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Quite harrowing really. Good interview with Gary Neville. I wonder if he really can re-discover his form in football if he has worked through his personal demons. I hope so.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 12:00 - Jul 13 with 5111 views
The stuff about what happened to him as a kid has often been alluded to but never said until this. How horrible for a little kid to have to go through that sick sht at the hands of adults.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 12:01 - Jul 13 with 5107 views
That explains his form problems. Just goes to show you never really know what's going on in someone's personal life and it's got nothing to do with how much they're earning.
Really interesting and of course absolutely horrendous that he went through all that.
What's more interesting is I find that theres a lot more footballers with this mindset (wanting to get out of the game etc) that most would care to realise.
Although some of the caveats for this was the tabloids looking to break the story before him, somewhat forcing him to come forward and speak out. Also, Sky Bet being so heavily branded throughout.
When you're being so open about addictions, does feel a little off.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 12:53 - Jul 13 with 4864 views
Having to do this because the tabloids were going to "out" him as being in rehab. JFC. There is a malevolence at the heart of our fourth estate's largest practitioners that is not easily remedied
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 12:53 - Jul 13 with 4864 views
Incredibly brave of him to come forward. He was aware one of the tabloids was going to out him following his stay in rehab in the US. I wish him nothing but the best. Struggling with mental health silently is so destructive for the individual. Let’s hope he can get the hunger back to play again - he was an excellent player.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 13:07 - Jul 13 with 4807 views
As North said it had always been mentioned he had a bad childhood. But molested at 6 and dealing drugs by 8... fcking hell.
Actually hope he gets out the game. Hopefully he's made enough money to make some sound investments and can live off of that. Was such a wonderful player, and I suppose that rawness that made him so special was what has ultimately done for him.
Just a sad sad state of affairs that says a lot about our society as a whole
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 13:07 - Jul 13 with 4803 views
ooooft - tough watch..... anyone who has had to deal with this stuff knows how deeply affected victims of abuse are and how difficult it is to bring that out of them.... pretty brave interview and I only wish the best for him...
Jesus that guy has suffered and has been carrying around a lot of heavy baggage . He got hung off a bridge by a fully grown man was kind of glossed over but imagine the terror there . The molestation is sick too and its no wonder his career collasped with all that floating around his head daily. Lets hope he is clean now and can walk away financially secure but I suspect with his demons his pocket book might be light Did somebody joke on the transfer page a few weeks ago about signing Dele maybe he wants to start back at the bottom and it looks like we are down there
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 14:00 - Jul 13 with 4527 views
I really do feel for the lad.As one who has suffered abuse since birth both physically and mentally it does follow you down the years and causes great problems that you never quite eradicate.The good thing being now there is a change in understanding and awareness.Would have liked today's understanding all those decades ago when the attitude was you just didn't discuss emotional issues with family,friends and colleagues for fear of intimidation,bullying and ridicule. Good luck Deli,it's going to be a long and rocky road ahead but you'll survive I'm sure.
Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 14:00 - Jul 13 by Sonofpugwash
I really do feel for the lad.As one who has suffered abuse since birth both physically and mentally it does follow you down the years and causes great problems that you never quite eradicate.The good thing being now there is a change in understanding and awareness.Would have liked today's understanding all those decades ago when the attitude was you just didn't discuss emotional issues with family,friends and colleagues for fear of intimidation,bullying and ridicule. Good luck Deli,it's going to be a long and rocky road ahead but you'll survive I'm sure.
I'm sorry to read about your abuse & hope that somehow you've come to terms with this. I can't begin to understand the effect this must have on a child.
As a general rule, what can't be stressed enough is how nobody can get help until they are ready to accept that they need it. I hope that Dele Ali is ready for the reaction to this interview. Most will be supportive, but there will be some who feel he has shown weakness & "you can't suffer depression when you're paid that amount! "
Best wishes to Dele. And sonofpugwash.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 15:33 - Jul 13 with 4284 views
Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 14:28 - Jul 13 by terryb
I'm sorry to read about your abuse & hope that somehow you've come to terms with this. I can't begin to understand the effect this must have on a child.
As a general rule, what can't be stressed enough is how nobody can get help until they are ready to accept that they need it. I hope that Dele Ali is ready for the reaction to this interview. Most will be supportive, but there will be some who feel he has shown weakness & "you can't suffer depression when you're paid that amount! "
Best wishes to Dele. And sonofpugwash.
I was asked once by the police whether I would like to make a formal complaint,but I said what's the point they're all dead now bu they said no ,go ahead.But since it would have involved probably court proceedings against a monolithic religious organisation which is still very powerful I declined - didn't fancy becoming another Roberto Calvi.I think the worst pain comes from abuse that occurs from a family member. You go through all the stages - drink,drugs etc but that only adds to the problem...Agoraphobia,claustrophobia,OCD...Would you change it if you could?Sometimes but it's thanks to the abuse survival that you develop a wry and surreal sense of humour.
Ultimately no one ever knows the backgounds or life experiences of any other person on the planet but celebrities or well known people can be as damaged as anyone else
Its why everyone really has to be so careful in what is said and what is not.
I know a few in my own circles who are pretty much decent people but still can go on the attack as to the latest celebrity fall guy hots the buffers and with footballers like we do on here, we almost always feel justified in what we say.
I did not know myself about Dele Ails horrific past so to even get to a position where he was massively achieving for Spurs and England for 18 months or so is incredibly impressive.
I worked with a man whose brother and sisters all experienced either physical or sexual abuse from their father.
He said they were all divorced and incapable of making full blown long term relationships work. The scars ran deep !!!
Best wishes to Dele in all that he does in the future..
Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 15:33 - Jul 13 by Sonofpugwash
I was asked once by the police whether I would like to make a formal complaint,but I said what's the point they're all dead now bu they said no ,go ahead.But since it would have involved probably court proceedings against a monolithic religious organisation which is still very powerful I declined - didn't fancy becoming another Roberto Calvi.I think the worst pain comes from abuse that occurs from a family member. You go through all the stages - drink,drugs etc but that only adds to the problem...Agoraphobia,claustrophobia,OCD...Would you change it if you could?Sometimes but it's thanks to the abuse survival that you develop a wry and surreal sense of humour.
[Post edited 13 Jul 2023 18:16]
Sorry to hear that, Pugwash. You have my full admiration for dealing with it in your own way, as was and is your right.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
I’ve just finished a bit of work with a Non League Woman’s footballer who, alongside her sister, had a similar experience and has just this recently won a court case against her abusers. She was tipped for England caps and everything.
I’ll be posting it here.
All the best to all effected.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 18:29 - Jul 13 with 3875 views
A young man's touching, eye-opening and brave story who has suffered an awful childhood and struggled with addiction... Brought to you by SkyBet. Did they really need to do that on this of all videos? Maybe just take a moral high ground for just this one? Maybe steer your eye away from profit for just one second?
I've documented my mental health struggles in the past upon this very forum and find the honesty and the exposure of just how rife mental health issues have become wonderfully nourishing and almost relieving. This week alone I've had chats with two of my oldest mates who have both spoken openly about their MH issues, which I previously had known nothing about. This stuff helps the understanding and acceptance of MH issues and I'm grateful to Dele and proud of him for sharing.
I will be routing for him next year, whatever he does and whoever he does it with. Wish him the very best of luck.
[Post edited 13 Jul 2023 18:30]
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 21:32 - Jul 13 with 3621 views
It's possibly worth remembering this next time one of our players form falls off a cliff, it's not always because they don't care, none of us know what's going on in these young mens heads
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 23:54 - Jul 13 with 3499 views
I find it hard to take a liking to this bloke. He has a face that i'd like to slap, same as Jack Grealish. I was abused at the age of 10 which was arranged by my own Father. This ruined my entire life but I don't go on TV to talk about it.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 02:14 - Jul 14 with 3426 views
Feel for him and would love to see him get back to something like his best.
Plenty of very wealthy people have suffered these issues and committed suicide as a result. Money doesn't make it go away. If you aren't wealthy you might think money would solve these problems, if you are you'll know it doesn't.
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 16:21 - Jul 14 with 3144 views
Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 23:54 - Jul 13 by Loftgirl
I find it hard to take a liking to this bloke. He has a face that i'd like to slap, same as Jack Grealish. I was abused at the age of 10 which was arranged by my own Father. This ruined my entire life but I don't go on TV to talk about it.
I feel your pain, Loftgirl.
But "every cripple has their own way of walking" as Behan said. And we are all cripples in one way or another, I'm sure of that (just as I'm sure that we are all remarkable in one way or another).
Just as I'm glad you've spoken publicly here, I'm glad that he's spoken publicly as well. I have no doubt that people speaking up all over the world has led to the institutions (for example) being held to account.
Much love.
"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
I thought it was a brave thing to do and as he said, probably long overdue. I am very sorry to hear that Loftgirl also suffered abuse as a child but I hope that Dele speaking out about it does let people know that it is okay to go public about it and encourage others to get help.
Dele came across very well and very honestly I thought. I hope he can repair his life and enjoy playing football again.
And to Loftgirl. We are a community here. It is very brave of you to share that with us and we care about you. We may not be much good at football but we care about our own x
When you become a parent yourself, it really brings home to you, just how vulnerable children are, how much they depend upon the adults in their lives, and how much they trust and want to please those adults. I can’t even begin to imagine the damage done when people abuse that trust and responsibility. It’s unbearable to even thing about it.
Huge sympathy to sonofpugwash and loftgirl- you’ve endured things that no child should have to endure. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience those terrible things.
The atmosphere now around talking about mental health and past traumas is so much healthier than it was when I was a young man, and it’s great to see that much of the stigma has been lifted. Life is often a tough slog for many people, and can be brutal for others. I have had a grandparent take their own life, and my Mum sectioned when I was a kid, so I am so happy to see the advancements we have made in terms of talking about mental health. Creating an environment where people can talk about their struggles and expect a compassionate and supportive response, seems like great progress to me. Much love and admiration for everyone trying to find a way to navigate life, when doing so is not straightforward.
[Post edited 14 Jul 2023 22:34]
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
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Dele Ali on The Overlap about his problems on 00:10 - Jul 15 with 2790 views
I've only just watched the whole documentary which was cathartic and verbatim in parts, having only come to terms with my own trauma caused by abuse as a child and the sinister mental abuse received as I got older.
My trigger was the recent death of my sister (one of my abusers) and finding the paper trail of how my whole family felt about me and mine. No more bottling it up and blaming myself anymore, seeking approval from the same abusers.
I take responsibility for all of my errors, being expelled from school, drinking, and drug abuse, and time in a Dubai jail. The consequences were stints in rehab and unhealthy personal relationships. I can now understand why some of those behaviours were on display and the disregard I had for my actions.
Initially annoyed with myself that I would have taken it all to my grave to protect those who I needed the love and protection from, only to find out they only ever had their own narcissistic traits to protect.
So sorry to read others have faced similar abuse. The "stigma" is fading now and I hope anyone who hasn't sought help, to do so. You're not alone and as strange as it seems, you can forgive in your heart and mind, but there's not a day I'll be on this planet, I'll ever say it to their face/s.
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