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Things you always say at football 14:30 - Nov 13 with 6938 viewsnix

This is advice I have often given to my kids that I think works more often than not and that I have even been known to shout out at QPR.

- Shoot across the keeper
- Follow the shot in
- Go to the ball rather than let it come to you

Would love to hear other people's favourite football-related sayings to expand my repertoire as my family are a bit bored with mine...
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Things you always say at football on 17:47 - Nov 13 with 1453 viewsSharpy36

"Do you think the water pressures getting worse ?"

'You didn't know that was wrong, but now you do. If you do it again, I'll know you are doing it on purpose.'

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Things you always say at football on 17:54 - Nov 13 with 1445 viewsnix

Things you always say at football on 17:03 - Nov 13 by HantsR

Man on!!
Close him down!
Shoot!!! ffs!!
Why did you shoot? ffs!!


Definitely the shoot ffs, why did you shoot ffs*

Delete as appropriate.
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Things you always say at football on 18:07 - Nov 13 with 1426 viewsbollockchops

from the prem to non league youll hear some tit after a corner scream in a girly voice "AWAY"....after a hundred years of football is that the best you can scream,can you tell it really grates ha ha
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Things you always say at football on 18:10 - Nov 13 with 1422 viewsStanisgod

Give it! Give it! Give it!

Left! Left! Left !!

Right! Right! Right!!

It's being so happy that keeps me going.

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Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 with 1412 viewsNorthernr

Things you always say at football on 17:46 - Nov 13 by queensparker

In 5/6 a side - STAY ON YOUR MEN! STAY ON YOUR MEN! STAY ON YOUR MEN!

Basically if you mark well in small sided games (and lose your men while attacking) you're going to do well but you have to keep reminding the lazy c--ts. Maybe I say it too much, I dunno.
[Post edited 13 Nov 2020 17:47]


If there's a better strict man-to-man defence in London small sided football than my Monday lot I'm yet to see it. All deep into our 30s now, regularly schooling fancy flick and trick younger teams 1-0 and 0-0 in dour hours of gruel. Conceded less than a goal a game last season which is quite something for small sided football an hour a game. Wouldn't pay to watch us mind. So far this season 2-0, 2-3, 0-0.
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Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 with 1411 viewsqueensparker

In our six a side league there's a team simply called "Serbia".

Always a lively one that. God knows what they're shouting but probably best we don't know.
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Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 with 1410 viewsNorthernr

Things you always say at football on 16:53 - Nov 13 by Antti_Heinola

The worst one near me is a miserable old sod who spends the entire game shouting

'FOR-WARD' the entire time. Non stop. I have never known anyone moan more than he does, but when we win he does at least look happy.

The 'get out' one is a good one. Every keeper shouts GET OUT or GET IT OUT every time a corner comes over. It just feels like the most obvious advice. I want a defender to just go, 'all right mate, we know what we're supposed to do here. We don;'t shout CATCH IT, CATCH IT at you, do we? Wind it in, pal.'

Don't let it bounce is very popular where I sit too.

I'm a fan of the sarcastic stand up and clap when the ref fails to give a yellow card for a blatant offence and does the old final warning charade, 'well done ref, that'll learn him!'


I think we sit equidistant either side of FORWARD man.
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Things you always say at football on 18:17 - Nov 13 with 1404 viewsqueensparker

Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 by Northernr

If there's a better strict man-to-man defence in London small sided football than my Monday lot I'm yet to see it. All deep into our 30s now, regularly schooling fancy flick and trick younger teams 1-0 and 0-0 in dour hours of gruel. Conceded less than a goal a game last season which is quite something for small sided football an hour a game. Wouldn't pay to watch us mind. So far this season 2-0, 2-3, 0-0.


Haha, we're the same. At 30s/40s it's all we've got left.
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Things you always say at football on 18:33 - Nov 13 with 1382 viewsjtuck

Keeper's Ball!

Shoot!

Man On! (always sounds strange when girl and women footballers shout it to each other)

Found myself as a coach on the sidelines in youth football in USA shouting 'unlucky!' at kids who got off a good shot at goal that narrowly missed. I think they were baffled by that.

In my own pathetic football career ranging from Captain of the C team at Burlington Danes to adult football games in California, I found I was extremely talkative keeping up a stream of hopefully positive comments aimed at teammates like 'good tackle!', 'nice ball!, 'well won!' but may have ended up just as irritating as the guy saying the other team doesn't fancy it.

LAranger

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Things you always say at football on 18:45 - Nov 13 with 1377 viewsNorthernr

Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 by queensparker

In our six a side league there's a team simply called "Serbia".

Always a lively one that. God knows what they're shouting but probably best we don't know.


Played in a Saturday morning team entirely made up of Italians, who took playing out from the back to such extremes they were often passing it around behind me, and I was the goalkeeper. They shouted "SOLO" solo solo solo. solo. solo. solo. all the time. I presume it's their equivalent of TIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE.
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Things you always say at football on 18:50 - Nov 13 with 1373 viewsAntti_Heinola

Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 by Northernr

I think we sit equidistant either side of FORWARD man.


Yep, we do!
I remember he genuinely and without irony shouted during one of our rare big wins, when we were about 4 up. Absolutely incredible man.

Bare bones.

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Things you always say at football on 18:56 - Nov 13 with 1363 viewsNorthernr

Things you always say at football on 18:50 - Nov 13 by Antti_Heinola

Yep, we do!
I remember he genuinely and without irony shouted during one of our rare big wins, when we were about 4 up. Absolutely incredible man.


I genuinely miss him dreadfully. Allen munching his giant plate of chips through every minute of silence. Gazza other side of the aisle taking the pis out of me. Seann behind me precursing every amazing moment we have by screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING...." in my ear.

God I miss it.
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Things you always say at football on 18:57 - Nov 13 with 1362 viewsted_hendrix

"Keep the ball"

"Keep the ball"

"Keep the ball"

"Ave Im"

"Keep the ball"

"Ave Im"

"Keep the ball"

"Oh no"

"I bloody told you"

"Keep the ball"

"Ave him"

"Keep the ball"

"Useless bloody t wats see you next week mate"

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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Things you always say at football on 19:22 - Nov 13 with 1337 viewsKonk

“WHO’S ON 10? WHO’S ON 10? WHO’S ON 10?... oh, for fuc k’s sake, Fulham!”

“BODIES! BODIES! BODIES!” Whenever we break, only to spot that the other ten players are loitering in our own half with zero intention of joining the attack.

“ANYWHERE!” The cry that goes up when we get the ball on the edge of our box and we’re defending a one goal lead from about ten minutes onwards.

“HOME! HOME! NOOOO! YOU FUC KING TWA T!” When a defender is shepherding the ball out, but ends up putting it out for a corner or playing the ball into the path of their centre-forward.

I really miss the football.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Things you always say at football on 19:26 - Nov 13 with 1329 viewsBrianMcCarthy

Things you always say at football on 18:14 - Nov 13 by Northernr

If there's a better strict man-to-man defence in London small sided football than my Monday lot I'm yet to see it. All deep into our 30s now, regularly schooling fancy flick and trick younger teams 1-0 and 0-0 in dour hours of gruel. Conceded less than a goal a game last season which is quite something for small sided football an hour a game. Wouldn't pay to watch us mind. So far this season 2-0, 2-3, 0-0.


One for the 5-a-side:

"Half-way line, half-way line"

Shouted at every outfield player to drop in a line and defend from there but really aimed at the lazy striker who pushes up too far deliberately so he can be bypassed and just stand around while everyone else sweats to win the ball back.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
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Things you always say at football on 19:46 - Nov 13 with 1310 viewsMrSheen

Things you always say at football on 19:26 - Nov 13 by BrianMcCarthy

One for the 5-a-side:

"Half-way line, half-way line"

Shouted at every outfield player to drop in a line and defend from there but really aimed at the lazy striker who pushes up too far deliberately so he can be bypassed and just stand around while everyone else sweats to win the ball back.


Channels! Channels! - Doesn’t have to mean anything but sounds intelligent

I played in a college team who lost every game, though we didn’t let more than 10 in after the first three weeks. My go-to line was, “Never mind the score lads, the next goal’s ours!”
[Post edited 13 Nov 2020 19:48]
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Things you always say at football on 20:05 - Nov 13 with 1296 viewsGuppy

The first pass you see is the best
Let the ball do the work
Play the way youre facing?!
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Things you always say at football on 20:38 - Nov 13 with 1261 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

"You can see what he was thinking"

This can be applied to just about anything.

A bit off topic but we've got a player in our cricket team who insists on telling us that we should be "walking in" for whatever reason.

Any slight loss of concentration - "Walking in, walking in lads"

Ball creamed by batsman flies 50 yards over your head - "LADS, walking in"

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Things you always say at football on 20:41 - Nov 13 with 1263 viewsMyke

I shout all the aforementioned pointless garbage at the telly everytime I watch us play. But I coach my son's team and after hearing Chris Hughton talking about 'playing through the lines' the year Newcastle got promoted, I regularly shout that when we are attacking. I always hope that it will intimidate the oppo coach into thinking that we have a more sophisticated game plan than 'hoof it and run', but the results have been 'mixed' at best.
On the 'out,out' shout at corners;ever since crowds have been banned from games, it is interesting to hear luminaries such as Klopp and Guadiola (or at least their coaching staff) shouting this very advice
For our Over 40's (30's welcome as long as they can prove they were at the same level of unfitness as us oldies)six-a-side, one of my team-mates used to shout 'to your right, Mike, to your right' even if my right shoulder was pinned up against the wire mesh fencing!
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Things you always say at football on 21:15 - Nov 13 with 1216 viewsDannyPaddox

Have to confess I'm also a "triangles!" blurter. On the few occasions I've watched a televised Rs game with my Dad (not a big football fan) he tells me I enter into an animated trance-like state where "triangles", "someone move for him" and "it's a simple game" are the most uttered phrases.
[Post edited 13 Nov 2020 22:39]
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Things you always say at football on 22:34 - Nov 13 with 1163 viewscolinallcars

A couple from the mists of time:

Unload 'im !

Keep it on the island !
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Things you always say at football on 00:42 - Nov 14 with 1115 viewstimcocking

'Hit It!

Can't understand why most players are perpetually scared to shoot.
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Things you always say at football on 01:40 - Nov 14 with 1099 viewskomradkirk

bloke at local game near me always shouted "up the bum no babies" every time an opposition keeper took goal kick.
nobody ever seemed to question it ?
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Things you always say at football on 02:03 - Nov 14 with 1095 viewsFredManRave

This is bollocks, it's 3:30, let's go and get a couple of pints at the bar...

I've got the Power.
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Things you always say at football on 03:27 - Nov 14 with 1073 viewsPlanetHonneywood

When defending a corner: GET IT OOOOUT RANGERS!

When we have a corner (especially in the Barton years (pt. 1) BEAT THE FIRST MAN!

When we have a corner (especially in the Barton years (pt. 2) YOU TOTAL VANKER BARTON! Usually followed by WHAT DO THESE FCUKING CLOWNS DO IN TRAINING ALL WEEK?

'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
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