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Things you always say at football 14:30 - Nov 13 with 6939 viewsnix

This is advice I have often given to my kids that I think works more often than not and that I have even been known to shout out at QPR.

- Shoot across the keeper
- Follow the shot in
- Go to the ball rather than let it come to you

Would love to hear other people's favourite football-related sayings to expand my repertoire as my family are a bit bored with mine...
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Things you always say at football on 08:13 - Nov 14 with 1441 viewssuperhoopdownunder

Does anyone remember back in the mid 80's someone in the loft used to shout SHOOT very loudly whenever we got around 30 to 40 yards out from goal?
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Things you always say at football on 08:38 - Nov 14 with 1432 viewsMickS

Things you always say at football on 08:13 - Nov 14 by superhoopdownunder

Does anyone remember back in the mid 80's someone in the loft used to shout SHOOT very loudly whenever we got around 30 to 40 yards out from goal?


I remember that - the bloke had an eastern European accent.
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Things you always say at football on 08:47 - Nov 14 with 1427 viewstraininvain

‘0-0 lads’ (even though we’re winning convincingly) and we used to have a lad at 5 a side who would shout ‘he’s gonna turn you’ throughout the game. Got a bit annoying after a while.
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Things you always say at football on 09:11 - Nov 14 with 1412 viewsNoelmc

Still my own current No 1, even when watching us on a live stream, “FFS, don’t let Barbet take it”.
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Things you always say at football on 10:44 - Nov 14 with 1372 viewsLythamR

We went and sat in SAR for an early cup game a couple of seasons ago and ended up next to a guy who stood up and screamed LEISTNER! at the top of his voice every time Leistner headed the ball which seemed to be every 30 seconds or so in that particular game, it ticked us and we too it back to Upper Loft where it kept us entertained for a few games.

perennial favourite is

SHOOT FFS!

generally followed by

OW NOT FROM THERE FFS!
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Things you always say at football on 11:11 - Nov 14 with 1358 viewsbosh67

At corners and set pieces since 1980...

Mark up!!!!

They've never listened in over 40 years.

Never knowingly right.
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Things you always say at football on 11:34 - Nov 14 with 1338 viewsBrianMcCarthy

"He's all left foot" to your team-mate. Who then gets turned and the man who's all left foot bangs one in from 30 yards with his right.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
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Things you always say at football on 11:39 - Nov 14 with 1332 viewstimcocking

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Things you always say at football on 12:30 - Nov 14 with 1304 viewshantssi

Things you always say at football on 11:39 - Nov 14 by timcocking



That’s just mad!
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Things you always say at football on 12:53 - Nov 14 with 1282 viewsBrianMcCarthy

Things you always say at football on 11:11 - Nov 14 by bosh67

At corners and set pieces since 1980...

Mark up!!!!

They've never listened in over 40 years.


"Calling your names, lads."

This is an elaborate process for defending corners where everyone calls out the number or the name of the man they're marking a split second before they abandon them to head home unchallenged.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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Things you always say at football on 15:22 - Nov 14 with 1232 viewsBoston

Two people stand out to me....

1/. American fella who used to come to football with me, every game the problem with whichever team he was commenting on, “no midfield”.
2/. Mr Driscoll, our football coach at Wembley Manor Primary School, “spread out, you’re like cowboys and Indians, cowboys and Indians!”

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Things you always say at football on 19:36 - Nov 14 with 1186 viewseghamranger

Put it in the onion bag!!
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Things you always say at football on 08:21 - Nov 15 with 1125 viewsGroveR

"Stand him up, Stand him up"

I've been done by a fair few fleet-footed speed merchants in my time and always took this to mean "stay on your feet, goal-side, contain the attack, don't jump in and get roasted like you did last time" - it's actually an instruction to invite your opponent out for a romantic dinner yet not show up at the agreed time, causing them to question their own self-worth and ultimately, ability as a footballer.

"Box it, box it!" - if you're closer to the other team's corner flag than their penalty spot, unload an outswinger into the area for the big man to go and attack. Only poofs played a backwards pass from here until Barcelona and Swansea came along.

"Have a dip" - opposite of the above. If you're within 30yards of goal you're entitled to have a dip, even if you've never scored in training from that range. Taken to extremes by Danny Shittu, who'd have a dip from his own penalty area and still nearly break the crossbar.
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Things you always say at football on 10:51 - Nov 15 with 1077 viewsNW5Hoop

If I never hear anyone in the crowd at QPR shout "Second ball" ever again, I will die happy.
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Things you always say at football on 11:01 - Nov 15 with 1073 viewsBazzaInTheLoft

https://www.itv.com/news/2016-11-30/ian-holloway-teaches-qpr-players-to-check-fo
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Things you always say at football on 13:44 - Nov 15 with 1031 viewsrobith

My dad and I have a little ritual of anytime the oppo miss a chance saying "it's a good job they're shit"
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Things you always say at football on 13:59 - Nov 15 with 1027 viewsTeddRanger

While playing 5 a side “jockey him” “ have a pop”

At Rangers “ No fkin short corners” “ FFS lino”
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Things you always say at football on 15:45 - Nov 15 with 998 viewsPinnerPaul

Things you always say at football on 17:03 - Nov 13 by HantsR

Man on!!
Close him down!
Shoot!!! ffs!!
Why did you shoot? ffs!!


Little known fact number 341, women's teams shout 'Man on' as well!
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Things you always say at football on 15:53 - Nov 15 with 994 viewsPinnerPaul

One that must annoy Mrs Pinner and anyone else who has to listen when we are at KPFS - 'Typical Championship' when one of ours or the oppo put the ball straight out of play under no pressure whatsoever.

I was sat next to a son (about 30) who had been brought along by his Dad - think he said that they don't meet up much - he was actually laughing, when this happened for about the 3rd time in the first 10 minutes of the match - I think he was a typical PL TV fan only and seemed genuinely surprised when I said it was perfectly normal for a game at this level!
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Things you always say at football on 15:56 - Nov 15 with 991 viewsPinnerPaul

Have to add three of my pet hates when officiating

'In the back ref' - whenever ANYONE so much as brushes against an opponent's back

'You have to help him out there lino' - Usually said when I'm about 50 yards from the 'incident' the ref 5 yards and the other 'lino' about 10!

'Foul throw' - shouted after every throw that isn't 'perfect'
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Things you always say at football on 20:39 - Nov 15 with 940 viewsdigswellhoop

OH NO NOT AGAIN
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Things you always say at football on 22:33 - Nov 15 with 896 viewsSydneyRs

"Line, line!!!" at every throw in your own half.
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