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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 127397 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 15:53 - Sep 16 with 3666 viewsEsox_Lucius

A Leeds fan walks past a shop & sees the video "Leeds - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop & asks how much." £100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come its so dear?". "Well its a tenner for the video & £90 for the Betamax machine to play it on !!!

The grass is always greener.

3

Corny Joke Warning on 16:11 - Sep 16 with 3648 viewsEsox_Lucius

I asked my wife if she fancied trying something out from the Kama Sutra.
She said "No thanks, you know curry gives me bad guts".

The grass is always greener.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 16:44 - Sep 16 with 3633 viewsade_qpr

When it's stiff, stick it in
It goes in dry and comes out wet
The longer it's in, the stronger it gets
It comes out dripping and starts to sag
Please don't have your minds in the gutter
It's only a tea bag.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

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Corny Joke Warning on 18:51 - Sep 16 with 3576 viewsBoston

For our American fan base......

What do George Washington, Martin Luther King and Christopher Columbus have in common?

They were all born on holidays.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 18:54 - Sep 16 with 3574 viewsBoston

Did ya hear about the bald geezer who got a comb for a birthday present?

Said he'd never part with it.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 23:13 - Sep 16 with 3513 viewsCliveWilsonSaid



Kew Pier, Kew Pier, Kew Pier
Kew Pier, Kew Pier, Kew Pierrr-er
Kew Pier, Kew Pier, Kew Pier
Kew Pier-er. Kewww Piiier
[Post edited 16 Sep 2018 23:29]
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Corny Joke Warning on 12:36 - Sep 17 with 3335 viewsEsox_Lucius

A waiter asks a diner what he would like to eat,
the man replies "I'd like the pissoles, chips and peas please"
The waiter says "Sir, it's an "R" not a "P"
The man replies, "That's fine, I'll have the arseholes, chips and peas please."

The grass is always greener.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 14:20 - Sep 17 with 3286 viewsjohncharles

What’s pink and hard in the morning ?

Financial Times crossword.

Strong and stable my arse.

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Corny Joke Warning on 17:29 - Sep 17 with 3238 viewshubble

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue. I couldn't put it down.
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Corny Joke Warning on 18:24 - Sep 17 with 3212 viewsDorse

Stevie Wonder was given a cheese grater for his birthday. Says it is the best book he ever read.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Corny Joke Warning on 21:38 - Sep 17 with 3128 viewsEsox_Lucius

I'm gutted! I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, I phoned her up for a date only to find out that she had popped her clogs.

The grass is always greener.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 22:04 - Sep 17 with 3112 viewsderbyhoop

Darth Vader goes into a boulangerie for 3 loaves of bread and 2 apple pies.

Pain, pain, pain, tarte tatin, tarte tatin


Do you have to know French to understand that?

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one’s lifetime. (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop

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Corny Joke Warning on 22:25 - Sep 17 with 3094 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was attacked by a gang of mime artists last night.

They did unspeakable things to me!

The grass is always greener.

4

Corny Joke Warning on 22:54 - Sep 17 with 3058 viewsTrom

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and hoodies... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk"
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Corny Joke Warning on 09:08 - Sep 18 with 2970 viewsloftboy

Did you hear the joke about butter. I can’t tell you in case you spread it.

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Seeing as the bottom 3 have hit some form. How many points = safety this year

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Corny Joke Warning on 14:26 - Sep 18 with 2856 viewsEsox_Lucius

Just got back from my mates funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

The grass is always greener.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 15:19 - Sep 18 with 2833 viewsLblock

My ex girlfriend ran off with the TV aerial man
They got married
Terrible service but the reception was spot on

Here for a good time..... not a long time

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Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Sep 18 with 2820 viewshopphoops

Why is a sultan's wife called a sultana?

Stands to raisin, dunnit.

A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
Poll: When will the next election date be announced?

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Corny Joke Warning on 17:22 - Sep 18 with 2757 viewsAshdown_Ranger

Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Sep 18 by hopphoops

Why is a sultan's wife called a sultana?

Stands to raisin, dunnit.


That is currantly the worst joke on this thread.
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:55 - Sep 18 with 2739 viewshopphoops

Corny Joke Warning on 17:22 - Sep 18 by Ashdown_Ranger

That is currantly the worst joke on this thread.


you may fig so. It's not cut and dried, fruit.

A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
Poll: When will the next election date be announced?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 18:16 - Sep 18 with 2731 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Sep 15 by Dorse

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because the parrots eat 'em all.


Christ, it took me days to get that😀

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 20:29 - Sep 18 with 2676 viewsrrrspricey

Corny Joke Warning on 18:16 - Sep 18 by Boston

Christ, it took me days to get that😀


Oh dear.
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Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Sep 19 with 2525 viewsEsox_Lucius

Scientists keep telling us that one day we could live on Mars.
I call BS, after I tried it for a month and I put on a stone and developed type 2 diabetes.

The grass is always greener.

5

Corny Joke Warning on 12:53 - Sep 19 with 2506 viewsade_qpr

Doctor was asked "whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?"
He said it was all in the taste.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

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Corny Joke Warning on 14:27 - Sep 19 with 2444 viewsEsox_Lucius

What many don't know is that Noah built a second boat. It was twelve floors high and filled with Koi fish.
It was a multi storey carp ark.

The grass is always greener.

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