| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) 11:05 - Mar 22 with 1753 views | NotLoyal |
|  |
| |  |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 11:21 - Mar 22 with 1712 views | ItchySphincter |
Had a trim earlier. |  |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 11:26 - Mar 22 with 1704 views | NotLoyal |
Ok, I’ll kick it off, when I was 17 I contracted flaky bellend from a local lady.
My initial response was to go to the doctors, instead I consulted a good mate called Merlin. He had a similar inflammation ( probably from the same young lady) and he suggested I applied toothpaste which takes the stinging away and redness. He said it works almost immediately.
I went off, bought a tube of SR, yes it was some time ago. The application was simple, in fact rather stimulating. Unfortunately that particular reaction lasted only seconds before a soaring heat and pain engulfed my balls causing them to swell massively ( in these social media times I would have taken a ... selfy) Howover my local Boots didn’t need the ‘ exposure’ It was far from my thoughts.
Local phone box, called Merlin who said that particular reaction was probably down to my blood group and suggested I rub talcum powder on it to reduce swelling.
I went to the doctor and this is absolutely true, he said I had the nicest smelling penis he had ever medicated. He inserted a metal needle in to my bellend, sucked out a load of juice ( with the needle, however at the time the pain was so bad I wouldn’t have minded ) and said I should rest up for seven days and gave me a sick note for my new employer.
Outcome, yes the swelling went down in a few days, and on day 6 my employer contacted me and terminated my job.
Can you imagine if I used sensydyne, true story, fact. I have two others. | |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 12:05 - Mar 22 with 1645 views | Best_loser |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 11:26 - Mar 22 by NotLoyal |
Ok, I’ll kick it off, when I was 17 I contracted flaky bellend from a local lady.
My initial response was to go to the doctors, instead I consulted a good mate called Merlin. He had a similar inflammation ( probably from the same young lady) and he suggested I applied toothpaste which takes the stinging away and redness. He said it works almost immediately.
I went off, bought a tube of SR, yes it was some time ago. The application was simple, in fact rather stimulating. Unfortunately that particular reaction lasted only seconds before a soaring heat and pain engulfed my balls causing them to swell massively ( in these social media times I would have taken a ... selfy) Howover my local Boots didn’t need the ‘ exposure’ It was far from my thoughts.
Local phone box, called Merlin who said that particular reaction was probably down to my blood group and suggested I rub talcum powder on it to reduce swelling.
I went to the doctor and this is absolutely true, he said I had the nicest smelling penis he had ever medicated. He inserted a metal needle in to my bellend, sucked out a load of juice ( with the needle, however at the time the pain was so bad I wouldn’t have minded ) and said I should rest up for seven days and gave me a sick note for my new employer.
Outcome, yes the swelling went down in a few days, and on day 6 my employer contacted me and terminated my job.
Can you imagine if I used sensydyne, true story, fact. I have two others. |
I wonder what merlins treatment for coronavirus is
2 steradent every four hours maybe |  | | |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 15:01 - Mar 22 with 1536 views | WarwickHunt |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 12:05 - Mar 22 by Best_loser |
I wonder what merlins treatment for coronavirus is
2 steradent every four hours maybe |
Remember the ad?
You’ll wonder where your bollocks went
When you wash your knob with Steradent.
Or something. |  | | |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 15:50 - Mar 22 with 1469 views | Highjack |
I turned around too quickly once after getting out from the shower and it smashed through the window. |  |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 16:02 - Mar 22 with 1447 views | sainthelens |
Being asked to participate in the girls relay race in school, passing the baton didn't end well. |  | | |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 16:05 - Mar 22 with 1441 views | Catullus |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 15:50 - Mar 22 by Highjack |
I turned around too quickly once after getting out from the shower and it smashed through the window. |
During a particularly nasty Swansea league game at Maesteg park I copped a deliberatley bad tackle. I ended up in hospital having 6 stitches in my bell end. I was walking like Urko (Planet of the Apes) for 2 weeks and morning glory was a painful time. I still have the scar nearly 20 years later.
Ah FOSCFA, glory days! |  |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:08 - Mar 22 with 1297 views | ymaohyd |
A story not really relevant.
Came back after a 5 nations trip to Dublin to watch Wales, Having a typically 'blockish' conversation with a womanising colleague in work ( I am by no means a 'mans man', I would like to highlight, just going along with it), about his alleged conquests during the weekend, He then talked about a mate of his who (in his terminiology) was shagging an Irish bird when he broke his 'banjo' string!
I replied and never lived it down...'Why the fu ck was he playing a banjo'? |  |
| |
Login to get fewer ads
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:26 - Mar 22 with 1277 views | jack2jack |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 16:05 - Mar 22 by Catullus |
During a particularly nasty Swansea league game at Maesteg park I copped a deliberatley bad tackle. I ended up in hospital having 6 stitches in my bell end. I was walking like Urko (Planet of the Apes) for 2 weeks and morning glory was a painful time. I still have the scar nearly 20 years later.
Ah FOSCFA, glory days! |
Kin ell mun  |  | | |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:30 - Mar 22 with 1270 views | Swanjaxs |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:08 - Mar 22 by ymaohyd |
A story not really relevant.
Came back after a 5 nations trip to Dublin to watch Wales, Having a typically 'blockish' conversation with a womanising colleague in work ( I am by no means a 'mans man', I would like to highlight, just going along with it), about his alleged conquests during the weekend, He then talked about a mate of his who (in his terminiology) was shagging an Irish bird when he broke his 'banjo' string!
I replied and never lived it down...'Why the fu ck was he playing a banjo'? |
Done my banjo twice in 6 months.
Second time required urgent medical treatment.
Virtually bled out 😫 |  |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:53 - Mar 22 with 1237 views | dickythorpe |
My mate "ripped his chord" aka "banjo string" whilst "boning" in the dark......he was reaching out for the light switch and when lights went on he said it was like a murder scene blood all over the bed clothes, floor and bloody hand prints on wall where he'd been trying to find the lightswitch.
Have any of you "snapped" your old boy? i.e when a lady rides you far too exhuberantly and crashes down on you at an agonising angle. |  | | |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 21:01 - Mar 22 with 1225 views | Swanjaxs |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:53 - Mar 22 by dickythorpe |
My mate "ripped his chord" aka "banjo string" whilst "boning" in the dark......he was reaching out for the light switch and when lights went on he said it was like a murder scene blood all over the bed clothes, floor and bloody hand prints on wall where he'd been trying to find the lightswitch.
Have any of you "snapped" your old boy? i.e when a lady rides you far too exhuberantly and crashes down on you at an agonising angle. |
Never happened to me but I suppose the size of the lady is critical in this situation.
The more svelte like the lady the better I suppose.
Perhaps 15 stone of flesh crashing down on you manhood in the "vinegar stroke" stage would cause some problems  | |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 22:25 - Mar 22 with 1159 views | Catullus |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:26 - Mar 22 by jack2jack |
Kin ell mun |
I can share some more of the gory details if you like? 
Many blokes would like to have nurses deperate to come and examine your penis....not in this case! | |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 22:44 - Mar 22 with 1145 views | JACKMANANDBOY |
Many years ago but I remember as if it was yesterday bowling a half volley just outside an off stump, off balance on my follow through, I was struck by an Exocet in the worst place possible.
It took me about 30 mins to get off the pitch and two days before I could move around. |  |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 22:48 - Mar 22 with 1143 views | Catullus |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 22:44 - Mar 22 by JACKMANANDBOY |
Many years ago but I remember as if it was yesterday bowling a half volley just outside an off stump, off balance on my follow through, I was struck by an Exocet in the worst place possible.
It took me about 30 mins to get off the pitch and two days before I could move around. |
It's not easy walking when your testicles are the size of grapefruits. Which is knowledge I wish I didn't have  | |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 23:14 - Mar 22 with 1120 views | BrynCartwright |
Apart from a mild dose of thrush in the late 80's my testes and Hampton have always been kept in tip-top condition.
I find a good slathering of E45 or Sudocrem gives good relief to any temporary troubles down below, but unfortunately some ladies demand payment to administer it. |  |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 10:26 - Mar 23 with 1002 views | NotLoyal |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 20:53 - Mar 22 by dickythorpe |
My mate "ripped his chord" aka "banjo string" whilst "boning" in the dark......he was reaching out for the light switch and when lights went on he said it was like a murder scene blood all over the bed clothes, floor and bloody hand prints on wall where he'd been trying to find the lightswitch.
Have any of you "snapped" your old boy? i.e when a lady rides you far too exhuberantly and crashes down on you at an agonising angle. |
Beautifully put. | |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 10:41 - Mar 23 with 981 views | WarwickHunt |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 22:44 - Mar 22 by JACKMANANDBOY |
Many years ago but I remember as if it was yesterday bowling a half volley just outside an off stump, off balance on my follow through, I was struck by an Exocet in the worst place possible.
It took me about 30 mins to get off the pitch and two days before I could move around. |
Half volley outside off stump? You deserved it.😂 | | | |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 10:48 - Mar 23 with 966 views | builthjack |
In my youth I was seeing someone, and she had a coil fitted. Well I kept shifting the coil.
Morning after pill a few times.
The downside of being a big boy I guess. |  |
| Swansea Indepenent Poster Of The Year 2021. Dr P / Mart66 / Roathie / Parlay / E20/ Duffle was 2nd, but he is deluded and thinks in his little twisted brain that he won. Poor sod. We let him win this year, as he has cried for a whole year. His 14 usernames, bless his cotton socks.
|
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 10:50 - Mar 23 with 965 views | JACKMANANDBOY |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 10:41 - Mar 23 by WarwickHunt |
Half volley outside off stump? You deserved it.😂 |
Yes, useless bowler me, snail of a batsman as well. | |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 11:56 - Mar 23 with 927 views | theloneranger |
I knew someone many years ago who went home with a young lady who was very adventurous when they went to bed. Anyway she was digging her long nails into the cheeks of his arse when she suddenly inserted her finger into his ring piece as far as it would go. ðŸ˜
When it was all over he thought how painful his arse was when he walked and even worse when sitting down. He saw this young lady looking at her finger and she passed comment that her false nail was missing ... Yes that finger 😠He checked his arse in the mirror, and blood was running out, so it was off to A&E.
Then his problems started with A&E reception.
"What is the problem??".
" My arse is bleeding "
"When did it start, and have you noticed anything unusual??"
" This morning, and I think it's a nail"
" You sat on a nail?? "
"No, it's a fingernail"
"Your fingernail Sir"
" No, it's a girls fingernail "
"Do you know how it got up there??". 😂😂😂
" Ummmmmmmm"
As you can imagine the whole of A&E was falling about laughing until someone in the queue noticed all the blood on the floor. He was suddenly rushed into a room, knocked out and woke up with a ring piece feeling like a volcano.
After spending nearly all day and night in hospital, a young female doctor sat on the edge of his bed and explained that if he wanted to carry on anal fingering to find someone who didn't wear false nails 😂😂
As he was leaving, she shouted to him, "Do want your nail back??"
 |  |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
| |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 13:20 - Mar 23 with 875 views | sainthelens |
| What’s the most damage you have ever done to your penis / vagina (n/t) on 11:56 - Mar 23 by theloneranger |
I knew someone many years ago who went home with a young lady who was very adventurous when they went to bed. Anyway she was digging her long nails into the cheeks of his arse when she suddenly inserted her finger into his ring piece as far as it would go. ðŸ˜
When it was all over he thought how painful his arse was when he walked and even worse when sitting down. He saw this young lady looking at her finger and she passed comment that her false nail was missing ... Yes that finger 😠He checked his arse in the mirror, and blood was running out, so it was off to A&E.
Then his problems started with A&E reception.
"What is the problem??".
" My arse is bleeding "
"When did it start, and have you noticed anything unusual??"
" This morning, and I think it's a nail"
" You sat on a nail?? "
"No, it's a fingernail"
"Your fingernail Sir"
" No, it's a girls fingernail "
"Do you know how it got up there??". 😂😂😂
" Ummmmmmmm"
As you can imagine the whole of A&E was falling about laughing until someone in the queue noticed all the blood on the floor. He was suddenly rushed into a room, knocked out and woke up with a ring piece feeling like a volcano.
After spending nearly all day and night in hospital, a young female doctor sat on the edge of his bed and explained that if he wanted to carry on anal fingering to find someone who didn't wear false nails 😂😂
As he was leaving, she shouted to him, "Do want your nail back??"
|
Anal fingering | | | |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
