| More to life 08:17 - Aug 14 with 30916 views | mart_Goblin |
Monday the 10th August was supposed to be a new adventure and an exciting new chapter in my family’s life. After a whole summer of huge stress looking for a new place to rent and having no joy due to legislation that came in on May 1st that was supposed to help renters , but actually crippled us and our individual financial situation, we had finally found somewhere to call home .
This was turned on its head whilst loading the 3rd van load of stuff from old flat to new, when my beautiful wife had a catastrophic stroke.
It’s hard to describe that feeling of helplessness and terror that you feel when this happens to a loved one and hard to comprehend the terror they must be feeling .
It was a major bleed on the brain. But when we went in on Tuesday to see her in the acute stroke unit. She greeted us with a smile and asked “I’ve been waiting for you, where have you been?”
She had no movement in her left arm and her speech was mumbled and quiet but you could just about understand her.
I left on Tuesday feeling happier and upbeat that she will be ok.
When we arrived Wednesday she was completely different.
She barely acknowledged us . She couldn’t open her eyes .
She remained asleep .
Yesterday morning I was called to the hospital urgently.
She’d had another stroke, this time a blood clot .
She was rushed to Charing Cross to have life saving surgery .
We got to see her briefly late last night as she was placed in an induced coma.
Next week will be her 49th birthday .
This post isn’t about sympathy. It’s mainly about 3 things.
Firstly , myself, my step daughter and my wife’s mother have a large support unit of wonderful family and friends . But somehow writing things down to me is therapeutic and lets me get some of this out of me in a way that I can’t explain . I don’t really do social media . Odd Instagram post but I’ve given up on it really. So this board and network feels like a sort of home to me .
Which leads me to point 2.
Life is more important than bickering about Nourry, Sir Les, Mbengue, Paul Smyth or whoever .
It just doesn’t matter on the grand scale of things . We all share different views so don’t get to irate and angry with each other .
On the flip side , this club really really important to some people . Rangers are a lifeblood to many .
So , if this IS your passion then we should all try to understand that too . This is a great board full of insight and different people, spearheaded by one of the best football writers in the land .
Apparently it’s taken some pot shots from other people recently.
Defend this board . It’s played an important role in all our lives to some degree .
And lastly , I need to learn and start gathering info on how on Earth I come to terms with what’s happened and the future , whatever that is , that lies ahead for us as a family .
The process of trying to help the paralysis on her left side is now secondary. It’s now about keeping her alive . Some of you must have gone through similar or know people who have, so any advice or knowledge that can be passed over will be a lot of help to me . I’ll be given leaflets and phone numbers , I know . But hearing real accounts , however good or bad will help just as much to how I go forward . DM me if you’d rather .
I will check later to see if there have been any advice given in reply to this but I’m not really thinking about Rangers right now.
Late last night as I trudged sorrowfully around Sainsburys, buying stuff just for myself which in itself broke my heart , a guy stopped me (I had a QPR top on of sorts) and he wanted to talk about last Saturday. I politely explained that I was busy preparing to move home so didn’t go and briefly told him what happened since .
This guy stood and chatted to me about his own health issues , how he knows what I’m going through and offering a hand of friendship he offered to be there if I needed him.
Never met him before . But our link was this wonderful club .
That’s the bond . So have opinions and have them with passion , but never forgot that we are in this together. QPR fans .
So thanks Eddie. You gave me hope when I felt like I had none .
Mart
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| More to life on 10:40 - Aug 15 with 3293 views | OakR |
I don't have any advice but wishing your wife all the best in her recovery Mart, and Ted and Ned wishing you all the best also. |  |
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| More to life on 11:28 - Aug 15 with 3174 views | SunnyVanGo |
Heartbreaking and powerful.
Love to all. |  | | |
| More to life on 12:56 - Aug 15 with 3034 views | BlackCrowe |
| More to life on 10:14 - Aug 14 by numptydumpty |
Crikey Mart - that is so so difficult to deal with for you especially and all your family too. My heart goes out to you and I do sincerely hope your wife pulls through and makes a full recovery.
There is a national charity called Stroke Association. I volunteered for them for a few months, back in 2016, when was out of paid work for a period.
They had Stroke Co-ordinators who ran self help groups for the people themselves affected and also for partners or close family members. They used to visit people in hospital and show ways and techniques for people to increase their chances of recovering fully from paralysis etc. They have an online community and have local offices up and down the country. They can help with possibly linking up to financial assistance also if needs be now I believe.
Anyhow, there is a lot on their website.
https://www.stroke.org.uk
This part of the website shows a variety of different ways they can help.
https://www.stroke.org.uk/stro
It can help a little, being around others facing similar circumstances whether in person or online. Can understand it feels extra difficult when it can feel a very isolating situation to deal with.
And yes, QPR, Nourry, Smyth falling over is all absolutely completely totally irrelevant when these things happen. Am as guilty as anyone for over reacting on here and in the scheme of things, it all means absolutely diddly squat in all reality.
The main thing though Mart, I seriously hope your wife makes a full recovery as soon as. Absolutely, one hundred percent, wishing you all well. [Post edited 14 Aug 10:18]
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Wishing you all the very best possible outcome. |  |
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| More to life on 17:49 - Aug 15 with 2870 views | digswellhoop |
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 | | | |
| More to life on 18:03 - Aug 15 with 2862 views | LeedsR |
So sorry to hear of your news Mart. And thank you for being so open and honest. All I can do is echo the love and support for you, your Mrs and your family. Hang in there mate. Love and prayers to you and yours, and definitely make some space for yourself in what must be a whirlwind of emotion and pain.
The Rs can be a supportive bunch too, avail yourself fully of it. |  | | |
| More to life on 14:04 - Aug 26 with 2329 views | PlanetHonneywood |
How are our three fellow Rfosi doing? |  |
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| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 with 2273 views | ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |  |
| My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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| More to life on 14:24 - Aug 26 with 2243 views | loftboy |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Bloody hell Ted, met you numerous times only due to this website. Don’t have the right words for you other than to say it was a pleasure to have met you in person . Stay strong my friend. |  |
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| More to life on 14:27 - Aug 26 with 2217 views | Lblock |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
No words
You made your mark fella..... go easy and all the very best to you. [Post edited 26 Aug 14:33]
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| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| More to life on 14:30 - Aug 26 with 2199 views | dmm |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Ted, I've no words either. Just wanted to say, I hear you. Keep talking. |  | | |
| More to life on 14:36 - Aug 26 with 2168 views | OakR |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Ted, we've never met but your name is synonymous with this site.
Not sure what to say but no doubt you are one of the most popular people on here. | |
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| More to life on 14:47 - Aug 26 with 2075 views | westberksr |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Ted
I'd missed this thread as I'm rarely here these days.
Devastated to hear this news for you, the Mrs and the boys. Having been to a few games with you I can confirm to all that you are just such a sound and lovely guy, the online persona is just as you are in the flesh.
My best ever QPR day, at Wembley, was spent with you and the boys and my dad and will forever be a great memory to cherish. I even recall meeting in the co-op car park in Newbury to collect tickets.
Sending, for whatever it's worth, a massive hug buddy
Stuart |  | | |
| More to life on 14:49 - Aug 26 with 2070 views | westberksr |
Mart
hoping for the very best possible outcome for your wife and family. I'm late to the game on this but you are in my thoughts. | | | |
| More to life on 15:23 - Aug 26 with 1958 views | thehat |
I have been away and only just read this post.
Sending all my love to you and your wife Mart.
The whole QPR family are right behind you mate.
Also read in the replies Ted's dreadful news - There are no words Ted but again I hope you know the whole QPR family are with you pal.
The Hat xx | | | |
| More to life on 15:23 - Aug 26 with 1943 views | Sonic_Hoop |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Really, really sorry to hear that Ted, I've got no words either. |  | | |
| More to life on 15:27 - Aug 26 with 1926 views | ARudd |
Mart
So sorry to hear this.
You asked for personal experiences and advice, so two small things from me.
First, my father had a stroke and went from being incoherent and unable to move to a full recovery, so there are many stories of progress out there.
Second, do not forget yourself. As someone who has dealt with my own mental health issues, I realise now (thanks to good therapy) that ignoring my emotions and how I felt to be everyone else first (in my head at least) was a significant contributing factor to where I ended up.
In the midst of all you are going through that will be very far from your mind, but please, as time goes by, be kind to yourself- it’s best for everyone.
xxx | | | |
| More to life on 15:47 - Aug 26 with 1853 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
Beyond words, Ted.
Really feel for you and your loved ones. I am sure we all hope that despite what lies ahead of you, Team Ted can find the strength required and that you also find happy times to fondly recall together.
I'm sure you will deal with in your own inimitable way, and that whatever happens, 'it' won't beat your spirit.
Big hug fella!! | |
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| More to life on 15:57 - Aug 26 with 1807 views | Konk |
Really sorry to hear what you and your loved ones are going through, chaps.
Mart - I hope you're holding in there and that your wife makes a full recovery.
Ted - That is such awful news. I hope you're not in too much discomfort and that looking back on what always sounds like a very full life, provides you with some laughs and happy recollections.
Take care and I hope that Rangers are able to go on a nice winning streak for you both. |  |
| Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts |
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| More to life on 16:56 - Aug 26 with 1655 views | terryb |
I'm another one that can't find any worthwhile words Ted.
Only that you & your family have my best wishes, as do Mart & Ned. | | | |
| More to life on 17:25 - Aug 26 with 1596 views | Fearless |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
So sorry to hear this awful news Ted.
Long time since we’ve met up, but I always enjoyed our chats
Thinking of you and your family (such inadequate words)
Ian |  | | |
| More to life on 17:39 - Aug 26 with 1535 views | DejR_vu |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
That’s dreadful news, Ted.
Having never met, we’re technically strangers, but it doesn’t feel like it. I hope you and your family are as okay as can be expected under the circumstances.
Mart, I have everything crossed for you, hoping for the best outcome possible. | |
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| More to life on 17:54 - Aug 26 with 1477 views | PunteR |
Just catching up on all this. Just such sad news all round.
Love and peace to all, dealing with the heavy stuff.
I cant really find the right words atm Ted, but I hope you're not in too much pain mate. Xx |  |
| Occasional providers of half decent House music. |
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| More to life on 17:55 - Aug 26 with 1465 views | JamesB1979 |
| More to life on 14:19 - Aug 26 by ted_hendrix |
I've now been given 2-4 Months, just waiting for the Nurse visit, you get just that bit more sicker each day.
I'll deal with It. |
As above, I don’t know what to say. So sorry Ted, stay strong mate. | | | |
| More to life on 18:03 - Aug 26 with 1429 views | hubble |
Only just seen this thread. Mart, you have my deepest sympathy and I wish your wife all the very best and obviously hope she recovers.
Ted, wow, bless you mate. Don't know you, but I've always thought you were one of the good ones x |  |
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| More to life on 18:05 - Aug 26 with 1425 views | Hooping_Mad |
Only just seen this thread, Thoughts with Mart and Ted.
Just don't know what to say. | |
| Chairman of the Junior Hoilett appreciation society |
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