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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 89157 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 15:53 - Sep 16 with 3133 viewsEsox_Lucius

A Leeds fan walks past a shop & sees the video "Leeds - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop & asks how much." £100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come its so dear?". "Well its a tenner for the video & £90 for the Betamax machine to play it on !!!

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

3

Corny Joke Warning on 16:11 - Sep 16 with 3115 viewsEsox_Lucius

I asked my wife if she fancied trying something out from the Kama Sutra.
She said "No thanks, you know curry gives me bad guts".

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 16:44 - Sep 16 with 3100 viewsade_qpr

When it's stiff, stick it in
It goes in dry and comes out wet
The longer it's in, the stronger it gets
It comes out dripping and starts to sag
Please don't have your minds in the gutter
It's only a tea bag.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 18:51 - Sep 16 with 3043 viewsBoston

For our American fan base......

What do George Washington, Martin Luther King and Christopher Columbus have in common?

They were all born on holidays.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 18:54 - Sep 16 with 3041 viewsBoston

Did ya hear about the bald geezer who got a comb for a birthday present?

Said he'd never part with it.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 23:13 - Sep 16 with 2980 viewsCliveWilsonSaid



Kew Pier, Kew Pier, Kew Pier
Kew Pier, Kew Pier, Kew Pierrr-er
Kew Pier, Kew Pier, Kew Pier
Kew Pier-er. Kewww Piiier
[Post edited 16 Sep 2018 23:29]
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Corny Joke Warning on 12:36 - Sep 17 with 2802 viewsEsox_Lucius

A waiter asks a diner what he would like to eat,
the man replies "I'd like the pissoles, chips and peas please"
The waiter says "Sir, it's an "R" not a "P"
The man replies, "That's fine, I'll have the arseholes, chips and peas please."

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 14:20 - Sep 17 with 2753 viewsjohncharles

What’s pink and hard in the morning ?

Financial Times crossword.

Strong and stable my arse.

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:29 - Sep 17 with 2705 viewshubble

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
1

Corny Joke Warning on 18:24 - Sep 17 with 2679 viewsDorse

Stevie Wonder was given a cheese grater for his birthday. Says it is the best book he ever read.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

1

Corny Joke Warning on 21:38 - Sep 17 with 2595 viewsEsox_Lucius

I'm gutted! I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, I phoned her up for a date only to find out that she had popped her clogs.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 22:04 - Sep 17 with 2579 viewsderbyhoop

Darth Vader goes into a boulangerie for 3 loaves of bread and 2 apple pies.

Pain, pain, pain, tarte tatin, tarte tatin


Do you have to know French to understand that?

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one’s lifetime. (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop

4

Corny Joke Warning on 22:25 - Sep 17 with 2561 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was attacked by a gang of mime artists last night.

They did unspeakable things to me!

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

4

Corny Joke Warning on 22:54 - Sep 17 with 2525 viewsTrom

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and hoodies... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk"
6

Corny Joke Warning on 09:08 - Sep 18 with 2438 viewsloftboy

Did you hear the joke about butter. I can’t tell you in case you spread it.

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: France or Croatia

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Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Sep 18 with 2323 viewsEsox_Lucius

Just got back from my mates funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

2

Corny Joke Warning on 15:19 - Sep 18 with 2300 viewsLblock

My ex girlfriend ran off with the TV aerial man
They got married
Terrible service but the reception was spot on

Here for a good time..... not a long time

4

Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Sep 18 with 2287 viewshopphoops

Why is a sultan's wife called a sultana?

Stands to raisin, dunnit.

A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
Poll: When will the next election date be announced?

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Corny Joke Warning on 17:22 - Sep 18 with 2224 viewsAshdown_Ranger

Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Sep 18 by hopphoops

Why is a sultan's wife called a sultana?

Stands to raisin, dunnit.


That is currantly the worst joke on this thread.
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:55 - Sep 18 with 2206 viewshopphoops

Corny Joke Warning on 17:22 - Sep 18 by Ashdown_Ranger

That is currantly the worst joke on this thread.


you may fig so. It's not cut and dried, fruit.

A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
Poll: When will the next election date be announced?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 18:16 - Sep 18 with 2198 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Sep 15 by Dorse

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because the parrots eat 'em all.


Christ, it took me days to get that😀

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 20:29 - Sep 18 with 2143 viewsrrrspricey

Corny Joke Warning on 18:16 - Sep 18 by Boston

Christ, it took me days to get that😀


Oh dear.
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Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Sep 19 with 1992 viewsEsox_Lucius

Scientists keep telling us that one day we could live on Mars.
I call BS, after I tried it for a month and I put on a stone and developed type 2 diabetes.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

5

Corny Joke Warning on 12:53 - Sep 19 with 1973 viewsade_qpr

Doctor was asked "whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?"
He said it was all in the taste.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 14:27 - Sep 19 with 1911 viewsEsox_Lucius

What many don't know is that Noah built a second boat. It was twelve floors high and filled with Koi fish.
It was a multi storey carp ark.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

4
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