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When I Die 01:37 - Nov 23 with 2430 viewsBoston

....I want to go peacefully, like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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When I Die on 13:25 - Nov 23 with 2034 viewshoof_hearted

Ignoring the joke so old that Ronnie Corbett would have rejected it...

My friend's dad was 78, had a double cream tea, saw the wind blow a girl's skirt up to reveal a shapely pair of plump buttocks in a thong, went home and had a sleep in his armchair and never woke up.

That's the best death ever.
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When I Die on 13:31 - Nov 23 with 2022 viewsstowmarketrange

When I Die on 13:25 - Nov 23 by hoof_hearted

Ignoring the joke so old that Ronnie Corbett would have rejected it...

My friend's dad was 78, had a double cream tea, saw the wind blow a girl's skirt up to reveal a shapely pair of plump buttocks in a thong, went home and had a sleep in his armchair and never woke up.

That's the best death ever.


Surely it's got be listening to "We are the champions" being played at Loftus Road as we win the Premier League or Champions League.
And not having it interrupted by a speech from briatori.
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When I Die on 13:56 - Nov 23 with 1981 viewsSimonJames

When I Die on 13:31 - Nov 23 by stowmarketrange

Surely it's got be listening to "We are the champions" being played at Loftus Road as we win the Premier League or Champions League.
And not having it interrupted by a speech from briatori.


Mine will probably be a wrecking ball accident caused by lack of concentration whilst excitedly knocking down Stamford Bridge.

100% of people who drink water will die.

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When I Die on 14:48 - Nov 23 with 1912 viewshoof_hearted

When I Die on 13:56 - Nov 23 by SimonJames

Mine will probably be a wrecking ball accident caused by lack of concentration whilst excitedly knocking down Stamford Bridge.


Nice theory but it's going to be happening anyway soon...and replaced by what looks like a beautiful place to watch football. Sad but true...they're in a different stratosphere to us. I'm thinking of hating Fulham and Brentford instead...it's just that I can't fake it!
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When I Die on 15:44 - Nov 23 with 1858 viewsWokingR

When I Die on 14:48 - Nov 23 by hoof_hearted

Nice theory but it's going to be happening anyway soon...and replaced by what looks like a beautiful place to watch football. Sad but true...they're in a different stratosphere to us. I'm thinking of hating Fulham and Brentford instead...it's just that I can't fake it!


Focus man, focus !

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When I Die on 16:09 - Nov 23 with 1830 viewsFDC

I'd like to go in a nuclear war, precipitated by mass climate-migration,a global shift towards nationalist politics, and a failing economic model.

I'm feeling lucky.
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When I Die on 16:11 - Nov 23 with 1820 viewsDorse

I want to be dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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When I Die on 16:13 - Nov 23 with 1808 viewsstowmarketrange

When I Die on 16:11 - Nov 23 by Dorse

I want to be dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.


Plain,milk or white?
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When I Die on 16:13 - Nov 23 with 1807 viewsJAPRANGERS

When I Die on 16:11 - Nov 23 by Dorse

I want to be dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.


Sorry mate, Holloway already bagged that one....
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When I Die on 16:18 - Nov 23 with 1797 viewsDorse

When I Die on 16:13 - Nov 23 by stowmarketrange

Plain,milk or white?


I don't mind which kind of lesbians I get thrown to.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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When I Die on 17:31 - Nov 23 with 1713 viewsCroydonCaptJack

When I Die on 13:25 - Nov 23 by hoof_hearted

Ignoring the joke so old that Ronnie Corbett would have rejected it...

My friend's dad was 78, had a double cream tea, saw the wind blow a girl's skirt up to reveal a shapely pair of plump buttocks in a thong, went home and had a sleep in his armchair and never woke up.

That's the best death ever.


If Carlesberg did deaths.
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When I Die on 17:38 - Nov 23 with 1702 viewsjohncharles

When I Die on 16:11 - Nov 23 by Dorse

I want to be dipped in chocolate and thrown to the lesbians.



Strong and stable my arse.

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When I Die on 17:59 - Nov 23 with 1680 viewsjohncharles

Anyway, when the good Lord comes to call I shall be otherwise engaged.
With two lesbians dipped in chocolate as I watch highlights of the '76 season.

Strong and stable my arse.

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When I Die on 21:52 - Nov 23 with 1544 viewsGloryHunter

It was Bob Monkhouse's gag: "I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers."
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When I Die on 22:45 - Nov 23 with 1495 viewsBrianMcCarthy

A phone-in to the Gerry Ryan show on RTE when I was a kid asked 'where would you like to be buried'. Caller after caller produced well-meaning monotony until...

Presenter: Hello caller, and where would you like to be buried?
Caller: Up to me bollix in B.B. Baskin!

This is her.

[Post edited 23 Nov 2016 23:25]

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

2
When I Die on 22:53 - Nov 23 with 1485 viewsPunteR

I’ve got this horrible feeling. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I’ll come back as me.

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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When I Die on 23:23 - Nov 23 with 1459 viewsBoston

When I Die on 22:53 - Nov 23 by PunteR

I’ve got this horrible feeling. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I’ll come back as me.


Think big, surely every punt can dream of becoming the Titanic?

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
When I Die on 23:32 - Nov 23 with 1443 viewsPunteR

When I Die on 23:23 - Nov 23 by Boston

Think big, surely every punt can dream of becoming the Titanic?


Id rather be a small flat bottomed boat that floats

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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When I Die on 23:52 - Nov 23 with 1434 viewsFredManRave

When I Die on 23:32 - Nov 23 by PunteR

Id rather be a small flat bottomed boat that floats


There could be a thread in there although probably not as popular as the flat roofed pub one.

Still, anything is possible on LFW. A few days ago TacticalR was quoting Joseph de Maistre and then today I'm sure I saw somebody quoting Rodney from Only Fools And Horses!

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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When I Die on 23:53 - Nov 23 with 1431 viewsFDC

When I Die on 23:32 - Nov 23 by PunteR

Id rather be a small flat bottomed boat that floats


Classic football chant
3
When I Die on 00:01 - Nov 24 with 1422 viewsPunteR

When I Die on 23:52 - Nov 23 by FredManRave

There could be a thread in there although probably not as popular as the flat roofed pub one.

Still, anything is possible on LFW. A few days ago TacticalR was quoting Joseph de Maistre and then today I'm sure I saw somebody quoting Rodney from Only Fools And Horses!


Well spotted the Rodney quote.
You've won a t-shirt from the small flat-bottomed boat appreciation society ..

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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When I Die on 00:13 - Nov 24 with 1406 viewsFredManRave

When I Die on 00:01 - Nov 24 by PunteR

Well spotted the Rodney quote.
You've won a t-shirt from the small flat-bottomed boat appreciation society ..


Just got it. Thanks.


I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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When I Die on 00:36 - Nov 24 with 1388 viewsPunteR

When I Die on 00:13 - Nov 24 by FredManRave

Just got it. Thanks.



I couldn't find an Odemwingie in a dinghy one..

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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When I Die on 00:46 - Nov 24 with 1372 viewsFredManRave

When I Die on 00:36 - Nov 24 by PunteR

I couldn't find an Odemwingie in a dinghy one..



I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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When I Die on 13:16 - Nov 24 with 1226 viewsDannyPaddox

When I Die on 13:25 - Nov 23 by hoof_hearted

Ignoring the joke so old that Ronnie Corbett would have rejected it...

My friend's dad was 78, had a double cream tea, saw the wind blow a girl's skirt up to reveal a shapely pair of plump buttocks in a thong, went home and had a sleep in his armchair and never woke up.

That's the best death ever.


Eight and seventy
Cream tease breeze above the knees
Scone smiles eternal


A wonderful story. Brought the haiku out in me.
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