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Unbelievable
at 11:19 14 May 2023

why do people think size matters?
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What is wrong with our fan base?
at 10:45 14 May 2023

I think a lot of fans secretly felt the same way. Is the muted reaction a kind of mass PTSD?
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Boycott the Liverpool game
at 10:39 14 May 2023

Oh, I shall happily attend and applaud for they are Saints and that is what the faithful will always do. There may be dark clouds overhead, but SMS will shelter us from the approaching storm with cider and toilets.

The two promotion seasons coming up through League 1 and the Championship were most enjoyable, particularly the away games. Just grateful to the club for trying to create that opportunity again
[Post edited 14 May 2023 10:43]
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The rebuilding starts now
at 10:35 14 May 2023

the club and team have been classified as an Invertebrate
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V. I. P guests
at 09:53 14 May 2023

thought only Ghengis Khan was to the right of the Sunak imp
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Boycott the Liverpool game
at 09:52 14 May 2023

Didn't Boycott beat up his girlfriend?

I will attend the scouse wake if only to stop a plastic fan crapping on my uncomfortable plastic toilet seat in the Kingsland.

It will be nice to wish those with whom I have shared highs and lows a well deserved summer break from the crap served up on the pitch.

It will also be the final funeral march from the Saints Brass which has become the highlight of the game.

Of course I will start the day with breakfast in O'Neills (soft drinks only as they put the cider price up Friday - Sunday). Then on to The Lion for copious amounts of Strongbow whilst discussing total bollux prior to a wander to SMS past the site of the long lost Aviary. Word is the Council sold the Aviary's occupants and guano to the Giddy to improve the food.

After a first half in which the team show total remorse and shame for the past season we will retire to the concourse for another round of ciders providing we can explain to the numpties behind the bar what cider is.

The highlight will be a visit to the foul smelling dungeon called the Gents to deposit said aforementioned cider prior to the glorious climax to the match.

Then the Final Whistle and a trek home leaving the team and plastic scouse peasants to wave two fingers at the much suffering Saints fans

If you do decide to vote with your feet please refrain from washing them for at least a week
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Come on Saint Nick.
at 08:15 14 May 2023

seconded
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Club Statement
at 08:13 14 May 2023

UgandaSaint issued the following statement about what the Club Statement should have said:

We are very sorry for all our cock-ups, but they were made in good faith because we splashed the cash, though maybe on the wrong players.

We realised that McCarthy was not good enough so we recruited Bazunu for £10m, but other goalkeepers around the same price or cheaper included Leno (Fulham), Neto (Bournemouth), Henderson (N. Forest), Johnstone (Crystal Palace), Areola (West Ham) and Dubravka. We admit we made a mistake.

We realised that we needed a top quality striker because Adams is a 10 goal a season striker (at best) and Elyounousi and Adam Armstrong couldn’t hit a barn door at 10 paces. We went for Cody Gakpo and just as he was about to sign he got a phone call from Jurgen Klopp telling him to wait until January. There was nothing we could do, of course we should have had a back up plan in case things went wrong but we forgot. A big striker like Awoniyi might have helped, but again Forest beat us to it. Anyway we spent £70m on Mara, Onuachu, Sulemana and Alcaraz, instead of buying one good experienced striker. We admit we made a mistake.


We wanted Gibbs-White but we thought £25m down with a possible £17m add ons if he won the Golden Boot was a bit much. However as he was Man of the Match against us at the City Ground and we paid £20m for Onuachu maybe he was a bargain. We admit we made a mistake.

Many fans had pointed out that we needed a leader at the back, an experienced centre-back, so we loaned out Jack Stephens and Bednarek. Experienced defenders became available, Ben Mee (free), James Tarkowski (free), Cody Conor (loan), Eric Bailly (loan), Willy Boly (£2m), even our old Matt Target was only £15m, but we decided Salisu and Bella-Kotchap, with Lyanco and Caleta-Car would work out fine. We admit we made a mistake.

With the terrible results at the end of last season most clubs would have sacked Hasenhuttl then, but he promised he would retire soon so why should we give him a pay off when he was going anyway? When things didn’t improve (how could they without a striker?) we checked the statistics and found the best manager in Europe was Nathan Jones. Of course we considered Lopetegui, Unai Emery, Sean Dyche and even Big Sam, but Nathan had better stats. We admit we made a mistake.

When we had lost 7 out of 8 Premier League games, had spent £60m buying the giant striker and two wingers to play the “Nathan” way, we looked at the stats and gave him the boot. Now unfortunately Lopetegui and Emery had been snapped up by two other struggling teams, we’d lost Dyche’s number and Big Sam was on holiday somewhere, so we decided to take the cheap option and promote from within, Selles was our man. Unfortunately he didn’t want to play with 2 wingers and a giant striker, in fact, he didn’t want to play any striker. Now we are relegated. We admit we made a mistake.

Some fans have been suggesting we get Potter or Rodgers to manage next season but we don’t want some old has-been, we are looking for an up and coming manager like Nathan Jones. To help find the right one we are promoting Rasmus Ankersen to Big Boss of Everything because he has learned from his mistakes and promises not to make any more. He has already started looking at managerial statistics for league one and two and has spotted a promising prospect currently managing Portsmouth.
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Just can’t say anything in todays world anymore!
at 22:19 12 May 2023

that's a habit worth breaking
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Southampton V Fulham The Preview
at 12:45 12 May 2023

Sports Republic own the club, you just buy a ticket to be "entertained" for 90 minutes. Why should they care what you think?
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Who will we need in the Championship?
at 12:44 12 May 2023

we could try

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Just can’t say anything in todays world anymore!
at 12:38 12 May 2023

is a "kid" not a young goat.

Or is it wrong to assume people are actually human or wish to be identified as such.

Always wanted to identify as a penguin, wrapper and all
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Steven Gerrard Emerges As Favourite For Southampton Job
at 12:34 12 May 2023

scouse failure, NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Liverpool game now on Ticket Exchange
at 17:05 11 May 2023

have fun and text details of the seats the plastic scouse scum are in to 60060.

Start it SFCREPORT and then include block and seat numbers. Then just sit back as the mickey mouse Response Squad come waddling over to kick them out.

Done it before, satisfying!
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Liverpool game now on Ticket Exchange
at 11:16 11 May 2023

As expected the Liverpool game is now on Ticket Exchange.

How many ST holders will cash in rather than face the season finale farce
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Where has it all gone wrong?
at 08:24 11 May 2023

so very true

still tomorrow is another day (Putin willing) so sod them all, bring on the clowns
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Who will we need in the Championship?
at 13:12 10 May 2023


[Post edited 11 May 2023 11:11]
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To protest or not to protest, that is the question
at 13:07 10 May 2023

... he had been kidnapped by aliens
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Reasons to be cheerful
at 13:05 10 May 2023

what is this fixation on being cheerful? Being cynical and miserable is the British way

Wonder if the players contracts have a Putin Ready Brek clause
[Post edited 10 May 2023 13:09]
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Unacceptable bollox from Selles
at 14:01 8 May 2023

you can guess which motions they are in
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