - Apr 5 by Esox_Lucius

I was up in Yorkshire looking for something to chew whilst doing some online auctioning; yes I needed some E Bay Gum.


Why do Yorkshireman rub MDMA round their mouths? Because it's E by gum.
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Corny Joke Warning on 10:23 - Apr 24 with 7279 viewsMick_S

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.
I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.'
He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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Corny Joke Warning on 12:34 - Apr 24 with 7214 viewsFDC

Corny Joke Warning on 10:23 - Apr 24 by Mick_S

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.
I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.'
He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'


Why can't you ever find an aspirin in the jungle?

Because the parrots eat them all.
1
Corny Joke Warning on 12:40 - Apr 24 with 7191 viewsMick_S

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's crosseyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's crosseyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 12:54 - Apr 24 with 7170 viewsNov77

I was watching Countdown with carol vorderman the other day and I got aroused, which is good, as that’s seven letters.

Poll: December goal of the month - vote for your favourite R's goal during December

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Corny Joke Warning on 13:01 - Apr 24 with 7158 viewsjohnhoop

Corny Joke Warning on 12:54 - Apr 24 by Nov77

I was watching Countdown with carol vorderman the other day and I got aroused, which is good, as that’s seven letters.


You should have watched it with Rachel Riley and you’d have got an erection which is eight letters.
1
Corny Joke Warning on 15:00 - Apr 25 with 7003 viewsEsox_Lucius

I have a Russian friend who does the microphone tests for our band before gigs; I have a Czech one too.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 13:07 - May 1 with 6823 viewsEsox_Lucius

There was a woman sat behind me in the Upper Loft last game and I turned to her and said "Can I smell your fanny?"
She replied no, you fücking can't".
I said "It must be your feet then"

The grass is always greener.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 16:25 - May 26 with 6633 viewsBoston

What's blonde and dead in the back of your closet?

The 1984 hide and seek champion.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 16:30 - May 26 with 6625 viewsBoston

Y'know I just discovered the woman next door is stalking me, she keeps googling my name on her computer.

I'm not mistaken, saw it through my telescope last night.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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