| 'Tis The Season 13:20 - Dec 12 with 5846 views | Dorse |
At this time of year, I like to remind my parents that, despite all the careful thought and consideration they put into it, I do not want any presents from them. Because they are just awful.
For example, last year's Marmite-themed storage jar. Or the previous year's variety pack of 'expensive' soaps. Frankly, I can't remember the last time they actually bought me something I want. Seriously, one year they bought me an oven mitt. Not a pair - one.
With that in mind, does anyone else suffer like this? |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| 'Tis The Season on 18:07 - Dec 12 with 1636 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
| 'Tis The Season on 15:56 - Dec 12 by Discodroids |
christmas 1976, Ten Years Old. I was a typical scrap of east end fluff with a basin haircut in a lee majors tracksuit playing football allday round the back of the prefabs and plashet park. Scuffed knees. Snotty Nose. Bed Bugs.
I was headbanging to the 'weekend world' theme tune When my posh aunty marjorie from her penthouse in gidea park comes round to our crumbling, mouldering midden in east ham with her husband, (a Hugh lovegrove jenkins ffs ), bearing gifts for the esso blue Mob.
I set my eyes on this huge present , and tear into iT like a junk hungry smack head into a liberated pensioners purse, ravenous for a Muhammad Ali blow up boxing punchbag , a football and nets, a Superstriker, a David Nixon magic hat ..even a tommy cooper fu ckin golf set.
but no, the chiffon and brushed denim habitat wa nkers gave me a fu cking wicker chair. a wicker chair to a football mad 10year old.
the f ucking thing wouldn't have looked out of place Suspended from derek flints ceiling. I burst into tears , which was probably the aspirational fu ckers intentions.
still gets bought up every year at christmas. [Post edited 12 Dec 2017 16:00]
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Bloody great :)
Out of interest, what do you do for a living Disco? |  | | |
| 'Tis The Season on 18:24 - Dec 12 with 1621 views | ted_hendrix |
I've got a collection of 81 pairs of unworn socks and some unused scaffold clips. |  |
| My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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| 'Tis The Season on 18:27 - Dec 12 with 1618 views | Discodroids |
| 'Tis The Season on 18:07 - Dec 12 by Ashdown_Ranger |
Bloody great :)
Out of interest, what do you do for a living Disco? |
Been Working for The probation service since 2009 AR. I've recently dropped to a 3 day week since moving to leigh on sea.
Those 22 years in the square mile nearly killed me!. Poorer but happier ;-) |  |
| "...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn." |
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| 'Tis The Season on 20:17 - Dec 12 with 1552 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
| 'Tis The Season on 18:27 - Dec 12 by Discodroids |
Been Working for The probation service since 2009 AR. I've recently dropped to a 3 day week since moving to leigh on sea.
Those 22 years in the square mile nearly killed me!. Poorer but happier ;-) |
Poorer but happier is good :)
Love the energy, humour, feeling and disappointment in your writing - very evocative. Spelling, punctuation, randomness... the lot! Got to be a column (or a book?) in there somewhere.
Just thinking aloud now... how about a short story/history/whatever in aid of Grenfell - I'll happily produce press-ready artwork and maybe we can get it crowd-funded...
I'll stop rambling now. | | | |
| 'Tis The Season on 23:45 - Dec 12 with 1513 views | PunteR |
| 'Tis The Season on 20:17 - Dec 12 by Ashdown_Ranger |
Poorer but happier is good :)
Love the energy, humour, feeling and disappointment in your writing - very evocative. Spelling, punctuation, randomness... the lot! Got to be a column (or a book?) in there somewhere.
Just thinking aloud now... how about a short story/history/whatever in aid of Grenfell - I'll happily produce press-ready artwork and maybe we can get it crowd-funded...
I'll stop rambling now. |
I'd happily buy Discodroids book. In fact id buy 2 and send him one for a xmas prezzie.. 
Seriously though i think he'd give his hero Irvine Welsh a run for his money. |  |
| Occasional providers of half decent House music. |
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| 'Tis The Season on 07:32 - Dec 13 with 1472 views | smegma |
I think I have the tightest aunt and uncle in the world. When I was 21 years old me and my siblings all received a plastic torch that cost 99p. But the the weirdest thing I received from them was a tie. In 1970. Made out of paisley patterned curtains. The type not seen in Abigail's Party as they would be deemed out of fashion. It came with an elastic to hold it in place around the neck of my first ever Ben Sherman buttoned down. No surprise my uncle is now a millionaire retired in Spain. |  | | |
| 'Tis The Season on 08:50 - Dec 13 with 1454 views | Bluce_Ree |
I can't grumble. I've got fond memories of Xmases past when it comes to presents. I never asked for too much. The odd game or Transformer or something.
The only downside was that my sister used to stay in bed until like 2pm on Xmas day so we ended up getting the prezzies super late in the day.
The odd thing is that as an adult I've rebought some of the things that I got at Xmas that eventually broke. The handheld games Donkey Kong 2 and Pocket Scramble and a ZX Spectrum. Holy shit, I should buy the board game Game of Life. That was a Xmas one.
Xmas is great. Aside from the sweetness of being away from all these work f*cks I also get to eat Chocolate Oranges for breakfast and watch Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Trading Places and Scrooged.
Also, me and the missus don't have kids so we spend all that xmas cash on each other. Fun presents too. Fk your socks and all that shit. |  |
| ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH MARTI THE REDEEMER WHO STRENGTHENS ME. |
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| 'Tis The Season on 09:56 - Dec 13 with 1430 views | Mick_S |
| 'Tis The Season on 08:50 - Dec 13 by Bluce_Ree |
I can't grumble. I've got fond memories of Xmases past when it comes to presents. I never asked for too much. The odd game or Transformer or something.
The only downside was that my sister used to stay in bed until like 2pm on Xmas day so we ended up getting the prezzies super late in the day.
The odd thing is that as an adult I've rebought some of the things that I got at Xmas that eventually broke. The handheld games Donkey Kong 2 and Pocket Scramble and a ZX Spectrum. Holy shit, I should buy the board game Game of Life. That was a Xmas one.
Xmas is great. Aside from the sweetness of being away from all these work f*cks I also get to eat Chocolate Oranges for breakfast and watch Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Trading Places and Scrooged.
Also, me and the missus don't have kids so we spend all that xmas cash on each other. Fun presents too. Fk your socks and all that shit. |
Ted will not be impressed with your last sentence. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| 'Tis The Season on 09:57 - Dec 13 with 1426 views | smegma |
| 'Tis The Season on 08:50 - Dec 13 by Bluce_Ree |
I can't grumble. I've got fond memories of Xmases past when it comes to presents. I never asked for too much. The odd game or Transformer or something.
The only downside was that my sister used to stay in bed until like 2pm on Xmas day so we ended up getting the prezzies super late in the day.
The odd thing is that as an adult I've rebought some of the things that I got at Xmas that eventually broke. The handheld games Donkey Kong 2 and Pocket Scramble and a ZX Spectrum. Holy shit, I should buy the board game Game of Life. That was a Xmas one.
Xmas is great. Aside from the sweetness of being away from all these work f*cks I also get to eat Chocolate Oranges for breakfast and watch Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Trading Places and Scrooged.
Also, me and the missus don't have kids so we spend all that xmas cash on each other. Fun presents too. Fk your socks and all that shit. |
And a Ukrainian Folk Music c.d from that brother of yours?? | | | |
| 'Tis The Season on 18:53 - Dec 13 with 1361 views | FredManRave |
| 'Tis The Season on 20:17 - Dec 12 by Ashdown_Ranger |
Poorer but happier is good :)
Love the energy, humour, feeling and disappointment in your writing - very evocative. Spelling, punctuation, randomness... the lot! Got to be a column (or a book?) in there somewhere.
Just thinking aloud now... how about a short story/history/whatever in aid of Grenfell - I'll happily produce press-ready artwork and maybe we can get it crowd-funded...
I'll stop rambling now. |
That's not a ramble, it´s a very good point well made.
I'd happily read anything he wrote and the longer the piece the better. The guy is a bloody genius.
When I heard he was on twitter and as a consequence being confined to 140 characters per post I was mortified.
Welcome Back DISCO and in the inmortal words of Basily Fawlty to Sir Richard and Lady Morris, "Please stay, you'll like it here". |  |
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| 'Tis The Season on 19:09 - Dec 13 with 1348 views | bosh67 |
My uncle bought me a book about the holocaust for Christmas when I was about 12. |  |
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| 'Tis The Season on 19:39 - Dec 13 with 1330 views | distortR |
| 'Tis The Season on 09:57 - Dec 13 by smegma |
And a Ukrainian Folk Music c.d from that brother of yours?? |
Aha! Gotchya!! | | | |
| 'Tis The Season on 19:40 - Dec 13 with 1329 views | distortR |
| 'Tis The Season on 19:09 - Dec 13 by bosh67 |
My uncle bought me a book about the holocaust for Christmas when I was about 12. |
laughed out loud at that! Gobsmacked!! | | | |
| 'Tis The Season on 19:58 - Dec 13 with 1320 views | Discodroids |
| 'Tis The Season on 19:09 - Dec 13 by bosh67 |
My uncle bought me a book about the holocaust for Christmas when I was about 12. |
hahahahahahahahaha | |
| "...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn." |
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| 'Tis The Season on 09:27 - Dec 22 with 1139 views | Discodroids |
Christmas 1998 , My Mrs at the time bought me a paul oakenfold perfecto fluoro silver flying jacket, perfecto combats and perfecto fluoro aztec man t shirt AND paid to have my hair dyed blue at toni and guy. Top Notch Eclat.
I'll never forget the admiring glances I Received at the alexandra palace xmas eve at a Cream xmas do. I wasn't embarrassed at all when my second Mrs , obviously rassed to sweet heavenly f uck on the micky mills, said in a really loud margo from the good life voice, 'you look really beautiful glenn' , as we stood next to half a dozen coked up pitbull scaffolders from wigan in the fu cking queue. [Post edited 22 Dec 2017 9:27]
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| "...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn." |
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